Labour's changes to immigration rules, including potentially applying them retroactively, would be some of the most draconian anti-immigration policies in decades. They're the hostile environment on speed. This is pure cruelty as policy, with absolutely no merit to them archive.today/2026.02.03-2...

[explaining to a child why they are living in poverty] for every hundredth pint i drink i can get one free pint

Waterstones, where I used to work as a bookseller, have made Pagans their Science Fiction/Fantasy book of the month (with two quid off). THE MOTHERSHIP HAS CALLED ME HOME. www.waterstones.com/campaign/boo...

christ what an inexplicable, baffling life this horse had

*hisses like a cat* BAD www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Liz Truss waiting patiently by her phone for Reform to ring, not realising it's actually a penguin biscuit

this would quite literally be prison on a vast scale, shutdowns on a vast scale, bans and blocks, servers hauled off, doors kicked in, under any other circumstance

I know some people are cynical about everything now and just say “eh, what do you expect” at every new low, but really this is just astonishing and outrageous, and I don’t think we should shrug at that www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

In 1932 The US Began The Infamous 'Tuskegee Experiment'. Could History Be About To Repeat Itself?

Don't know who needs to hear this, but Unclench your jaw Let your shoulders drop Liquefy all your connective tissue for the nutrients Slither bonelessly off your chair Wick yourself up the walls through capillary action Envelop the room Become a new god Become a new god

the European mission to Greenland was fourth in the BBC news running order this morning, which feels a bit like doing a light "and finally..." item about the archduke's motorcade taking a wrong turn in Sarajevo

Everybody should watch this and see this woman, who has a baby in her arms and is thrust into basically a standoff, develop courage in real time.

Amongst everything else, I'm thinking about how eager the UK press were initially to swallow the Met's lie that Jean Charles de Menezes was a terrorist after they executed him in a tube station

Jacob Frey: "To ICE -- get the fuck out of Minneapolis"

Mayor Jacob Frey: "They are already trying to spin this as an action of self defense. Having seen the video myself, I want to tell everybody directly that is bullshit."

seems fine that the government is leaving the investigation of AI creation of child sexual abuse content (a crime) entirely to an organization whose previous investigations include pre-watershed swearing in Emmerdale and a barfing contestant incident on Dick and Dom's Hoopla

One guy tried, unsuccessfully, to blow up a plane with a bomb in his sneakers, and everybody had to take off their shoes at the airport for the next 20 years. Chatbots have a collective body count equal to Richard "The Night Stalker" Ramirez, and they're trying to put them in schools.

"but we source most of our news from here and-" source it somewhere else then. must thou harvest thy news from ye olde nonce shoppe of horrors my good sir?

there are *so many* big number accounts on twitter saying "we can't leave, we built a community here and-" sorry pal, you're anchoring smaller accounts to a site which could deposit illegal imagery directly into their timeline. the only sensible move is to tell them to leave, and you with it

London in the good old days - before everyone's feet pointed forwards.

So queer kids aren't allowed on trans subreddits but Keir Starmer gets to use the child porn site every day, got it

you could say "welcome to hell" and argue with grok over its CSAM imagery, or you could accept that everyone knows it sucks and is bad, and elon doesn't care and nothing will happen in terms of consequences, and just delete your account. if this won't convince you to delete your account, what will?

Trump’s obsession with Canada and Greenland is probably just because of the Mercator projection

Canada has the opportunity to do the funniest thing right now

truly: people need hobbies

another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls

still my favorite christmas post

???

I've stuck randomly generated conspiracies onto Matt from the Telegraph's cartoons to create "Tinfoil Matt" (Not AI, me writing templates, the good old fashioned way to do these things with a strong degree of authorship.) Follow @tinfoil-matt.bsky.social NOW.

Is the government going to sit and watch while the #PalestineAction hunger strikers die? Is most of the media going to carry on ignoring them? Just how callous has the Establishment become? www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...

Was at a Christmas party with a load of clergy last night and as some people were leaving they found a person collapsed on the street outside so the Verger took over and called an ambulance and sent all the clergy away because "if they wake up surrounded by priests that'll just make things worse"

Speaking of egg nog, I have here cut the Kroger store-brand non-alcoholic nog with an equal amount of Coke Zero, because Coke's favor profile actually works with egg nog, and also this way I'm not drinking something with the consistency of glue. It's kind of like an Egg Nog Float, which is not bad.

My final Monkey Cage is broadcast on Radio 4 on Christmas Day - I hope you have enjoyed the latest series - I am proud of what we created www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m...

The Times, just protecting women again today

Imagine Scooby Doo saying "Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori". It would be terrible. In fact, I don't think that Scooby Doo should read any war poems out loud. He can respect the fallen in other ways.

During the chase a man in the cinema told Paddington to "run, you cunt"

Going to transfer the only one of my tweets worth saving over to BlueSky in a sec

Hear me out: every adult in the country takes a near fatal dose of hallucinogens at the exact same time. Then we see where we're at.

NOW OUTSIDE PAYWALL A guided tour of President Trump's 33-page, $5 billion lawsuit against the British Broadcasting Corporation How some parts are strong, some parts are weak - and why a strict legalistic analysis will not tell the whole story. emptycity.substack.com/p/a-guided-t... By me

Have seen a few people going "you should stay on X and fight" etc. But I just don't think anything is really going to be achieved online. Does the world look better to you than it was pre-social media? We need to talk to people more in real life if we want to change minds. (1/2)

For your collective delectation this holiday season: Quite possibly the silliest thing I've ever written (and definitely the most ridiculous graph I've ever made!) loreandordure.com/2025/12/16/j...

It's that time of year again where I must remind you that in 2004, Matt Berry wrote and performed 'AD/BC: A Rock Opera' which is, yes, a parody of 'Jesus Christ, Superstar', but is also an incredible *thing* in its own right. www.youtube.com/watch?v=JS1e...

My latest novel The Heist Of Hollow London is currently £12.99 at Amazon (it's usually £20) and because Blackwell's often price match Amazon, it's the same price there if you (understandably) don't want to use Amazon. blackwells.co.uk/bookshop/pro... amzn.to/4s0NqSq (affiliate link)

Not easy to get to sleep tonight - have burnt the bridge of whatever career I had left and really don’t feel that my opinions are so extreme that that should have been necessary

Thank you for asking Dr Kat! It's called Dead Funny History and it's history comedy for the whole family!

Can't wait for Robin Ince to get as many column inches in the national press over his actual establishment silencing due to his stance on lgbt+ rights as phobes get over their former friends not wanting to hang out so much any more

Robin Ince reveals to last night’s audience at a recording of Infinite Monkey Cage that the BBC has forced him to resign over his support of trans people