Teamwork, Insight, Brutality, Male Enhancement, Hand-Shakefulness, and Play Hard.

Egg rolls are 500%, 600% bigger than they were under Sleepy Joe. Some say 80%, but there are two ways of calculating it. I say 500%, 600%. Big, beautiful egg rolls like nobody’s ever seen before.

Holy shit y’all this is not a drill, David Letterman and Stephen Colbert are dropping stuff off the rooftop of a building near the Ed Sullivan Theater!

AOC is right to say this, and anyone who attacks her for it is wrong. And AOC should under no circumstances be labeled antisemitic.

Any "leftist" taking MTG's side over AOC's is either an op or the biggest mark at the carnival

Marjorie Taylor Green isn’t a known antisemite because she criticizes Israel, she’s a known antisemite because of all the talk about secret cabals, Jewish space lasers, Great Replacement theory, and Jews killing Jesus. Hope this helps some leftists who are mad at AOC for being right about her today

Personally just me myself, I don’t want a vibrant and reconstituted Republican Party. I want a humiliated Republican Party bleeding out as a crowd of passersby stands idly by.

Today I officially went on long term medical leave and I'm devastated. My medical bills are drowning us. I'm having to take time from the job I love. On top of it all, I'm feeling just awful from medication side effects. Please SHARE and help us. In all honesty, I need this to explode. 🩷 #Cancer

7 dollar gas. Well, I guess I'll buy an electric car. Oh those are 60 thousand dollars? Well at least electricity is cheap. Oh the government won't build solar panels because it's "Too transgender"? Well at least wages are going up. Oh the idea of jobs is fake now? Well at least everyone is happ

The left’s almost jocular response to Rudy Giuliani's illness stands in marked contrast to the somber tone adopted by Republicans in the wake of the death of Rob Reiner.

Speaking as someone who has written about aviation for 40+ years (and pilot for 30+), and speaking about someone with zero experience in or knowledge about aviation: Sean Duffy is Pete Hegseth without the hair gel. (Both have Fox/Reality TV background.)

Mother love. #Caturday

Name your top 15 TV shows ever, gut instincts only. Mad Men Law & Order The Americans The Pitt 30 Rock Designing Women Seinfeld GBBO Mary Tyler Moore Show Buffy the Vampire Slayer Jeopardy Succession Breaking Bad The Twilight Zone Happy Valley

The claim that he has served three terms as president -- not the usual lie that he was elected three times, but that he has actually served three terms -- seems to contradict the claims that he passed the dementia test.

“Everybody needs to turn down the rhetoric.” -supporters of a guy who threatened to destroy an entire civilization of 90 million people

Hearing the head of the WHCA—who just days ago participated in a Paramount dinner “honoring” Trump— say tonight that the First Amendment is “fragile” because of a random shooter rather than because of the president sitting next to her on the podium is, I guess, exactly as pathetic as you’d expect.

“Please sir, I’m the FBI director and you’ve GOT to let me get this correspondent to safety!”

(getting dressed up in a tuxedo to go see an 80-year old racist insult comic who is also a serial sex offender and also responsible for the deaths of innocents across the globe) I'm a journamalist!

In nine hours the national press corps will raise their glasses to the most racist person in the country and claim it’s a “work dinner” for “source building”

The Access of Evil

::Stares in math::

That’s not a thing! There is no different way to calculate the percentages!

Irony just choked to death on a clam strip.

“Feud with the Pope” is BACK as a likely Wikipedia section heading after a 400-year gap.

Archaeologists in the Holy Land just uncovered a 3,000-year-old Israelite tablet… It reads: “Iran is only weeks away from developing a nuclear weapon.”

A peer reviewed study shows a promising link between flu and shingles vaccines and a reduced risk of dementia. A heroin addict who cut off a raccoon’s penis for “further study” says these vaccines cause autism. For busy Americans, it can be hard to know who to trust.

as far as i can tell pope leo has never mentioned trump by name hes just like “killing people is wrong” or “concentration camps arent good” and theyre all taking it personally

"You're spending taxpayer dollars to drink milk shirtless in a hot tub with Kid Rock. Somehow you think that's a better public health message than informing the public about the benefits of vaccines. Really? -- Rep. Linda Sanchez to RFK Jr

“He raped me and choked me, and while he was choking me I lost consciousness.”

Pope Leo: "To put my message on the same plane as what the president has attempted to do here I think is not understanding what the message of the gospel is."

I’ll show you motherfuckers who’s weak on crime

Winning campaign slogan here if anyone wants it.

Listen up: I am one of those rare sex assault victims who actually took the guy who did it to court. It was a local scandal that put my initials on the front page of the local paper (not my whole name because I was a minor). You have no idea what happens to women on the stand or in the press.

I will say the same thing about Swalwell that I said about Platner: I don’t have a “guilt beyond a reasonable doubt” standard for supporting politicians. I don’t need to; I’m not a criminal court and, bizarrely, I’m not allowed to put people in prison.

I know the world is on 🔥 & each day brings new fresh hell. Want to combat the bad with some good? My little family needs help. I'm fighting stage IV metastatic melanoma. I'm 44 - wife, mama, teacher. This fight has left us deeply in debt and I need to dig out. Can you help and SHARE? ❤️🌎 #Cancer

When we take back power, I do not want unity or healing, I want revenge. I also don't want a lecture on "but that's just like Trump, he wanted revenge." He was wrong, we are right. It's different. Get a moral compass. Revenge or sit down. Call it "justice" if you must, it's that too.

a visual depiction of Fox News's commentary tonight

I’ve been thinking about this guy almost daily for ten fucking years. essentially my entire 30’s. when he finally croaks I imagine I’ll let out a sigh so deep it realigns my fucking spine

Armageddon is terrible, but our only other option was diversity trainings at work.

Monsters run our government. We have to disempower and get rid of them ASAP. www.nytimes.com/2026/04/05/u... Gift link:

The biggest story in the world right now is that the president of the United States is a demented old man who takes pleasure in torturing and killing people and is committing crimes with impunity. And yet most legacy media outlets are too cowardly to tell it like it is.

This is an actual post. This is not funny. This is beyond desperate. This is a deeply unwell man who doesn’t belong anywhere near the levers of power. Every member of his cabinet and Congress is complicit in not demanding his removal now.

One of the best ways not to be a racist lil' bitch is to stop being this racist lil' bitch's lil' bitch and whatnot.

My three-year-old was watching the president's address when she turned to me gravely and asked "Daddy, why can't I understand what the nice orange man is saying?" And when I told her "Because America elected a narcissistic sociopath in steep cognitive decline," she started crying.

“I can generalize” is Trump saying “I’m a fucken racist lalala” knowing that no national press outlet or pundit will say a goddamn thing about it.

Please SHARE! Only $200 left to raise by tomorrow for my Signatera test! Can you help? Anything extra goes toward my next oncology visit and PET scan in a couple weeks. I'm grateful! ❤️

Educators say that students who are struggling in class should meet with their instructors or join study groups. A guy who eats dogs and cuts penises off dead raccoons says they should just take heroin instead. For busy young people, it can be hard to know who to trust.

Even Trump Unsure How Rambling Speech On Iran Veered Off Into Ranking The ‘Pirates Of The Caribbean’ Films https://theonion.com/even-trump-unsure-how-rambling-speech-on-iran-veered-off-into-ranking-the-pirates-of-the-caribbean-films/