Whatever! Fuck you!

I got 3 likes!! * deletes post

I think driving a Nissan Versa will help me get pussy

Might have sex tonight.. nervous as fuck

I got 2 likes!! I feel like I can be somebody

Huge shoutout to eggs, pancakes, hash browns, sweet tea.. love you guys

This guy cut me off but I decided to let it slide

I got 5 likes.. I really appreciate the love and support 👍

Fuck it!!! Walks to the mailbox naked

You’re more annoying than those ads on YouTube

Everything I touch turns to shit

Steps in dog shit keeps walking like nothing happened

Waits in the waiting room for 2 hours… sees the doctor for 45 seconds 👍

At the Dollar Store with my grandma

Strive to always be the person you are when you're wearing sunglasses.

Drinks one bottle of water.. * has to piss all fucking day

Yeah that car salesman tried to put the dick to me

Please make my sandwich with the end pieces of the bread

Just took my Christmas tree down

Stop calling my fucking phone, it’s not for that

That stupid run you do when a car let’s you cross the street

Fuck everyone on this motherfucker

I wonder how long it’ll take those Mexicans to build the…. “ Oh wow!! They’re done”

Huge fucking shoutout to pancakes!! Love you guys

At a Funeral…. Where’s the cake

Huge fucking shoutout to peach cobbler

At Walmart with my grandma

Guy who talks about not being on his phone all the time, on his phone, all the time.

[first day as a medic] me: what's your blood group? patient: b negative me: you're definitely gonna die

*interrupts your wedding vows* I don’t like potato salad

Kangaroos aren't real. They're just two UFC fighters in a trench coat.

Oh really??!! Your house is paid off??!! * Blocked

I look so fucking hot in my driver’s license picture

Mosquitoes never pick me to bite 😞

I got zero likes.. 👍

Can’t.. I have anger management class tomorrow

The fuck!! My iPhone not recognizing my face

Might have sex tonight… nervous as fuck

Hope my neighbor starts his leaf blower at 6:03am

Might take my Christmas tree down

Might rub one out