What's the origin of all this "the left won't engage with AI" discourse? Like, from all the posts about it I can infer that someone somewhere has done a facile tweet or thinkpiece or suchlike, but I've not seen what the actual Thing is that everyone's dunking on.

NOOO LADS SLOW DOWN YOU'RE CURLING TOO FAST

I'm not normally one for wishlists but I added a few things to it on the Nintendo Store app. If something's on the wishlist it flags up when it goes on offer. Pleasantly surprised to find No Man's Sky on Switch 2 (which I probably would've bought anyway) has just gone to 60% off. The system works!

Imagine how miserable it must be having to pretend to like Kid Rock.

Starmer? I hardly know her!

We're wiping the floor with them. #curling

I'm now the owner of a Switch 2, my first console in 20 years. Thanks to some chicanery at Nintendo it took a month to arrive but now it's here, set up, and hot to go. However I don't have any games. What's good?

Something I don't get about the Epstein files is how everyone is all "Cant WAIT to see u,. I tresure our frendship!!!~". Like, who tf talks like that? Is it that I'm too emotionally distant w/ my homies to ever understand true comradeship? Or are the Epstein people just fucking weird?

❤️

3am: Yoga 4am: 1st workout 5am: Post-workout meal, shower 5.30am: AI-generate Linkedin article 6am: Breakfast 6.30am: Cryotherapy 7am: Hydrotherapy 8am: Aromatherapy 9am: Family time 9.05am: Meetings 12pm: Lunch 12.30pm: 2nd workout See the problem here? When am I supposed to fit in murdering?

When a British person is surprised to see a memorial hall

Absolutely phenomenal thread

SOMEONE CALL THE GUINNESS BOOK OF RECORDS. I have found the most middle class review ever on Ocado for Comte cheese. Steady yourselves for this Ready? You’re not even close to being ready

Donation number 74 in the bag. At 75 apparently I get a certificate.

If I were a little creature I would scurry into my burrow at the smallest sign of danger. What was that?? Hehehe missed me I’m in my burrow now

In the 2010s, the Icelandic tv station Channel 2 accidentally added subtitles from a gritty crime drama to an episode of Teletubbies. I have translated some of the highlights

TRUMP: honk honk honk, I'm a big goose. everyone tells me whenever I enter a room, that's the biggest goose I've ever seen and I say yes. I'm a big goose. in a good way. a lot of Somalians are small stupid gooses but I'm a big goose BBC NEWS: a disciplined Trump sticks to the script on the economy

If there's WW3 do you think we'll get the day off?

Q: What goes "Ha ha bonk"? A: French person laughing at a bank.

I know everyone loves Nintendo but their customer service is absolute dogshit. They keep telling me they've escalated my issue (presumably to this guy) and will email me. Nothing happens. So I chase them a few days later. They say they've escalated, will email me. Nothing happens. And so on.

There’s a double entendre contest so I’ve just entered your Dad.

That's the problem with the British Museum - eventually you run out of other people's mummies.

Gordon Ramsay's coming for dinner at my struggling restaurant. I could deep clean the kitchen, check the walk-in, and ensure my staff act professionally. But I'm so confident that he'll love the food, and respond exceptionally well to my hubris, that I think I'll just wing it instead. Wish me luck!

Best birthday present: my wife got ACTUAL SWEEP to record a personalised birthday message.

It's my birthday so you all have to give me £10. I don't make the rules.

Here’s this week’s cartoon for @sport.theguardian.com www.theguardian.com/football/pic...

Triumphant start to the year from Squires. That first panel is *chefs kiss*

When you play a back three And still lose to Grimsby That's Amorim When your team's lacking goals And you're criticised by Scholes That's Amorim Their formation lacks width How the fuck are they sixth? That's Amorim When you're 14 months in And they give you the bin That's Amorim!

Playing the new Football Manager and it's fine and all, but annoying how you keep getting bothered by other teams. Like every week it's all Chelsea (H) and Newcastle (A) and so on. Just leave me alone and let me manage the football. I'd be really good at it if they all just stopped interrupting.

I do too much doomscrolling. So in 2026, I'm taking up doomstrolling.

Q: What goes "Ha ha bonk"? A: French person laughing at a bank.

In what's now become an annual tradition, I've written another piece for The Gist about how and why I hate A.I. On a bubble about to burst, a future rotted to its core, and the limits of the Mrs Doyle Theory of artificial intelligence. www.thegist.ie/guest-gist-2...

Before the networks get busy I just want to say: good luck, we're all counting on you.

The most British post in existence

When you have a super cool secret hangout but then your STUPID YOUNGER BROTHER finds it and RUINS IT FOREVER

You can't even say "Merry Christmas" any more.

And a pa-rum-pum-pum-pum to you too, good Sir.

I actually haven’t heard of elf on a shelf you presumptuous bitch

TIMBER, HIS ARMS WIDE

That thing you're working on that needs to be done today? Just send an email at 5.29pm saying "Please find [The Thing] attached", but don't attach The Thing. Then stick your out of office on. That way it looks like you did it, and you've now got til next year to actually do it. The perfect crime.

Some thoughts on this thing, which I've seen pop up a lot of times today. I'm often confronted with nervous, insecure adolescent students who are early on their musical journeys, have been bitten by the bug a little and have now become intimidated by the idea that they expect something of…

A father and son are in a terrible car accident. Father dies at the scene and son is rushed to hospital. At hospital the surgeon walks in, looks at the patient and says 🧑‍⚕️: "I cannot operate on this boy." 🧑‍⚕️👩‍⚕️👨‍⚕️: "But doctor, why not?" ask colleagues. 🧑‍⚕️: "Because I am... 🤡🤡🤡 GREAT CLOWN PAGLIACCI🤡🤡🤡"

"And Tiny Tim, who did not die" = heartwarming, Christmassy. "And Tiny Tim, who would not die" = sinister, alarming.

"Listen, Roald, we *love* the story, it's clearly another winner, but we just... look, we just feel it might be wise if the F stood for 'Friendly' instead?"

Is it usual to write articles using "Mom! Dad! Bart's DEAD!" sentence structure?

In the episode where Homer adopts a pet lobster it is called Mr Pinchy. In the European French version of The Simpsons, Mr Pinchy is instead called Homard Simpson (homard means lobster in French)

gravy boats imply the existence of gravy maritime law