Some thoughts on one of the best friends I ever had.

shout out to Dan McQuade, who took me up on an offer to see Hannibal Buress at the Troc, pulled out his phone to record the Bill Cosby joke, and through the butterfly effect of the internet sent Bill Cosby to prison and kickstarted the #MeToo movement. He was one of the kindest guys I’ve ever met.

when they put me on an anti-psychotic it was like they knew something like this was coming

Patullo (Italian name) brought shame to Kevins (Irish name) everywhere. A pox on his family

this also explains Jenny Lewis marrying her dog

John Harbaugh got fired for not knowing enough trivia about his brother

E-A-G-L-E-S

I hate Waymo as much as the next guy but Hitchbot jokes are hack. It was a social media stunt by a loser nobody cares about

Five concerts I’ve seen: Kurt Vile, 2009 Odd Future, 2011 Run the Jewels, 2013 Waxahatchee, 2013 Mitski/Japanese Breakfast/Jay Som, 2016

Lowest form of posting is look at this shitty asshole from the shitty asshole site for shitty assholes. Learn to post better.

Not enough is being made of the fact that this was a *pitbull mix* basically a dog that grows on trees

eight artists who define my music taste: Eat A Fat Dick Eric Alpert Ass Question

do you know how drunk you have to be to get arrested for DUI as a fed?

Glad he figured out how to find Virginia with three GPS’s.

cause im slim shady check it and see i got a bunch of guys who look just like me

anybody seen any good videos lately?

I worked a d4vd concert last month. That dude is guilty

GHISLAINE MAXWELL: here we go, boss. a big book of letters from all of your horrible best friends JEFF EPSTEIN: oh neat! look at this one from Donald GHISLAINE: that one's fake actually

spitting is fine

Yeah, this is definitely coordinated

hell yeah

hoping we get a sabbath cover tonight from the Barenaked Ladies

remember when people would put a period in front of the @ so to make sure you saw their tryhard joke

Yeah it’s time to bring back my all time favorite tweet, by @donaldhughes.ca

tomorrow night I’m working a concert headlined by the daughter of Dow Jones’ CEO

Howie Roseman turn up

Saquon shotgunning a beer

the city of philadelphia is the greatest country on earth, i would not be who i am if i were not born and raised by the beautiful garbage city of philadelphia go birds baby

Anyway, Philadelphia is the greatest city on the planet

Jalen is goated

Philly was right to be overconfident all along baby

go birds

Go Birds

Nothing more embarrassing than choking on nothing, like no I assure you I’m not coughing because I’m sick, I’m coughing because I apparently can’t be trusted to have saliva in my mouth without choking on it

new insane tech job listing just dropped

👍

brown gravy at night, potato's delight white gravy in the morning, fresh biscuits take warning

our nation has a Kennedy missing his brain and now a white man from Dallas is about to help LBJ win. welcome back, 1963

First time in like 15 years that I actually turned on my TV to watch SportsCenter

Fuck Josh Harris

Getting really into the Fast Grabbing Guys on Instagram

[using golden gloves-level footwork to corner a stranger at a party] ..my theory is that ET was a featherless owl,

oh, youre here from tik tok? (chuckle's lightly ) Is that like reddit for babies

I feel like I hear about the mayor of New York far, far more than anyone who does not live or work in New York should have to hear about the mayor of New York.

There's a case to be made for this desk being the single stupidest place in the United States.

Pat’s and Geno’s are perfectly fine fare after an evening of drinking.