100% can/will happen in the psych ward...

"You can't do that, it's illegal!" - they insisted, as they watched him repeatedly do that

You cannot call me friend if you've seen my butthole. It's immediately gotta be something else. "This my friend Candace" WHAT

I'm big but you could definitely kidnap me with titties as bait

If the kidnapper is busty she's said enough already

I have literally never said I was a good person

Nancy Reagan:

I hope the ladies with big foreheads are having the best Saturday morning as possible. You are appreciated & deserve extra love 🩵

Two controllers and a free game. We didn't know how good we had it.

Y’all don’t know…

Digable Planets released ‘Blowout Comb’ 31 years ago on October 18, 1994 | Listen to the album + revisit our tribute here: album.ink/DPBlowoutComb

Me: Every sandwich is an open-face sandwich unless you consume it rectally Date: Welp, I gotta work in the morning

If you see this, post a chef.

Peruvian chicken makes me want to visit Peru just off the strength of their bird cooking abilities

I am a procrastinator because nobody can tell me what to do including myself

Yall never had to deal with stems and seeds weed, and it shows.

Somebody is sad. Send them titties. Non-gendered. No binaries

Shoutout to the husky voiced women of the world. Like making sweet love to a tenor saxophone when you rub her the right way.

Yall ever put in gas behind the license plate?

Sometimes you need a deep cut to connect the dots 🤣

Just In Case was the song being discussed that sent me down that rabbit hole. Because "give me some before i go in case this street shit gets me killed tonight" is a wild as ask. Right up there with Louis begging Sharon "let's do it for our country" in Grease 2.

es·sen·tial [uh-sen-shuhl]; adjective: fundamentally important or necessary; indispensable album.ink/DHathawayLive

Salt and pepper chicks >>>>>>

I be trying to find a win of the day. Sometimes, my only win is I didn’t punch anyone in the face.

I’m this old. ::cabbage patch::

Sounds of #Shocktober on The Deuce #31daysofhorror #grindhouse www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVhd...

Just bought my mom some Tylenol. Fuck the police

this is my political affiliation now

Every areola is different and yet they're all amazing

Titties.

Loaded up

I just ate one of those Activia yogurts. It was good but am I bout to have gas?

The next big dating app should be chili based and called Who Farted Dot Com. If you can stand each other's chili farts you probably belong together.

Did anybody else have the XJ-900 Payless shoes growing up? With the hard rubber bottom that made it possible to slide even on concrete!

MC Lyte released ‘Eyes On This’ 36 years ago on October 3, 1989 | Revisit our tribute by here: album.ink/mclyteEOT

Happy 30th Anniversary to WC And The Maad Circle's second & final studio album ‘Curb Servin'’ originally released October 3, 1995 | Listen to the album + read our tribute by @j_ducker here: album.ink/WCMCcrbsrvn

Dan Quayle told a 12 yo at a spelling bee that he had misspelled the word potato and that the correct spelling was potatoe. P-o-t-a-t-o-e His political career never recovered. I miss those days when stupidity was a black mark and not a badge of honor.

If you have a self critical inner voice that abuses you then you should treat it accordingly and say “wow fuck off, bitch”

One sentence.

Talk ain't cheap, the shit is free.

ilcliterate

If museums are makin' you sad, maybe blame your great, great grandpa instead of the museums.

I make Black Dynamite Kung Fu sounds randomly throughout the day.

I have floaters now so I am sometimes ducking to avoid flying bugs that aren't really there. So sexy.

It's just my opinion but I don't think Donny Hathaway gets as much celebration because of his mental illness and murky circumstances of his death. His talent is undeniable so people give him that much