Little Greenis
@durtmchurtt.bsky.social
📤 4742
📥 187
📝 939
Jerkules.
FRIEND: *eating* soda crackers aren’t too bad. ME: well, some of us are ok I guess.
1 day ago
0
4
2
reposted by
Little Greenis
josh (oldfriend99)
1 day ago
My dentist can do it all, from a simple cleaning to identifying my charred remains
25
3167
569
Gonna try a new pun on for sighs.
1 day ago
0
12
3
reposted by
Little Greenis
Mr. Bea Arthur, Batshit Crazy™️
over 2 years ago
“Sorry, I have to take this call." "That's a banana. And it's half eaten." *covers banana with hand "I don't tell you how to do business."
8
406
154
You’ll never convince me this piece of popcorn is a colonel.
3 days ago
2
15
4
reposted by
Little Greenis
DaddyJew
about 1 month ago
nice try your honor, but I too brought a gavel
11
1057
189
Kinda bullshit that only Phils get their own harmonic orchestras.
5 days ago
0
11
4
reposted by
Little Greenis
Seamus O'Flaugherty
6 months ago
This kinda sucks because I was well prepared to kick ass in a post apocalyptic hellscape in my 20s and now that I'm in my 50s I'm only suited to be a maniac warlord or reclusive enigmatic hermit who'll only help the resistance if they can convince me their motives are pure
19
345
84
reposted by
Little Greenis
Ygrene
over 1 year ago
i pause in the middle of the street fight, only to eat a handful of candy corn and then return to fighting, noticeably more powerful
6
287
55
[burglar breaks into my home] ME *recently started taking karate*: Hey asshole! Hold this board.
6 days ago
0
11
3
People all over the world fighting for land and bananas somehow have their own republic.
7 days ago
0
5
1
Stopped ingesting microplastics, this year I’m only eating macroplastics.
9 days ago
0
7
1
Once again a chick magnet has thrown off my chick compass.
9 days ago
0
24
5
In heaven, all pubs have a post to lean on beside every urinal.
10 days ago
0
7
2
If you solve these riddles three, you may try one piece of brie.
18 days ago
1
19
5
reposted by
Little Greenis
Dave Cactus
8 months ago
When a baby is about to be born, someone always has to boil water. It's for the baby's first hot dogs.
28
1427
334
reposted by
Little Greenis
Uncle Duke
19 days ago
BECOME UNGOVERNABLE
17
1093
219
If there are no Caucasian animals then explain Animal Crackers.
19 days ago
0
9
4
reposted by
Little Greenis
kate bush’s husband
20 days ago
Fuck it I don’t care anymore
108
8038
1799
reposted by
Little Greenis
Viktor Winetrout
about 1 year ago
New Year’s resolutions: 1) Eat healthier 2) Spend more time outdoors 3) Escape from the research facility
16
928
175
reposted by
Little Greenis
d.ly
about 1 year ago
child custody rap battle
67
2157
352
Whatever, I’ve had fancier feasts.
19 days ago
1
30
12
Your honour, I was driving a trailblazer, I was simply blazing a new trail. JUDGE: you drove through a petting zoo.
21 days ago
1
11
2
reposted by
Little Greenis
andy vs
21 days ago
You should be able to rev your shopping cart at people in the grocery store
41
1474
304
reposted by
Little Greenis
Greg the Miller
21 days ago
“eating well” lol have you heard of vitamins
2
110
42
reposted by
Little Greenis
Uncle Duke
22 days ago
as the prophecy foretold
36
1074
201
Showing my support to the LGTBQ community by switching to homo milk.
21 days ago
0
7
2
reposted by
Little Greenis
Pru
28 days ago
Jamiroquai when Jamiro vewwy sad
46
3251
699
reposted by
Little Greenis
Dropped Mike
about 1 year ago
me: don’t mind me, I’m just taking a gander petting zoo employee: please put the goose down
7
451
99
reposted by
Little Greenis
Jon Drake
about 1 year ago
Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you don’t know about. Attack them. Now they’re fighting two battles
20
2223
661
reposted by
Little Greenis
Jason, ex Inferis
about 1 month ago
no chatgpt for me, thanks. i will be asking Zoltar
14
878
151
[minding my p’s and q’s] p q q q p q p p q p q p p q 🤔
25 days ago
0
12
4
You telling me orcas poop? Whale shiiiiiittttt.
27 days ago
0
4
1
I’ll save this for later *puts hotdog behind my ear like a cigarette*
29 days ago
2
26
6
reposted by
Little Greenis
Dumb Beezie
about 1 month ago
I smoke weed on my porch to let the other weeds know what I’m capable of
4
195
56
reposted by
Little Greenis
Alex Blechman
29 days ago
Welcome to 60 Minutes. Our top story tonight is Snakes: Nature’s Spaghetti
33
2327
348
reposted by
Little Greenis
presentdad🙋🏻♂️
29 days ago
LITTLE LAMB: do you hear what i hear SHEPHERD BOY: holy shit a talking lamb
9
432
127
As I get older it’s getting harder and harder to shake AC/DC all night long.
about 1 month ago
2
27
8
➖➖➖has➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖and➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖to➖➖➖➖➖➖
about 1 month ago
1
9
1
reposted by
Little Greenis
DaddyJew
about 1 month ago
if you’re not wrapping presents for me, you’re wrapping them against me
6
200
73
reposted by
Little Greenis
Ray
about 1 month ago
That's it. I'm definitely not voting for Bill Clinton.
25
769
45
reposted by
Little Greenis
Robert Manchild
about 1 year ago
[Santa dislocating both shoulders to slither down your chimney]
6
231
57
If I win the lottery I’m gonna hire a skywriter to write “how do I land this thing?”
about 1 month ago
2
82
26
Why a guilty verdict and not a hearing loss?
about 1 month ago
0
14
4
Imagine having beef with Olive, the other reindeer.
about 1 month ago
0
1
1
reposted by
Little Greenis
Amish Super Model
about 1 year ago
“Alright, fine! I’ll put it on. But I swear to God, if the sleeves are too long, someone’s getting eaten!”
14
619
144
Look pal, if you don’t like my Subaru puns we can take this Outback.
about 1 month ago
3
24
7
reposted by
Little Greenis
It's Abby. Yep.
about 2 years ago
What idiot called that little narc Elf on the Shelf and not Police Navidad?
37
2860
821
reposted by
Little Greenis
Viktor Winetrout
about 1 month ago
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and a duck that does crimes
23
1048
242
ME: can I wear it out of the store? SALESPERSON: the condom?
about 1 month ago
1
34
12
Load more
feeds!
log in