“They’re legal because we say so” is a confession

Is it a good sign when you have to specify that the investigation into sex crimes should include your political enemies but not you?

Fingers crossed this movie chronicles the making of 2001’s THE SCORE, but with the actual Miss Piggy directing.

My dad knew Cheney since he was fords chief of staff and would always say “i liked him then. Idk what the hell happened” In the run up to the second Iraq war my dad wrote an article comparing it to the gulf of Tonkin and Cheney himself made sure my father was fired from his gov job Anyway he’s dead

it's time for journos to start asking Johnson meta questions "Speaker, on 5 occasions last week you said 'I haven't seen it' when asked about news events w/big implications for public policy. Do you ever read the news, and do you agree it's problematic for the Speaker to be so woefully uninformed?"

Let’s be clear, most EBT users are white. The reason he’s specifically lying about “weaves” and we’ve seen so many AI fakes of Black women ranting about food stamps is they need to make BW the face EBT because they know many Americans don’t care if Black people suffer, and some actually wish for it.

Kash Patel was angry about his publicly-available jet logs indicating he’d flown to see his musician girlfriend perform so he forced out a senior FBI official overseeing aviation, Bloomberg reports news.bloomberglaw.com/us-law-week/...

Somebody’s yard has a skull throne where kids can climb up and tell Satan what they want for Halloween. I love you, Burbank.

Happy Halloween from a crow eating In n Out from the dumpster by my house.

Can you imagine if Republicans ever talked this way about all of the government money funneled to billionaires, "They're just buying a third yacht. They're building bigger bunkers. Yes, that's an actual study."

Donald Trump Jr. in 2021: “Those Hunter no-show no-experience board seats didn’t come without an expected return!” Donald Trump Jr. in 2024: Gets $2.8M in stock for joining an advisory board that didn't exist until he joined it. New: me, for @forbes.com 1/

honestly the only piece worth reading on the platner situation. @tressiemcphd.bsky.social is absolutely cooking here. (gift link)

If you can, please support a local food bank today. The need is urgent. Find one near you here: www.feedingamerica.org/find-your-lo...

AND THEN WHAT HAPPENED

Every Republican on the Sunday shows should be forced to watch the Air Feces One video and then be asked, “Is the President sane?”

notice the general mood of the timeline? how everyone is in a good mood and there’s a lot less misery and dooming? how there’s a lot of “we’re going to beat these assholes”? anyway that’s why these events are important

Even my protest signs are overwritten.

Genuinely inspiring that a 75-year-old man still thinks it’d be funny to draw a pteranodon’s colossal stream of poop sloshing down the side of a guy’s house. And that he’s right.

MSNBC Grandmas in Skechers seamlessly reclaiming the frog from 4chan Nazis in about six weeks has gotta be the political upset of the century.

can you imagine just sitting down to plan this and not feeling any shame or hesitation. seeing jane goodall on the tv as you’re doing it and how her thing was gorillas and yours is getting ready to deport a guy who’s been wrongly imprisoned since reagan’s first term

I think I may have finally done it. I may be the actual oldest person at this show.

No. Thank you for asking.

These people are evil. Never stop saying so. Don’t be intimidated into shutting up.

I really like these fellas from Melbourne, Australia who happen to be playing their first Los Angeles gig tomorrow night if anybody want to come join me. Radio Free Alice - “Waste of Space”

Praying this Jeremy Day finds you all well, and I know what I’m wishing for when I blow out my Jeremies.

Federal officer blasts chemical spray into vocal but nonviolent Portland protester, video shows The interaction illustrates how federal law enforcement officers do use aggressive tactics against protesters who yell and needle officers but don’t appear to present clear physical threats.

this is a GOOD speech

"Rodrick Johnson, 67, is one of many residents who were detained by federal agents during the South Shore raid. A U.S. citizen, he said agents broke through his door and dragged him out in zip ties."

When Trump threatens to nix funding to NYC if Zohran Mamdani wins, it only helps Zohran. It inflates the Trump threat, positions Zohran as a fighter for NYC against Trump, and pushes Cuomo into the role of Trump stooge. There's a lesson here for Dems. New from me: newrepublic.com/article/2011...

New Orleans has had the fewest murders this year since 1970. Carjackings are down 80% relative to 2022, vehicle burglaries are down 70%, shootings are down 63%. This is a wholly unnecessary stunt that will hurt local businesses.

Indie director Barbara Marques has been kidnapped by ICE. She is legally married to a U.S. citizen & was at a green card mtg when she was abducted and prevented from seeing her lawyer. Her husband Tucker May does not know where she is. Please spread the word so he can find her /1

It took just three days to get Sinclair to back down, and what it got in exchange for agreeing to put Kimmel back on the air was...nothing. This is not what happens every time you stand up to a bully, but if you don't fight back, you'll never know if you would have won.

APRIL - 1805 NAPOLEON IS MASTER OF EUROPE ONLY THE BRITISH FLEET STANDS BEFORE HIM THERE IS NOTHING IN NAVAL LAW STATING THAT A GOLDEN RETRIEVER CANNOT SERVE HIS MAJESTY AS CAPTAIN OCEANS ARE NOW BATTLEFIELDS

BREAKING: Chicken Pox caused by Vicks Vap-o-Rub: White House BREAKING: Astigmatism caused by chewable vitamins and parental failure to invest in Trump Coin: NIH BREAKING: Havana Syndrome caused by component of Tito’s: CIA BREAKING: Red hair caused by potato consumption: Marine Corps

“Why aren’t you arresting my political enemies faster?” is a hell of a thing to ask as another story about excusing your political allies drops.

It’s astonishing and scary to watch because generally when Trump meets resistance he eventually moves on — he doesn’t want to be seen taking the L. He tests the fences and goes away. Instead here, he tests the fences and they just… take the fences down for him.

Not one dollar to Disney. It ain’t much, but it’s what I got.

he was a champion of free speech and if you disagree youre under arrest

The New Yorker asked me “how bad” today’s Supreme Court ruling was. I boiled it down to one paragraph: link.newyorker.com/view/5bda429...

basically trump’s “If I Did It”

Nobody has ever told on himself more only to have so many people pretend they didn’t hear it.

The Supreme Court bans affirmative action in university admissions but is okay with racial profiling on American streets. That pretty much sums up white supremacy--heads I win, tails you lose, all legal.

SCOTUS: considering race as one factor in a college applicant's file is blatantly unconstitutional ALSO SCOTUS: considering race as one factor in targeting whom to detain and deport is cool cool cool

any word on this

I’m visiting a friend at a senior facility and this is the very loud conversation in the TV room right now: I don’t know what it is! Is it a horse movie? A people drama? Cause it’s just called “Nope,” that doesn’t help. Talk about boring.

The “problem” with vaccines? They so effective at preventing deaths that they create generations of people that question whether disease was a problem in the first place because they have never experienced the horrors of a world without vaccines.

What a cursed sentence (gift link) “The A.I. companies selected to oversee the program would have a strong financial incentive to deny claims. Medicare plans to pay them a share of the savings generated from rejections.”

According to federal data, 13 of the top 20 cities in homicide rates have Republican governors. None of those cities are Chicago. 8 of the top 10 states in homicide rates are led by Republicans. None of those states are Illinois. And yet Trump is sending troops here.