*shouts into the void* Does anyone use 3'4 keyboard AND predictive text?

What's the best advice i could give graduates? Put sunscreen on your neck

Lots of suspicious coughing going on today. (It was me)

open.spotify.com/track/3Ctphw... Out stealing bread from the mouth of decadence

Going to wear a wooly high neck dress and winter tights today so expect a heatwave later.

mirror mirror on the wall why's my thigh stuck to my balls

this is what I'm doing when I'm not posting

Here ya go, Jen, have a joey🫂🦘

I GET LOGGED OUT. BUT I LOG IN AGAIN

Someone decided to tear around the drenched garden. #MemphisTheMalshi

Whistle while you work then whistle while you're fucking off so they think you're working. Whistle constantly.

Guess we should be more Huw. 🤷‍♂️

Your boyfriend disassociates to Disney Sound tracks in the car.

I said I had sausages and chips for tea

For the loles

Anyone else waiting for the big reveal at 8pm?

"Did you name that Cumbrian food festival?" "Yes boss, real sexy just like you asked."

Look all I want is for the two of us to knit our lives into one singular existence forged by the most unbreakable bonds while you also leave me alone most of the time

Reform are on C4 News and seem to have sent, in lieu of a spokesperson, a bottle of 19 Crimes wine

@mindlesmandles.bsky.social do we need more?

A dog's reaction to seeing a horse for the first time...😳😳

Hey! I love you.

Up in the canopy, a Tawny owlet keeps watch. 😍 Owlets leave the nest before they can fly, clambering along branches on fluff and claws. Both parents feed them by night, guided by hungry calls. #SpringStories

Another one of you has sent me a picture of your bruised bottom.

One of you has just sent me 5 accidental voicenotes from your pocket chatting about bacon whilst stomping to b&q 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Just said good morning to someone i walked past and they uttered "shit" in response. Who says Londoners aren't chatty?

🍏

Monday

Andy Burnham, every day:

Woken up by a pan banging the washing machine. #Monday

Morning. ☕️

These are pasties

Advert for these binoculars is a tear jerker.

Sounds like a Scottish/Spanish fusion dish

Cock off Newcastle.

🖕Stuff. And or, things.

Your boyfriend over peppers his eggs

Let it be clear: you are wanted here.

New terms, effective immediately.

“Terrifying bat” pics, to make your day.😍🥹

Science is fucking wild

Telling my brother "never saw it" to every movie he talks to me about. Even ones he is well aware I have seen. Watching him question his sanity over mundane shit is more fun than you'd think

Me, flirting online: I really like the way you manufacture rage.

You Utter Cock Cheese It's 7:00AM

Still in my gammy ankle trauma period- i saw an ankle going over.

my friend said “you can’t keep adopting strange little routines just because a crow reacts positively to them” which honestly feels narrow minded

"Would you like to subscribe to our mailing list? 😌" Oh, no thanks, I just want this t-shirt "Well in that case YOU ARE A FUCKING LIAR and you MUST want to hear from us 4 times each and every day no matter what"

[line of ppl shuffling through a prison cafeteria] INMATE: what are you in for INMATE 2: punted someone into the stars