Once Pilot invents a 0.6mm pen, it's over for you bitches

english isn't for cowards. if you're not saying 'torpify,' that's a skill issue. there's no Académie Française telling you what to do. if you try to type 'pallific' and freak out when you see a little red underline, maybe you're not ready to roll with the big dogs.

¿El amor? ¿En este tiempo del cólera?

I'm Clavicular, and this is 60 Minutes

Surely, if I buy five almost-perfect bags, I will somehow have one perfect bag

Elders

How did the hippie IT guy lose his job? He got phished tickets

Guy with AI psychosis and his girlfriend who wants TV characters to look at the camera and say "what I'm doing is wrong"

If the Bari be Weiss, oh buddy, scheisse

You live in NYC, jackass.

“The only thing worth writing about is the human heart in conflict with itself” — William Faulkner

Here’s a photo I took 6 years ago today called Society Nowadays

there are only six figures with entire wikipedia articles specifically devoted to their status as a gay icon

Why did they call it a production of Dorian Gray and not "Too Many Snooks"

If you told me this was a list of SCP page nicknames, I wouldn't blink an eye

[Paul McCartney voice] Baby you're a paralegal

listening to Fugazi and recognizing bits from the Weird Al Alternative Polka

Babysitter has informed the families we need an Ice Cream Truck Policy

[to zarathustra] now your spraching my language

Introducing @darkertimes.bsky.social - a new worker-owned website for cultural criticism about all things horror! www.darkertimes.com

I love you

tried to get into Wishbone but every episode just felt like a commercial for another one of this dog's books which, let's face it, aren't exactly what you'd call classics

Got cucked (Macbook told me I'm not the administrator)

They should have loaner sweaters in all the cafes

Matrix soundtrack still rips, and every song is from an album with a naked lady on the cover

I'm going to become the Juster

the joke's been done before obv, but his delivery is so good (work) lmao

A cross-body tote would fix me

Opened Gmail in a second tab to avoid tabbing all the way back

Interview with the vampire 2nd interview with the vampire Just circling back with the vampire Final interview with the vampire Hiring the vampire Probation period with the vampire Everyone’s going in on a card for Geoff, it’s his birthday on Saturday but we’ll do a party on Friday with the Vampire

ETHICAL PHILOSOPHERS SETTLING THE CHECK: What do we owe each other

a gross violation of the Honda Accord

the wikipedia image for sexual roleplay is making my lose my mind

Foursquare helped me hang out with my equally dork-ass friends

Devastating that the Staunton chess pieces are in fact better than their varied predecessors

- Baptist school - Hitchhiker's - Gawker - Early issue of Adbusters - Doctor Demento - Summer job selling Cutco

What does a bicycle shed? Yak shaving

one of my favorite little quirks which I think is sorta native to bluesky is seeing the last two replies of what is clearly a long increasingly acerbic back and forth ending in competing versions of “And thus I say good day to you sir!!!” but neither party will let the other get the last one in

WATERSHIP DOWN (1978)

if I were a prisoner who had a dilemma it would be "how do I break out of this prison"

Never meet your heroes.

Get in

I wish Elon Musk a mostly successful Starship rocket flight

I have no mouth and I must hum at noon

On Vulture Airlines they still let you do one carrion bag for free

any time revenue is reported

I'm on here instead of transcribing this like I'm supposed to