average housewife
@averagehousewife.bsky.social
📤 1082
📥 859
📝 693
average housewife. jokes? imposter syndrome.
reposted by
average housewife
If anyone is going to be near Orlando this weekend, my friends are having their 11th annual free beer fest. It’s free, and the people are pretty fun.
loading . . .
Tom & Dan’s 11th Annual Bad at Business Beerfest Returns to Sanford - Orlando Magazine
Photo courtesy Tom & Dan If you’ve ever wondered what happens when you mix two local legends, dozens of Florida breweries, live music, and absolutely no cover charge, the answer is simple: chaos in th...
https://www.orlandomagazine.com/tom-dans-11th-annual-bad-at-business-beerfest-returns-to-sanford/
6 days ago
0
2
2
If anyone is going to be near Orlando this weekend, my friends are having their 11th annual free beer fest. It’s free, and the people are pretty fun.
loading . . .
Tom & Dan’s 11th Annual Bad at Business Beerfest Returns to Sanford - Orlando Magazine
Photo courtesy Tom & Dan If you’ve ever wondered what happens when you mix two local legends, dozens of Florida breweries, live music, and absolutely no cover charge, the answer is simple: chaos in th...
https://www.orlandomagazine.com/tom-dans-11th-annual-bad-at-business-beerfest-returns-to-sanford/
6 days ago
0
2
2
reposted by
average housewife
Tusk Jenkins
23 days ago
I know I seem like so autonomous but I'm actually partnered with refraction of light so let me run it by the old prism first. Hey bendy straw sucking the crazy light outta me, more like dispersing my will amirite
1
82
45
reposted by
average housewife
mr potato
about 1 year ago
mugger: *points gun* your money or your life me: sure thing *hands him my id* you got 2 kids and didn’t actually understand the matrix mugger: no i mean- me: *already running away* you’re late for steph’s recital
2
804
227
reposted by
average housewife
𝔊𝔬𝔱𝔥 â„𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱𝔯𝔶 𝔅𝔲𝔣𝔣𝔢𝔱
24 days ago
why stop with time? we should also turn our scales back 10lbs
1
29
8
Sad my kid’s cute little goth friend didn’t notice I reorganized the refrigerator.
25 days ago
0
4
0
The air fryer doesn’t turn off when opening the door anymore so I have to unplug it or be real fast.
about 1 month ago
0
6
2
If you use medical marijuana and lose all feeling in your mouth, be sure to ask yourself if you recently used maximum strength sensitive gum toothpaste.
about 1 month ago
0
5
0
If anyone has a dairy problem, Reese’s Pieces just reformulated and the new ones don’t have any milk. 🙌 Check your packages though.
about 1 month ago
0
8
2
Updating my cv and since nothing matters anymore thinking about including Expert in Beat Saber.
about 1 month ago
2
5
2
what is the formal job title of personality hire
about 1 month ago
1
1
0
reposted by
average housewife
balenciaga mcdonalds
about 1 month ago
back when the economy was better phones had clicky home buttons
0
7
1
hope these light photons find you well
about 1 month ago
0
8
3
reposted by
average housewife
spleenly
about 1 month ago
I, for one, welcome our new inflatable frog overlords.
1
141
43
reposted by
average housewife
Kinell
about 1 month ago
LET'S FUCKING GO
11
262
146
reposted by
average housewife
Jesse Taylor Lewis
about 1 month ago
I'm like 36% sure it's Saturday
0
5
3
reposted by
average housewife
Frovo
about 2 months ago
ME: if frankenstein is the name of the doctor not the monster then how is the bride of frankenstein the bride of the monster not the doctor CHATGTP: *implodes*
11
373
61
reposted by
average housewife
𝗖👽𝗥𝗟
about 1 month ago
I love when they put blankets on baby elephants when it's cold out it is my favorite shit
0
26
3
Excited to have my birthday on the same day that giant comet alien ship deploys itself behind the sun and destroys us all.
about 1 month ago
0
8
2
@marioncofldems.bsky.social
how much is it to do something like this on billboards near the mall? That vitamin shoppe corner always has a ton of traffic.
about 1 month ago
1
2
0
Be mysterious. Be mysterious. Says a million incredibly stupid things.
about 2 months ago
0
6
2
reposted by
average housewife
Is it pie season yet because I really need some pie
3 months ago
3
25
12
That guy who threatened to release Mike Johnson’s Grindr information but instead just raised a ton of money should be shunned off the internet.
about 2 months ago
8
64
13
Remember that week a couple months ago where we were all so happy and excited and thought he was dead.
about 2 months ago
10
151
12
reposted by
average housewife
Jason, ex Inferis
about 2 months ago
Think I may be the best at imposter syndrome, but not sure how I would know
5
142
39
So much exploitative consumerism but still no Cadbury Cream pumpkins.
2 months ago
0
3
0
Overwhelmed with internal screams? But have you considered starting a course?
2 months ago
0
4
1
reposted by
average housewife
Jerry Chen
2 months ago
you're telling me these sausages are made out of vegans
41
447
47
More like crapture amiright
2 months ago
1
7
1
reposted by
average housewife
donni saphire
2 months ago
Not enjoying any of these news stories, bring back the evil clowns
3
127
25
reposted by
average housewife
Viktor Winetrout
2 months ago
I wish the rapture would happen but just to people who believe in the rapture
91
2018
284
reposted by
average housewife
Dude
2 months ago
0
14
4
reposted by
average housewife
Cult Papa
2 months ago
have i told you all that i am proud of you today? because i am. you’re here, you are you and that’s the best thing i could have asked for. so thank you for being my favorite version of yourself. 💛
0
8
2
reposted by
average housewife
Lord Juiblex
2 months ago
FREE THE OLD GODS FROM THEIR PRISONS we scream as we rip open all the cereal boxes at the Seven-Eleven and pour the cookies on to the floor.
1
29
9
Is the Wallflower’s song Three Marlenas about the evil twins on Days of Our Lives?
2 months ago
0
1
1
reposted by
average housewife
Ian Boudreau
2 months ago
*inventing clam chowder* Hey guys, you know those slugs that live in the rocks on the beach? We should put those in some kind of hot milk soup
59
1400
182
reposted by
average housewife
Memento (Aloof) Morty 🌙
2 months ago
None of this would be happening if Harambe hadn't died
9
148
26
“Down with the establishment!” I say, while silently critiquing Gen Zs terrible production quality.
2 months ago
0
1
0
reposted by
average housewife
presentdad🙋🏻‍♂️
2 months ago
SEAL: But did you know that when it snows my eyes become large and the light that you shine can't be seen? OPTOMETRIST: that’s not supposed to happen
4
324
87
This is why elder millennials look so young.
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
5
112
24
Nothing makes me want to slam a kitchen drawer more than accidentally slamming a fork in the kitchen drawer.
2 months ago
0
6
1
When your husband makes you stay awake to watch a very late sport on tv but instantly falls asleep as soon as it comes on.
2 months ago
1
14
3
Why do we always have to dial area codes now, even in the same town? I just want to call my drugstore not another state.
2 months ago
1
3
0
Forgot to buy bacon hope you like peeled hotdogs.
2 months ago
0
10
3
Sept 11 - Jeffrey Epstein’s birthday 9/11/2001 - 1/20/1953 = 7910048 7+9+1+0+0+4+8 = 29 = 2+ 9 = 11 1+1 = 2 number 1s = twin 1s = Twin Towers
3 months ago
0
6
2
Hope the cat happily takes his pill tonight.
3 months ago
0
2
0
Joke’s on you, bills, you’re getting left in the car.
3 months ago
1
5
2
Is it pie season yet because I really need some pie
3 months ago
3
25
12
Load more
feeds!
log in