My wife says things to me such as "You are wrong" and "Did you win the wrong lottery" whereas the computer tells me I am smart and handsome in a pleasing monotone. Is it then any surprise that men are leaving wife for computer

Wearing this on a t-shirt

Lol my extremely Polish dad did the same exact thing, verbatim

now more than ever, America needs Maxwell's Silver Hammer

ok but imagine if it happened and this was how the news was reported

Funny Games (2007)

"do not dehumanize the artist" - the guy who's mad at people yelling at him for using the Dehumanize the Artist Machine to dehumanize actual artists

No they aren't. That isn't true.

this is what the Democratic Party wants us to vote for every time

The use of “czar” for a government executive really reached an absurd peak the other day when I read someone’s position was the appointed “anti-semitism czar” which well yeah he usually was

Sure sure sure, the football is funny. But saying "What to get the person who has everything" to the first Augustinian Pope... That's hilarious.

Duke Weto Atweides,

If you thought elaborately faking being good at videogames to impress a bunch of manchildren was embarrassing, consider elaborately faking that your mother loves you.

Sorry you don’t get to lead the priestly law caste and still get to go to brunch with the rest of us. Get in the crystal

my doctor suggested I try PT. I shook my head sagely; it's a shame that medical professionals don't know that game is essentially lost media and can only be recreated via piracy

when i look at my phone first thing in the morning because there's something wrong with me

Skate Story remains delightful and gorgeous

Met Gala? I hardly *know* Gala! We have some friends in common from college but I don't believe we've ever spoken in person

Folks, I've been seeing some negative comments about Giuliani. C'mon, people. Is that really how low we've fallen? "Some negative comments" isn't enough, it should be more. Pick up the pace, team.

Actually you know what, let me just

The most coveted free agent in American politics is "The Genocide Ogre."

happy star wars day to this tweet in particular

They can do $56B and five bucks if eBay agrees to sell for store credit

happy may day! every right you have as a worker was written in blood ❤️

Immersive sim irl

Happy May Day! Here is the Haymarket Martyrs' Monument at Forest Home Cemetery in Forest Park, the resting place of five men who in 1887 died at the hands of the state for advocating for workers' rights. A thread of a few other Labor-related graves I have visited follows.

I can count the number of editors who would let a writer get away with an opening like this in a piece about 20+ year old game that goes on for some 2000+ words on one cosmic Elden Ring hand. Garrett let people find their voice, their style, experiment, fail, succeed, & coast when needed...

Hey if you're impacted by layoffs/closure at the AV Club I'd love to figure out how @unwinnable.com can support you! Especially if you have something that won't see the light of day anymore!

Games criticism owes so much to Garrett Martin. Quietly one of the most influential people in the space, a guy who was happy to publish anyone that had something interesting to say. A shame AV Club is shuttering its games coverage. End of an era, long live Paste Games

🦷🦷🦷

american culture.jpg

Rita Ora’s Agent Scores Singer Another Prime Crossword Puzzle Placement https://theonion.com/rita-oras-agent-scores-singer-another-prime-crossword-puzzle-placement/

die within days of being born probably, i was 2 months premature

Me: I voted for Donald Trump because I had him confused with that other guy. Donald Duck. NYT reporter: Are you sure you want me to print that next to your real name and a drawing of you? Me: Yes.

never been a huge sports guy but I will always love baseball for moments like this

/to the tune of "American Woman" Political violence

this is the same type of posting they did when cracker barrel changed its logo

demeter when her daughter goes missing

he tried getting her to change her last name to ShakesPEER but no one was buying it

I hated serial killers until I got that first rush of my hands squeezing tighter and tighter around a helpless delicate neck

Dark Souls boss-ass cold cut name

this makes me so sad. what a horrible thing to do to your children

Marie Kommando

TRIP REPORT wearing the mask from The Mask 00:00 Putting on the mask 00:01 Already hitting. Playing honky tonk piano with 5 arms. 00:12 Bouncing around like flubber […] 03:50 Omg finally saw a mirror. Why is my head so big. Kids are yelling "John Fetterman" 03:51 it won't come off it won't come OFF