BeTheCookie
@bethecookie.bsky.social
📤 426
📥 419
📝 187
Possibly not a cookie, but definitely a Cookie
pinned post!
You (boorish, uneducated): I see a woodchuck. Me (refined, erudite): Ah yes, a forestcharles.
8 months ago
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BeTheCookie
Lee Harvey (Inevitable Decline Era)
about 8 hours ago
Yeah, well I've been on a Jet3 holiday, Maureen
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Now would be a great time for some of those FBI redactors to start leaking details anonymously.
about 15 hours ago
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BeTheCookie
☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
about 16 hours ago
Missed Connection: Years of Entropic Decay and General Neglect I met you in a nameless empty void. We were assigned a temporal bond that eroded with time and distance, unraveling slowly by the grind of daily life.
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BeTheCookie
Cosmically Funny
about 16 hours ago
If the Northern Lights and Southern Lights touch at the equator, all of the ghosts will eacape.
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BeTheCookie
Cosmically Funny
about 16 hours ago
I hope some day I have all of the creative ingenuity of the person who named the waterfall.
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That scene in Oh Brother, Whee Art Thou? Where they literally ride the guy out of town on a rail, but it is the result of the Epstein Files being released.
about 15 hours ago
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BeTheCookie
Cosmically Funny
about 15 hours ago
The number of once in a lifetime events I have witnessed or experienced is statically improbable.
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That Adam Sandler movie where he has a remote control to fast forward his life through the boring parts, but I just use it to get to the spot where the Epstein Files hit home for some big orange dill weed.
about 15 hours ago
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BeTheCookie
🅿️rofessor Kiosk 💊 🦃
1 day ago
no no the toymaker is geppetto pinocchio is geppetto’s monster
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BeTheCookie
Boricuabc2
1 day ago
The EPSTEIN FILES are NOT a political thing. THEY ARE A CRIMINAL THING. Know the difference.
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BeTheCookie
PAM!
1 day ago
Awoken by the unmistakable sound of lime sherbet releasing from its container into a waiting 7up filled punch bowl.
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BeTheCookie
Miss Havishambles
1 day ago
The aurora borealis is the new beaver moon.
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BeTheCookie
☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
2 days ago
Excuses are just echoes of future regrets, haunting you for the choices you failed to make.
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BeTheCookie
Wikibara. 🎪🎠 One of a set of one.🎠🎪
3 days ago
This meeting could have been an ominous portent viewed by a skilled haruspex.
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BeTheCookie
Cosmically Funny
3 days ago
Not only should Schumer be removed from his leadership role, he should face a class action suit by all of the people who suffered for the more than a month of the shutdown that he betrayed.
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Times are hard, but just remember that matronly figure who takes away the rubbish is a garbage ma’am.
3 days ago
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BeTheCookie
Miss Havishambles
3 days ago
Nopevember
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BeTheCookie
PAM!
4 days ago
Alls I need is someone to pet me and give me a snack to keep me occupied while you clean out my closet and then a TREAT for having such a clean closet!
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BeTheCookie
Lizzy
4 days ago
As a semi-sane person I had no idea I'd be yelling at my microwave and dryer this often
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BeTheCookie
BooBooKitty
4 days ago
Reverse clowngirl, so I can honk your balls
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BeTheCookie
Cosmically Funny
4 days ago
Deerios: Venison cereal
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BeTheCookie
Cosmically Funny
6 days ago
The pubes barber can really cut a rug.
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BeTheCookie
Lee Harvey (Inevitable Decline Era)
6 days ago
Sticky dairy product called AdCheeseive
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BeTheCookie
CrazyMyra
8 days ago
Didn't they also put decals on the White House interior glass doors so Dubya wouldn't walk into them?
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BeTheCookie
~garry~
8 days ago
why pay thousands for a therapist when you could just have a very intense conversation with a green goblin mask?
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A little Trumpcession, anyone?
8 days ago
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BeTheCookie
los 🦦
8 days ago
I once accidentally introduced two Gregs to each other
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BeTheCookie
10 days ago
Next on the menu: UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE!
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BeTheCookie
Jenny Doesn’t Know
10 days ago
I hope everyone has told the moon she’s beautiful tonight
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BeTheCookie
g.c.
10 days ago
whenever i have a can of dr pepper open i think "surely there's still some in that" whenever i have a can of water open i think "who tf drinks water from a can what is wrong with you dude"
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BeTheCookie
g.c.
10 days ago
say what you will, but i'm willing to bet you've never had a more sensual high five
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BeTheCookie
Jack
10 days ago
You know it's getting close to the end of the year when people (me) start saying "this side of Christmas" at work
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BeTheCookie
FEISTY😈
17 days ago
The Pledge of Allegiance should be more like’, “One nation, under fraud, clearly visible, with bribery and corruption for all.”
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BeTheCookie
Will
10 days ago
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BeTheCookie
Cosmically Funny
11 days ago
It's kinda scary how readily the people in charge admit they don't know anything about anything.
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BeTheCookie
Cosmically Funny
11 days ago
Voting should be required by law and be made as easy as possible.
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BeTheCookie
Jen(s) Mothra 🌼🍂🎉
11 days ago
everybody: go look at the moon! moon: *blushes*
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BeTheCookie
Amy
12 days ago
my productivity plan for all this darkness is to take a million naps
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A tidal wave of change ushers in a new administration that endeavors to undo all the harm inflicted from 2016 onwards in an attempt to actually make America great for perhaps the first time.
12 days ago
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BeTheCookie
Jesus and Butthead
12 days ago
Do you think instead of pardoning a turkey this Thanksgiving, he's going to have Don Jr. shoot one on the White House front lawn and then pardon him?
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BeTheCookie
Jen(s) Mothra 🌼🍂🎉
13 days ago
friendly reminder to set your clocks on fire tonight. time still isn't real!
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BeTheCookie
☢️ Captain Antagonist ☢️
13 days ago
A miniature anthropomorphic village kicks open the door to the anatomy saloon. The living villa stares daggers at me. I point at it in shock. “What’s a town like you doing inside a girl like this?!” I exclaim, providing relevant backstory as well as a punchline. Pause for laugh.
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BeTheCookie
Julie Lavender Menace
13 days ago
Give us Lord our daily fiber. Forgive us our diets' lack of fruits and vegetables. Save us from the leftover Halloween candy. Now and Later, Good & Plenty. Amen.
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I eat a lot of eggs because I fucking hate chickens.
13 days ago
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BeTheCookie
Ygrene
13 days ago
heard the egg nog crop this year is insane
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BeTheCookie
𝗱𝗿𝗼𝗷𝗼🌴
15 days ago
commanding the forces of darkness to do the dishes
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BeTheCookie
CrazyMyra
15 days ago
Trump brings the ding-dong to ping-pong diplomacy.
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BeTheCookie
𝗱𝗿𝗼𝗷𝗼🌴
16 days ago
the movie about fishing had such good casting
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BeTheCookie
Cosmically Funny
16 days ago
Meth is the opposite of youth, and that's why it gives you wrinkles and makes your teeth fall out.
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