Thinking of getting into health care analytics. This is my crazy job idea for the week.

You got it boss

Still not verified on here... life is a relentless hell

Lots of snow beside our driveway now 🙃

Happy (First) International Day of Peaceful Coexistence ✌️🇺🇳

Law & Order: KGB. Reposted because Kevin asked. I made these like ten years ago or something.

I wrote a short essay for @lukeoneil47.bsky.social's Welcome To Hell World about Minneapolis' opposition to ICE. www.welcometohellworld.com/there-is-no-...

I am weaving generative AI into every aspect of my life to maximize my role as an unemployed guy

People forget Trump has a degree in economics from Wharton. He probably knows the science.

"Sofia, a colonoscopy doesn't have a co-pay, does it?" "This one isn't preventative so it codes with a co-pay." "Okay thanks." -- from my spin-off The Pitt: Billing Department

"hmm ireally messed up making this shitty basket. guess ill put a lot of food in it" bud you Fucked up. look it is spilling our bountiful harvest everywhere. stupid ass

new year, new project

People got mad at me because I said TV is a debased medium, with very little of quality to actually recommend it. Looking back, I can understand their frustration, particularly if they’ve wasted a lot of time watching television or—god forbid—making it.

Very sad to say it seems Mike Fossey, aka Mike F. has died. Truly one of the funniest posters of all time and a talented artisan. Had been friends online for many years, but I got to hang out a couple times at shows in Boston and he was funny and sweet in real life too.

Tomorrow buy one gift you think Jesus would like, like a Switch 2, and put it near your bed. If he doesn't take it while you sleep, he wants you to have it. ❤️

No matter where you're from, no matter what your religion calls it, I hope you have a merry Christmas ❤️

Have a great Giving Tuesday ❤️

Happy Thanksgiving to America 🦃

One month until Christmas 🫶

When I was in high school I thought most stories in The Onion were fake but the ones about "Area Man" etc were real.

Blue Jays need your prayers. Your loved ones can get next week's.

Americans are stupid disgusting cattle. Which I revere as holy.

Sad to hear Mamdani is losing. He's young though and has a bright future ahead of him.

I found a pair of special sunglasses which have enlightened me to the secret truth about our society, which is that everything is slightly too bright all the time

I hope they verify my account on here by the end of the year. I'd love to enter 2026 knowing I'm a thought leader.

About a month to Black Friday... better get your Christmas lists to me soon.

Congratulations to the Toronto Blue Jays on their "American" League Championship 🙏

Listening to Pavement's cover of No More Kings out of solidarity with Americans, no matter your political beliefs.

Wouldn't be surprised if Ohtani bet he'd hit three home runs and strike out ten... easy way to make extra money

Making a side cut into the USA so when it falls it's away from Canada

When I get a blue check on here I will feel so proud

My (real) doctor said he thinks carbonated beverages cause "genetic damage" and I was like that sounds wrong but yes I now believe it

i think it’s unbecoming and antisocial when people go out in public with freshly washed, still wet hair.

Now that I'm cola sober (28 months) it'd be cool to open a little place for other cola sober people without fountainheads around

Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate.

Congratulations to Venezuela on winning the Nobel Peace Prize. ❤️🇻🇪

Congratulations to the Toronto Blue Jays and lol to the New York Yankees.

Thank you Blue Jays

What We Are Fighting For https://www.cupw.ca/en/what-we-are-fighting #SupportCUPW #canlab #cdnpoli @CanadianLabour

Tom and I are putting all future episodes of You Can't Win on the free public RSS feed. You can support the pod on Patreon for $1/month (or more), which also gets you access to the Discord and over 300 old Premium episodes but otherwise it'll be free.

I tried to drop out of this because of the war or whatever but my assistant Matthew said it's locked in. I'll be performing my controversial one-man show "You Have Been Warned" and donating 10% of the proceeds to Doctors Without Borders. Last thing I'll say about this.

The @nytimes.com Opinion Editor elections are coming up on Tuesday November 4th 2025. This election there are 165 positions open and eleven eligible parties advancing candidates. Go to the website to register to vote.

I insulted (told the truth about) Germans (which breaks German law and caused a suspension).

Three months until Christmas. Thinking of gift ideas. 💭🎁🎄

Happy Wednesday

Please pray for the Toronto Blue Jays baseball team. Do it instead of a loved one if necessary.

"By any means necessary" - Malcolm X.

I wish more places near me had ethiopian fajitas

Too much American news the past few weeks. Once in a while is fine.