My kids think it's so funny I know real people named Kevin. To them, that's a minion name.

Stopped by the Texas Book Festival!😃💖 Some highlights: Meeting Carl the Collector and visiting my favorite haunted* bathroom at UT. *allegedly

*walking on the beach* Me: *puts shell to ear* Shell: we've been trying to contact you about your cars extended warranty

us @ the moon tonight

Yet, I'll certainly keep trying.

tonight's election results were a load-bearing pillar of my mental health and i'm excited to announce i will NOT be going insane

Don’t talk to me, I’m hope-scrolling

There are more of us than there are of them.

Swedish Fish made in Turkey and distributed from East Hanover, New Jersey. What a world!

Whoever looked at a waffle and was like, “I’ma roll that sumbitch up and shove some ice cream in it” should still be winning Nobel prizes for it.

🖼️ Leanne Hatch

Happy Halloweenies! 🎃🎉😃

Cheesed off chickens

with SNAP benefits set to run out, your local food banks are going to play an even bigger role in keeping people fed if you can, please donate! and consider volunteering to sort, package, and distribute food. I donated to Philabundance today, and I’d love to see other donations!

Eventually you have to accept that no matter how many different notebooks you buy, they won’t make you a better writer. For that, you need to spend a lot of money on the right pen.

I hate the clocks going backwards and forwards. When I was young, we didn’t even have clocks. If we got hungry, we ate each other. We were poor, but we were happy. Good times. Not that we had time. It hadn’t been invented. We had to make our own time out of string and cholera.

I really don’t like how we just claiming moons all of a sudden. Mind you, we still ain’t claimed Pluto?! Been in a custody battle with Pluto since the Bush administration but now we just claiming random moons. I don’t know that damn moon.

Theater icon Harvey Fierstein, known for his roles in ‘Hairspray’ and his show ‘Torch Song Trilogy,’ has moved to Connecticut and is writing a book on quilting.

Take note of all these people turning out for protests in small towns in red states. Remember them the next time you’re inclined to write an area off because “they voted for this.”

The front of your truck should not be taller than me.

Here's a link to my spooky middle grades book! 😃🎃 bookshop.org/p/books/lost...

Five minutes of pure cinema about a haunted nightclub in Sheffield.

Kani Bucho, an office boss with an entire crab for a head, is the mascot for Yokobiki, a company that makes metal roller shutters for store windows.

The funny thing is, when the documentary cut to the real-life guy, his hair did actually kind of look like that. 😬 My bad.

The wig budget on Netflix productions must be a penny... simply, an abysmal state of affairs.

I know I missed this when it was a trend, but I finally got pictures of my basement museum from when I was in 2nd grade sent to me so here is my "How it started/How it's going" 🦕🦑🐌⚒️ Good to see I had some early mollusk representation

Every time I remember sharks are older than trees I feel like my brain was just karate chopped in half.

it's okay to have fun during spooky month even if you're having a whole spooky life

"but it's everywhere now so we just have to accept it's the new reality" motherfucker we can just stop putting it everywhere! we did it with asbestos and CFCs and lead-based paint or petrol and make-up with arsenic in it! if everyone is using something and it's bad, we can choose to stop!

Masks by Fernand Aubry, 1950s

I've been waiting all year to repost this 🎃

preparing the bebé for scary movies with Peek-a-BoOoOo™️

My current marketing strategy. 🧍‍♀️ (Link in bio.)

when you step in something wet while wearing socks

I need to lie down in a room full of puppies.

I clap when the plane lands because I’m alive. Then I clap again when my luggage arrives. Then I clap when I find my car. I’m very supportive.

I must showcase my trinkets and wares.🤌🙇🏾‍♀️

Is having a baby kind of like walking around with a celebrity? It’s gotta be, right?

I really wish fb marketplace had a comment section.

Time to repost last year's rapture joke:

RFK: "No one had autism when I was young." TV, 1967: "I'm Julius Sumner Miller and physics is my business. And my business today has most uncommon enchantment. And of all the things I like to do, of which there are hundreds in this business of demonstrations, this indeed enchants my soul the most!"

Targeted boycotts are great, but might I also suggest holding a grudge forever.

Autism does not need to be cured! It's the rest of society that needs to be more accommodating!! Neurodivergence and disabilities cause suffering only because we have so little understanding or support. Treating it as something "broken" or "wrong" only enforces that, please just help people instead.

They're not even spacing out raptures like they used to.

i simply did not have the disney adult antifascist reading list on my late capital declining democracy bingo card and that’s on me

New pots available now! www.roseschmits.com international shipping available

The less I know the better