The dick sucking factory is in crisis. The tariffs have made dicks twice as expensive to import. All the best dick suckers want a "living wage" nowadays and have quit to start cottage industry penis stimulation businesses. Congress promised a bailout but it went to the ass eating lobbies instead.

only a true warfighter

Always wonderful to bump into my old friend Daniel Radcliffe!

It was though

Printing this out at home and leaving it blutac to the staff kitchenette cabinet right next to the poster about the company's mental health support policy. Id print it at work but I don't want the heat.

Like without exaggeration, this feels like as close to a jigsaw trap you can get without actually breaking the law.

My friend discovering why their opah emigrated with next to nothing in the middle forties from central Europe. Also the probable cause to why he was a violent alcoholic who never spoke about the old country

Forgetting that I had a jab two days ago and being surprised I feel lucidly hungover

"They do lack something in sophistication"

It is spooky, so many pointing fingers and severed hands.

so then who was the dead kid found inside the ramsey house?

Calling dudes sire was just medieval English daddy, and every instance depicted in fiction or historical reenactment should be viewed through that lens.

he looks like tumblr daddy dom severus snape. he looks like a greyhound found a magic wig that granted it the power of speech and joined the CIA. he looks like modern day AU kylo ren with a wasting disease

Its kinda fun feeling the immune system kick in after a vaccination, knowing what it is that caused it and anticipating it. Abstracted observing the feelings of fatigue and ache happening

commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Bi... The existence-centipede

Turns out I'm not a very good cardiac surgeon

I said we should use landlords as fire fuel to deal with the cold winter killing pensioners

😍 look at it! so cute

Crashout

Looks like vaccination back on the menu boys

Liberty Balboa is BACK

I guess I won't get vaccinated then.

Over the years, descriptions of the plane present it as gradually decaying. These sightings have sometimes preceded aviation accidents in the area. Retired air traffic controllers claim to have heard radio interference in the 121.50 MHz band, reserved for emergencies, around "ghost plane" reports.

On June 2, 1991, flight 283 from LA to Newark lost all contact with ATC. The aircraft never landed, and no remains were found. Ever since, rumors of a "ghost plane" have spread among aviation enthusiasts, who claim to have seen flight 283 attempting to land at airports across the world.

When I get my flu jab

Dining is both a communal activity and competitive pursuit. Here, Mzinga, Kerrio, and Nyambeni alternate between picking their own… and sampling their neighbour's right from their mouth! As soon as Talek and the other littles realised they had a bounty of tasty branches, they whizzed over.

🫡🙃

End of the day Mo knows it’s time for sleep and dreamies

Me before I huck a cobra at a bundle of C4

Went to The Museum of Neutral History, there was fuck all in there

It fucking chilly

Man the ending made me so mad

confused netflix producer getting a pitch from tim burton:

my favorite subgenre of Halloween decoration is “skeleton of things that absolutely do not have skeletons”

One millionaire in particular today apparently

Reaching the point of the year where it's darker in the mornings and colder in the mornings. This is a time where the time skip ability of morning snooze is at its most powerful.

BREAKING: The Donald Trump sock puppet has been assassinated.

President Trump horrifies the audience with an impression of Charlie Kirk dying. The audio has been cut by arena staff. We will return to coverage when the impression ends. #WeAreAllChappie

it’s always sashimi and never sashiWE☹️

Fucking upper class twit of the year fucking face, shame they couldn't capture it in this painting

God I hope it's ADHD and it's treatable because getting an easy to reply toa message from my dad about planning on catching a thing I want to do then having my brain go 'oh no that's too scary, go crochet a baby's funeral shroud instead' sucks. Took me two days to reply! Smdh

Flash emulators just aren't that good

what movie do you consider perfect? I talk about it often, but this movie is basically impossible

Last year around this time I tried to make festive “ghost meatballs” and my kid STILL talks about them nailed it!