david lunch
@nicemustard.bsky.social
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COLE: COOP, THEY CAUGHT THE CEO SHOOTER. HIS NAME WAS TONY SPAGHETTI, REAL BOY NEXT DOOR. ABS LIKE ADONIS. POLITICAL IDEAS OF A FUTON. PERHAPS THE IDEAL MAN
over 1 year ago
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*holding office in an administration under serious scrutiny for sex crimes against children* teenager sperm is mid
add a skeleton here at some point
1 day ago
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holy shit man
@theonion.com
just does not fuck around. Thanks
@bencollins.bsky.social
for the gift i get in the mail, it always makes my day
12 days ago
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this is just me but if i kept getting shot at because i suck and do a bad job being in charge of things i would go home and stay there
17 days ago
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david lunch
Tim Onion
18 days ago
I'm crying, this is so funny, he has absolutely no idea.
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Topher Florence
19 days ago
social media was a wonderful brain toilet for every random half thought you didn't want to bother real people with before they decided to move all of society and infrastructure and government inside of the toilet
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you know what movie is good? citizen kane. i am proud to be the first person to ever say this. i just love the part where he rosebuds
20 days ago
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david lunch
the hype
about 3 years ago
mcdonald's manager: show the new guy the ropes me: yeah no prob *opens drawer* we use them to restrain grimace
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man if they used that sauce that way, you must have fucked up
21 days ago
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i have some cool dvds. it's my hobby and it's the only thing i spend disposable income on. this is the fucking coolest one i've ever bought and it's not close
24 days ago
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Ygrene
over 2 years ago
[an awkward minute passes as Death struggles to pick up change from the countertop] Death: (embarrassed) ha ha slippery coins Drugstore Clerk: nah man it’s cuz you got them bone hands
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david lunch
Josh Gondelman
about 1 month ago
Where the grass is [redacted] and the girls are [redacted].
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derek guy
about 1 month ago
I'm sorry, but this woman posting photos of her dog at a religious event in Spain and then having to frantically clarify a few days later at their "supersausage_charlie" Instagram account is something out of a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode.
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Puff the Magic Hater
about 1 month ago
You have more in common with the people of Iran than you do with anyone in this administration, any member of the technocracy, anyone who is profiting from this war, or any billionaire. When you see Iranians forming human chains outside key infrastructure sites, you should feel a sense of kinship.
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ceej
about 1 month ago
I’ve been thinking about this guy almost daily for ten fucking years. essentially my entire 30’s. when he finally croaks I imagine I’ll let out a sigh so deep it realigns my fucking spine
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cigarettes are so fucking back
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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hey can someone like, do something
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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david lunch
Dr. Skylar Grayson
about 1 month ago
NASA just dropped this image of Artemis II astronaut Christina Koch looking back at us. The first woman to ever see our planet in its entirety. I’m not crying you’re crying 🥹🔭🧪 📸: NASA
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Robert Evans (the Only Robert Evans)
about 1 month ago
Iran just reportedly hit an Oracle data center in Dubai and i can't stop thinking about how good it would feel to see my tax dollars spent firing Tomahawk cruise missiles at data centers.
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lowtax speedrun enjoyer
about 1 month ago
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Lupita Nihongo
about 2 months ago
I don’t love being in a society where you can sell enough pillows to do meaningful damage to democracy or sell enough children’s books to do a genocide or sell enough chicken sandwiches to abolish gay marriage That all seems like a ridiculous way to do society to me
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Haus of Decline
about 2 months ago
Here's a new song called "Do You Have Any Idea How Most People Live?"
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K. Thor Jensen
about 2 months ago
yes, absolutely, sir. extremely based. tremendous parenting.
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i don't care if it's dumb to get excited about awards shot bullshit, this is cool. PTA has been my favorite filmmaker for a very long time. this is cool.
about 2 months ago
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holy fucking shit MBJ. i am so happy
about 2 months ago
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my guy PTA maybe gonna walk away with the whole thing tonight?
about 2 months ago
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david lunch
Abra / Jessica Conwell, Your Leader 🏳️⚧️ 🇲🇽🌼👻
about 2 months ago
He looks like if The Matrix was about being cis.
add a skeleton here at some point
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man streisand killed the room. new meaning to streisand effect amirite
about 2 months ago
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man it PTA doesn't win this one... what even are they doing
about 2 months ago
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burger king is so cool man, spending millions of dollars to say "our food is trash" but like, not changing it. come have a whopper again you piece of shit. this time maybe a guy didn't wipe his ass with it first
about 2 months ago
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That version of "i lied to you". goddamn. kind of don't know what to say. "sinners" is just not like anything ever made and i hope they run the table with it tonight, if not it doesn't matter. they changed everything
about 2 months ago
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Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani
2 months ago
Let there be as much outrage from politicians in Washington when kids go hungry as there is when I break bread with New Yorkers.
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stefan
2 months ago
Can this be a solution?
add a skeleton here at some point
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Evan Greer
2 months ago
“Piracy is the most effective form of artistic distribution these days. So be it.” -Werner Herzog on NPR just now 🔥
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Ygrene
3 months ago
sometimes, if you’re up early enough, you can hear them turn the birds on
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*fire bombing tehran* this is actually because of jimmy carter, who's a MODEL, by the way
2 months ago
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watching The Thing (1982) and it's crazy how wilford brimley was 26 years old when they made it
2 months ago
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CHOAM community outreach coordinator
2 months ago
add a skeleton here at some point
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the three words every girls wants to hear
2 months ago
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leon
2 months ago
this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to bomb this elementary school full of kids because he thinks it makes him look cool. also his scheming viziers will be betting money on it for fun. good luck soldier
add a skeleton here at some point
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"salò, or the 120 days of sodom": 1/5 you know it smell crazy in there
2 months ago
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my favorite video store re-opened today so i went shopping to escape the horrors. pick of the litter, imprint 4k of body snatchers. holographic slip is gorgeous, can't wait to see how good the movie looks
2 months ago
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love to wake up to world war 3
2 months ago
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Roxi Horror 💀🌸
3 months ago
thank you Ray, got it
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Brendel
3 months ago
Kurt Vonnegut stop being so applicable to all time periods of American life, you can’t do that Kurt Vonnegut, your insights are too evergreen Kurt Vonnegut
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the del toro frankenstein... idk man i do not understand it at all. i avoided it because i knew i'd feel this way. if you want to tell a totally different story just do that and call it something else, people have been doing that for like 200 years now
3 months ago
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Kaleb Horton
over 1 year ago
Need to cheer myself up so here's the best Twitter post ever. It spawned one billion bad ripoffs but it's a beautiful magic trick. You don't just read it in his voice: he said it now. This quote is real.
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back on my bullshit (watching PTA movies all day) watched "one battle" again, just started "inherent vice". trying to do the ones i've seen less, so next is "licorice pizza" or "phantom thread". probably close with "the master"
3 months ago
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i'm sorry nobody is named wambsganns. that looks like when you get a bunch of shitty tiles in scrabble and can't spell anything. or you're a star war bounty hunter that only got written in to be an action figure. not a real person
3 months ago
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mars attacks (1996)
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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david lunch
Hawks 101
4 months ago
Dave Matthews and Tim Ryenolds playing Neil Young’s Ohio last night and ends with some Rage Against the Machine.
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