the end of the drizzilicious bag is the best i'm tipping it back like the fleshlight when i finish

When the full blast jet stream from the bidet hits your hole just right and you feel it pass your inner sphincter

force feeding bottoms broccoli and chia seeds because they can't douche anymore

me and oomf gossiping like

Interview ready

me when i walk because these cheeks are too thicc and juicy:

accidentally ate only 1200 calories yesterday

atheists talking about god:

good morning @bostongayboy.bsky.social

the bgb music video is incredible but i'll save it for tomorrow since it's late

hey bgb i finished ur song

send me your favorite @bostongayboy.bsky.social skeets

masochist humpty dumpty:

hey @lerrrgan.bsky.social why are you like this

necrophiliacs:

Official hump day post today inspired by oomf

hey @lerrrgan.bsky.social gurl just ziptie it

kinda wanna find all of @lerrrgan.bsky.social's shitposts and turn them into a song

Watching the solicitors on my doorbell cam like

Wednesday ✅

me at wing stop:

Fuck it. #HumpDay on main

Back pump

Post workout snacc

Gym fit today

2 minutes left on the treadmill and the machine I need is open Kinda nervous

jigsaw when the timer has 2 seconds left:

me and jigsaw looking at each other waiting for the timer to run out because I'm not cutting out my eye to get the key to the reverse beartrap

omg @dnaforever.bsky.social just sent me $86,398

Just got the most handsome pic from @dnaforever.bsky.social

It's been raining for the past 2 days so I'm making hot chocolate 😊

when you're eating edamame and it has just the right amount of glyphosate

just saw the sexiest @lerrrgan.bsky.social beard pic

Just saw the cutest @joodlehead.bsky.social selfie

ariana grande:

My job asked for people to do the women's heart health watermelon challenge and I said I'd do it 🫪

Hit my protein goal today but then I was asked to leave the sperm bank

what do lea michele and matilda have in common? nothing because matilda can read

Forgot I have to stay an extra hour and a half at work today

so bad

"how did you gain weight?” because i

someone who just smelled their own fart and liked it:

I wish I could block a TikTok sound

I'm gonna make this thescranline.com/opera-cake/

My state just shot up the ranks and now has the third highest cost of living in the US