Here. Something besides a fucking bird.

Bookmarks are for quitters.

let’s go camping in a fancy hotel

maintaining an existence on a shoestring* *perpetually lacking energy

sticks and stones may break my bones but cilantro will never hurt me

Please stop hating people for no reason. There are plenty of real reasons to hate then once you get to know them.

Don’t tell me about your problems. I’ve had ‘Papa don’t preach’ stuck in my head for two days.

If we knew all the codes we could get all the messages and maybe get something out of everything but instead we evolved how to get ahead of ourselves I meant to just tap out sweet morse code nothings

Blueskys the funniest shit cause if you scroll to the discover tab you'll see feral goblin shortstack porn right next to a post thats like "its your civil duty to watch Colbert"

He was clocking me. A tenth of a second later, he was gone.

I posted and am awaiting thy dopamine.

Me - existing America - that’ll be $23.99 please

Sunday redux. It’s a myth and a vibe.

If I were giving a commencement speech I simply wouldn’t be an elitist fuckwit

Being in a bubble is fine. Just ask Glinda, the witch that was good.

I can’t decide if the word ‘clatter’ is onomatopoeia. I’ve been thinking about this for three days.

I bought a new ceramic-lined tumbler today and maybe I will get my life in order after all

If my kung fu was a little bit better, the drifter life would be for me

My father was a lounge lizard. I started singing with him when I was 3. He'd shill me out for tips. I'm sure that's fine.

Vaccines aren’t controversial. You’re just a fucking idiot.

I’m sick of Seth Rogen’s shit.

When the weather gets in your head it's not too late it's too early. Careless, read the report for the wrong mind, itching to be smug about mental tarps. Go outside ok, but not like physically without a tarp

Would be nice to have just half the confidence of this HOA police lady walking the perimeter of everyone’s property with her clipboard for her quarterly inspection

oh sure when the baby takes a couple wobbly steps it is a big deal but when i do it i’ve “had too much to drink”

Fuck is the single greatest word in the English language.

You learn a lot about a person when they take a bite of food that’s hotter than they were expecting.

Breathing in an air of understanding, but I can feel something else too that makes less sensing. A detachment allergy. Just great I'm supposed to care outside later

Relax. Nothing matters.

You can just shout "my car's here" and run out of most social situations

The one from yesterday adjusted for brightness and exposure.

My hands remember.

Another asshole, a Song Sparrow.

Making daisy chains and drenching myself in sunshine, if you even care

Liking ketchup on hot dogs is a blockable offense.

This little asshole has a piercing call.

Writing tip: Before submitting your manuscript, read it aloud to yourself from beginning to end. Then go to the refrigerator and open its door. If the manuscript is good, all the potatoes will have turned into birds who fly out singing your name.

My brain needs tabs so I don't lose thoughts

The first time a hug is mentioned by bare traces of physics it is hardly a footnote in the day of some vibrations "relatively low waves of us, uncreative, and a tree fell to lighten a rock like c'mere. It won't work"

I honestly dislike birds. Just having fun finding the little bastards. And I guess they’re cute or whatever.

This Tufted Titmouse was hungry.

my gf and I can't agree on vacation spots. she wants to go to the Bahamas, and I want to leave the solar system