All bagels are inedible. Not fit for a raccoon.

Trent Reznor voice:

When your fav bar has 1/2 priced flies at happy hour.

Watching Crime 101 now (which is one of the best Heat knockoffs I’ve ever seen) and they just went Mark Ruffalo shirtless, getting dressed to a match cut of Chris Hemsworth getting dressed. Uncalled for!

I am no longer watching Primate because a few minutes ago my kid said [from the next room] “why is that chimp in the pool?” Bro was lowkey watching the movie.

Just started watching Primate. Im about 10 minutes in, nothing has even happened yet, and this chimp is inherently terrifying to me. Practical effects rule.

Teens have stopped drinking, fucking, and protesting.

The tournament is literally called “The Masters” in the year 2026. I’m not watching that shit.

Elders my ass. Hope you and your old ass buddies have this same anti-tax energy when it comes to things other than the library and public education.

The olds should be like the drilling crew roughnecks in Armageddon before they go to space. Live it up. Your ride is about over so soak it in. Definitely don’t concern yourself with the activities of the youths.

I went to get my kid out of the tub and he said “time for you to leave”.

How big can Stretch Armstrong get? (Via Reddit)

Who did this? 😭😒 #WNBA

Everyone who lives in Rochester, MN:

Fish fry, hot dish, and pizza with ranch dressing all about to be in the fancy book!

Since my scans came back clean and I am apparently no longer dying I have agreed to eat a vegetable next week.

I’d watch either.

When we got home he wanted to tell Boogie all about the dog he met and he showed him his card.

My ass is ready for jury duty.

I had to take him to an appt and he got to meet a therapy wolf.

I said we could go anywhere he wants. The park? The play area at the gym? A drive? Nope. Pancakes.

I’ve always wondered what ever made you think there was just one? I always assumed everywhere he’s ever been he was recorded doing something gross.

Whether the government shuts it down or it just shuts itself down because it’s being coded by a roomba Bluesky is my last stop. I ain’t rebuilding another social media life. Hanging my jersey in the rafters.

Amy Klobuchar, our Senator from the great state of Minnesota, will post pics later today from a ribbon cutting on a new 3M building with chemicals being dumped into a lake behind her.

Never a doubt. Just an absolute unit of a squad.

Wellness check on @joannepistonfan.bsky.social

This is as physical as a WNBA game. Hope the guys can handle it.

These officials are gonna get someone killed.

Dagger! I do not see a path for UConn.

I know Hurley is mad about the foul disparity (11-5) but they could easily have called twice as many on his guys.

Dan Hurley is literally going to poop himself screaming about the officials. If I was in that locker room I’d put on my headphones.

UConn has to steal a few possessions and try build a bit of a lead before the end of the half. Michigan won’t shoot 0% from distance the rest of the game.

Stop shooting those 3s, Michigan.

I am in the unenviable position of rooting for Michigan but I’m left with no other choice.

Nutella is gross. Leave that shit on the moon (if it’s even real).

Some good news. At least for me. My scans came back clear. They showed no signs of cancer. So my posts and life will continue.

I knew freaking North Carolina would come after Ben McCollum but he turned them down because he is a GENTLEMAN.

There’s something to be said for telling the world what you want.

Speak softly and get your ass whipped.

One of my favorite things my kid does is instead of saying how dare you he says “how you dare you?!” Now instead of saying you’ve got to be kidding me he says “you’re going to be kidding me!” It’s so funny to me and I’ll never correct him.

I slept til 7:30 I could pull a dogsled hell yeah

Michigan didn’t even shoot well. Don’t think they outrebounded them. Didn’t have their best player. Just better.

Hey, I went to college.

“He was waiting for Cadeau!” was brilliant and got no reaction from Raf & Clark. I see you, Ian!

Springfield, IL

What are the chances anyone from this Michigan team has EVER been to a class? 10%? Is that too high?

This is all Michigan. Just sit back and relax, fans. Arizona can’t beat you.

Welp this game is over. I hate Illinois but not as much as I hate abusive scumbag athletic departments like they’ve built at UConn.

Welp this game is over. I hate Illinois but not as much as I hate abusive scumbag athletic departments like they’ve built at UConn.

Take this down. What the fuck, Vulture.