No one: Absolutely no one: Ballmaxxers:

It's a pie. I've never seen a cake that has a crust.

He looks like he's about to lipsync with Paul Simon

Best film adaptation of The Odyssey, wrong answers only. (This is technically the right answer, but still.)

Geoffrey had the best lines, but Carlton was the funniest hands down.

There's no reason why the chicken's not in a bag or a box. There's no earthly explanation for why there's no lid on the cup. The chicken is on top of the cup, but unless you like chicken back, the flavors aren't even mingling with each other. Nothing going on here is making any sense at all.

"Don't nobody wanna hear French Montana do a song by himself." - 50 Cent

Synth funk satyrs. Ogre ska's gonna sound like Jamaican Barry White and Bob Dylan mixed together.

An emo rock version of a sea shanty does sound intriguing...

I worked for Spirit for 8 years. They closed our station last year and laid all of us off, but they did give us a severance. It wasn't much, but it helped tremendously to cover the gap until I got another job. I feel terrible for everyone going through this.

Filled up at my local Arco and it’s currently $5.99/gallon. It’s time.

Outside of an incredible action sequence fleshing out Scorpion's origin, the first MK reboot was a 2-pack of ass. I don't have high hopes for a sequel, especially based on the franchise's track record:

I skipped breakfast because they were supposed to be having a BBQ at the job today, but they postponed it. Now I'm hangry.

They had this spicy crispy chicken sandwich I used to get all the time, but they changed the recipe and now it's ass.

Can’t save or financial plan your way out of poverty. And most people do not realize they’re considered working poor. If a $500-1000 emergency puts your finances in shambles then they gotta stfu. People are putting groceries on credit cards and klarna.

Drop some Marvel

Two of them you already know. I'm beating Andrew Johnson's ass like Thragg did Nolan.

Blow the bus up.

There's also the real third option: Spend millions implementing the faulty AI into your business, then hiring new people when the shit doesn't work. At severely reduced pay, or course.

Sinners teaches us… don’t let everybody into your party They don’t deserve your celebration

I don't think Carl knew he was the side nigga at the time. That's why he wished he'd never met her. At all.

He looks like he's gonna cover Dawn FM

How does MIA go from boasting of liberation fighters in her family from being a MAGA antivaxxer? Whatever, personal choices.

Couldn't have said it better myself 😂

That recession is here

Ronny, Bobby, Ricky and Mike.

He's about to grab his watch chain and go lindy hopping

The rich people of today only have two ideas: 1. Let’s kill everyone 2. I need a bunker so after we kill everyone I can emerge from underground, spread my wings like a peacock, and continue to be rich

Orcas are about to remake Hit Em Up 🤣

I posted this a few days ago, but it don't get no clearer than this. www.cnbc.com/2026/04/15/s...

7. I know how to save, but I like to spend.

Every MLM scheme someone tried to sell you on.

You don't even need a liner; the tray is non-stick and wipes clean easily. This person is nasty as shit.

Yep. Siri was developed by our government, and Apple just bought it and sold it back to us. IPads are just big-ass iPhones. IMacs can't even be upgraded because they soldered the components to the motherboard. They've never really innovated anything; they just positioned tech like a luxury item.

Michael's gonna mess around and get the first biopic sequel. I liked this one, but they left way too much off the table.

The same day SCOTUS dismantled the Voting Rights Act, I watched Kamala Harris take the stage at the Douglas Awards. She didn’t offer comfort; she offered real talk 🔥 “This is how they play. They are strategic. They think long-term and they are ruthless…we have to be ruthless too.”

Sativa is my main thing, especially for the morning. Hybrid is cool, but you don't know which way it's gonna lean until it's sitting on you - and I might have shit to do that day. If I'm not planning on doing anything? Indica.

I've always wondered if V was inspired by the "lizard people" conspiracy theory, or if it was the genesis of said theory. Either way, it was a great show.

Boffum. There's no way Cruella's gonna pass on the blunt.

The second you take that deal, the genie's gonna turn into the Wishmaster and start fucking your wishes up so you'll stay. Drop that shit into the sea.

Object to the wedding before they get a chance, and cause a big scene - big enough to get yourself thrown out. No one else will want to object after that. (Apologize with an all-expense paid honeymoon at Hotel Transylvania.)

Freaknik. I'll be scarred for life, but at least I'll live.

The thing is, cults don't want everyone. Most of them have techniques to filter most people out, and isolate the ones that stay in. In fact, a lot of people that leave cults often go on to join different cults afterward.

Enforcer?!? Didn't he get his shit rocked by Doug Christie during a game?

I would do anything for love, but I won't do that. 🤣