Hey if I bottom this weekend I'll have completed the gay full house within the first two weeks of the month

i miss the bathhouse

spooky weekend vibes I don't have a pic but the hookup asked if I wanted to get dinner with him some time 😨

I definitely know what all of these words mean individually

Lies, all of it! I'm as circumcised as they come and I hardly ever think about trains!!

Pornyes porno pornmaybe, I don't pornknow, can your repeat the pornquestion?🎵

Shakin it too much at the urinal, call that a gateway tug

Power BI this Power BI that why don’t you explain why you’re Power By Yourself

Good morning from the Godzilla tree

Good morning, sunshines 🌅

Hold up 3 fingers... Why do you hold down your pinky with your thumb? Where do you think it's gonna go?? Free the pinky!!!

Omg what if we kissed 😳 under one of those trees that smells like cum 🙈

Woah I can't believe it!

Me: Uhhhm 😳 I'll have what SHE'S having 😂😂😂 Waiter: She's having the eggplant parm. Me: Ah ok. Yes I'll have the eggplant parm

In my defense I was high when I wrote this so it doesn't count

Where my uncut fall gays at, I need some of that PSL dickcheese

Quick where are the Bomb Flowers???

I've been on this app too much, at first glance I thought my coworker wrote "Fill Hole"

Just bein' a Goof today

Don't forget to take your gay supplements: glucosaqueen, fagnesium, brotein powder, vitamin gay, twinko biloba,

Cruising be like

Uncut is short for Uncle Cut

Who's up lifeing their of a showgirl

"Domestic Economic Terrorism" killed me lmfao Do these fucking bootlickers want a free market or not?!

Omg look who was in my raid group!! 🤩

Someone needs to research what's going on at Costco every Saturday morning because

Startup gays reinventing standard blowjobs:

Petition to officially name the hair on a man's lower back a "Tramp Patch"

I used to make up songs to sing to Milo, one of them was based on Hero by Family of the Year 🎵Let me go, I don't want to be your Milo, I don't want to be a big dog, Just wanna bark with everyone else🎵

I've had sex with all 17 types of men AMA

Oh yeah well if summer is over then how come I stink now more than ever? Checkmate, atheists

Hey, what's up foolish mortals,

My sex life is like tetris: I'm quite good at it, but don't often partake 😅

My sex life is like Tetris, as soon as I find the perfect hole to slide my long straight brick into they immediately disappear

It's time to get spooky @twitchnick.bsky.social

Who wants to go to the park with me after work and assign numbers to the men we see

National Treasure Trail

Spell your name with movie titles (Gay Porn Edition) N – Night of the Giving Head A – American Booty T – Throbbin' Hood H – Humped Back at Notre Dame A – A Cockwork Orgy N – National Treasure but it's gay

Happy Hawktuahber

Fuck did anyone remember to wake up Billie Joe Armstrong??

Post your animal crossing persona

Stop what you're doing, grab a bottle of water, go into the bathroom and drink it while looking in the mirror Do your eyebrows go up a little every time you swallow? Y/N

Asking all my coworkers if it smells like upnathanyouvebeenreallyquiettodayistheresomethingonyourmind in here

Man there are so many retro gamers on dating apps these days. It seems like everyone is looking for a DS relationship

What's your sign?

Got a haircut—gay powers restored! Haha just something I thought of, who knows maybe it'll catch on