so alarming when my son leaves his Porg stuffie in the living room

going to start adding "reply STOP to stop" in my messages to the group chat. just to provide that option

“It’s January Second: Day One Of Zohran Mamdani’s New York” anagrams to:

the sad li'l wheels going pfft-pfft-pfft in barely a WHISPER of snow: glorious

I used to think X had no public utility but it is developing into some sort of monument to billionaire hubris. It's a living museum of paranoiac mania, a Grey Gardens situation.

What does it mean when your doctors keep insisting you redo the cognitive exam

Slow Horses! as good as y’all said

I love love love this selectively mute platypus

HE'S SHOWING YOU HOW TO DO IT. HE'S GIVING YOU THE BLUEPRINT!! AND HES SHOWING US WE DON'T HAVE TO ACCEPT ANYTHING LESS THAN EXACTLY THIS

decided to start the x-files with our kids! am here to report that it’s great for a tween girl and terrifying to an 8yo boy

on second thought perhaps making gyoza, empanadas, soft pretzels and a lavash pizza was too ambitious lol

Maybe It Will Happen in January.

it’s the 😑 most wonderful time of the year 😑

man I don’t think any television show has made me laugh as hard as the final two episodes of the studio

oh man

My favourite cross-linguistic homophone (a word in one language that sounds the same as a word from another language) is the Dutch word for a squirrel, eekhoorn, which is pronounced pretty much the same as the English word "acorn" (that squirrels of course love to eat).

had no interest in Fallout until a good friend described it as, and i quote, "MacLachlan and Goggins just showing out and chewing scenes" and now i think i'm gonna have to watch

two kinds of renaissance art: 1. has seen a lion 2. has not seen a lion

people love to yell at a queer woman from Missouri who gained early fame and trust by making other queer Missouri folks feel heard and safe

my 8yo is dancing perilously close to an IP infringement

Guy whose only frame of reference for understanding society is the movie Beethoven: Getting a lot of not-Beethoven vibes from this

totally redoing my work organization system for 2026 will certainly not be a thing i regret!

good news: making street corn this evening bad news: have had "street corn" — to the tune of "fight song" — on a loop in my head all day

Remember: When Tylenol was poisoned *by an outsider* and killed people, the company recalled all their products & redesigned them. When Intel’s Pentium had a bug so obscure it affected 1 in _9 billion_ long division calculations, they recalled their chips. ChatGPT was made deadly *by its team*.

whewf

two conversations happening all over oklahoma this week: 1. hottest christmas week in living memory, 30 degrees over seasonal average 2. hey hey, gas under two bucks a gallon

Thinking about the airplay of this song in my white working class hometown in the 1980s. How it spoke to a lot of people’s imaginations. How it might have, in its original, moved those imaginations.

Logging onto this app is like logging into a parallel universe, the universe where everyone reads the news

my 8yo son is so mad that we’re listening to lorde on the drive home. sorry man lol

i have sent this to so many people. none of whom should. i am NOT saying that.

Found a bookstore that stocks your novels

Thank you thank you thank you!! 😊 Re: Welles—He punches down. A lot. That alone removes him from the roster of effective protest musicians. Listeners need to step away from their yt middle-class ways to hear that, though.

this also applied to the "Gintars" episode of brooklyn 99. what a guy. i love ike despite him being my own specific trickster figure

i will see ike barinholtz 100 times, and 100 times i will say “oh! remind me of that guy’s name?”

in 2026, please do not speak to me any more about protein.

Zach Cregger was clearly forged in the fires of the X-Files (complimentary beyond measure)

HOLY SHIT

ok finally time to watch Weapons

playing LEGO Worlds with my 8yo. diagnosis: FUN

his 2 modes (very regal and very dumb)

ok tomorrow night I’m gonna start the gay hockey show

IT FINALLY HAPPENED I AM ON A PLANE WITH A BABY WHO SAYS “HI” TO EVERYONE AS HE GOES DOWN THE AISLE

oh man i’m feeling REALLY good about these pecan gooey butter blondies

Santa doesn't need to go down chimneys but he does because it soots him

LM◼️◼️O

my best friend gave my kids these cocoa snowmen and i will be documenting their demise (lovingly)

one lesser awful thing about the Epstein files is that genuine crimes against a huge number of children are being morphed into fuel for the influencer industrial complex who don't care about truth or accuracy and just want grist for the content mills

i don't know if i've ever felt more proud of a stranger* *just saw a squirrel with an entire apple in its mouth

I like how deeply committed the us is to putting on the worst world cup of all time: ad breaks in the matches, tickets for 50,000 dollars, shitty 30 minute halftime show. it's going to be like, the farewell party for the american century with all the symptoms of national decline put together

it’s really fucking cool to see people working outside the system to expose the hacks running all of our crumbling institutions