Rules for your half birthday: 1. Make it a big fucking deal 2. The whole day is about you 3. Don’t work 4. Buy yourself a cake 5. Drink wine in the middle of the day 6. Be completely delusional 7. Dance 8. Plan a fancy dinner 9. Buy yourself a present! 10. Make the rest of the year more awesome

Or it could be the wine cause y’all know I’m not a drinker.

We’re going to do cake and ice cream later. I’m like a toddler. It’s nap time. Lol.

Cheers! 😍

I’m using my Meta Glasses for pics and videos. So if it’s looking a little shaky, excuse my bobble head.

Made a extra sauce and added a lil honey peach wine.

HEB will steam your seafood for you. WE DOING IT!

I have to know what golden honey peach taste like.

Extra.

I mean she might be, but Janet can say what she wants over here.

Janet Jackson saying Beyonce ain’t better than Michael is hilarious. Cause hell yeah take up for your brother!

It’s gonna be a good ass day.

My dad is sending me half birthday money! I love a supporting Leo man. Lol he be with the shits right along with me.

I be caught up in the delusion that people want to actually do something nice for women.

Cause I know for a fact, right now, today ain’t nobody touching my vagina but the OBGYN.

Vagina massages used to be a medical treatment. This is not my first time hearing/reading this. Part of me feels like this is a violation and the other part of me is like, can it be done at the house? Lol. I’m conflicted.

Come stir the pot!

I’m bout to tell my man I have anxiety for no reason.

It’s hilarious to me that back in the day to treat anxiety they used to give women pussy massages. Can we roll that back? Lol

Hot flashes be having me take 2-3 showers a day. That clammy feelings is not ok.

On a lighter note. Today is my half birthday. I have activities planned that does not include me working. Because I took the day off to lollygag around town and do nice things for myself. 🙂

This why I hardly share pics. Bitches be weird af.

Don’t be using my pics as an example for your fucking bullshit.

Also, that lady using my pics to spark debate on if looks are better than qualifications. Bitch: I have 3 degrees. 25+ years of experience in my field. I don’t have a bullshit degree for the sake of having one + student loan debt. Play with your kids.

Don’t even get me started. I’d go on a whole tangent about some shit I don’t really care about for the sake of getting my intrusive thoughts out.

I’m not saying I’m only into luxury experiences, but I will spend my money on the best experiences and luxuries I can afford. This does not include me carrying my own table and chairs and bbq pit to an event. I could see it it was a beach party.

Don’t they have to bring their own table and chairs? Food? They are basically renting lawn space?

There is a book in this stack that I want.

Wild times.

Y’all remember when they interviewed his entire team and asked who they would keep away from their sister? As a team, collectively, one band and one sound, they moved as a unit when they all said, Steffon Diggs.

Somebody said Steffon is catching babies and not footballs and I accidentally laughed.

Don’t let me stress you out. I hate everyone. It’s not just you.

I already tried love. Thats also equally as insane.

Dating a broke man is fucking horrible.

Dudes be like, she didn’t love me when I was broke. Me: You’re right. What you gone do about it?

You gotta come pre packaged with your shit together.

I will not struggle with you. Or go through your personal financial hardships with you. That’s not my ministry.

If any man ask me for money I will stop talking to them. There won’t be any warnings. I’m just going to leave.

One time this man asked me for a gucci wallet for his birthday. We were not dating. Lol. I barely knew this guy. Immediately blocked. I’m not the sugar mama.

I don’t think straight men clean their ass good enough for me to consider the alternatives.

You ever find out one of your exes like to be pegged by women?

Sometimes, I wonder if Toni ever listened to any of Birdmans music. Like any song.

Someone designed a house for an Aries and it’s dark with all these wood tones. No color and shades if brown and yellow. This is not it. I’m just gonna let her think she know us. Lol. Cause what can I say? Absolutely not?

🤷🏽‍♀️

I need to be handled with care in every situation.

If you slap me imma beat your ass. I don’t care if you’re knee deep putting a bitch through a mattress. If you slap me, imma try to break your whole face.

I innocently scroll and be like ohhhhhh shit. It’s “hours”

I’m always caught off guard by the after dark skeets. I mean every single time.

People you may know that pops up really is the messiest thing on the internet.

I strongly believe the minute I think to make excuses for your behavior you’re not a good person.