There’s hogsheads of sperm ahead

This is incredible

Cooper Flagg already disappointing being from a small town in Maine without the regional accent. Tall guys from Maine should all sound like Fred Gwynne in Pet Sematary

Furphy the SGA stopper

It’s interesting that in America our emergency services will either come help you with anaphylactic shock or they will break into your house to kill you

Aren't the Police the protective force that maintains the status quo for the wealthy elite? Don't you think we ought to attack the roots of social problems instead of jamming people into overcrowded prisons?

INTERVIEWER: People have been really taking Greg, who has nipples, and milking space with that, and feeling power in that. DE NIRO (CHOKING UP): I didn't know that. I didn't know that.

BREAKING: An Israeli airstrike on a school-turned-shelter has killed at least 25 Palestinians, mostly women and children, Gaza's Health Ministry said. The school was hit three times while people slept, setting their belongings ablaze, they added.

older guy in front of me at grocery store dripping sweat in a tank top with a USMC tattoo just bought a head of lettuce and 4 half price bottles of vodka with an amex black card and his lock screen was a picture of the muppet Beaker

Me, hitting on a Salvadoran baddie: “So like, is there a MR-13 or…”

500K Mexican-Americans served in the U.S. armed forces in WWII, as did millions of 1st and 2nd-gen immigrants, and 109K noncitizens. Mexican immigrant Macario Garcia won the Medal of Honor in Normandy. When he returned to the US, he was was arrested for trying to eat at a segregated restaurant.

“They tell me from above that they call Sde Teiman a cemetery,” said the commander of the facility. A former guard at the Israeli torture camp testifies to the horrific conditions there in this translation of a Haaretz oped. x.com/alon_mizrahi...

If this makes you happy you've been walked to a dark as hell place. And I am sad for you.

I think this has gone on quite long enough MBAs, if you're mad, get a crayon and circle the face that matches how you feel, then fold the paper up and throw it in the trash

The wait is finally over! MACLUNKEY TREASURE ISLAND: AN ALL STAR LIVE READING OF STAR WARS, EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE is live on YouTube! Check it out at swliveread.com

Gilmore Girls The Masters 🤝 Rory growing increasingly worse as the show progresses

i love the wire first-person shooter but i worry that making every character selectable in multiplayer compromises the story's canon. in my last match i played as brother mouzone and got fragged by assistant principal marcia donnelly with a grenade launcher. that never would've happened in the show

“Got’em!” - Eric the Red

Kept seeing the term Roko’s Basilisk as some ominous tech riddle so I finally had to look it up and OH BROTHER it’s dumb. Silicon Valley, you rubes. You weird fascist rubes.

living in LA is incredible. every day is sun-charged and electric with the possibility of telling a Laker fan that Kobe is roughly the 27th best player in NBA history

This is from 1990. George Carlin was a genius and ahead of his time. If he was alive today, comedians would say he is an "SJW snowflake" but he was 100% correct about everything.

If Hamas had killed 7 Israelis inside of Israel this week, it would be one of the biggest stories in the world, & all over the US media. But Israel killed 7 HUNDRED Palestinians this week, including almost 200 children, & yet there's little outrage from our politicians or media.

If the word "inclusion" makes your ass mad, I'm sorry for you. Go relearn that shit at your nearest Kindergarten, if it hasn't already been defunded and whatnot.

Centrists bigots and right wingers have this all backward. YOU are the ones constantly bringing up trans issues. I would be happy to not think about this shit every day of my life unless I was talking to or reading something by one of my trans friends and thought of it in passing. SHUT THE FUCK UP

I only like Doppler radar don't step to me with some weak ass radar that ain't Doppler I WILL LOSE MY SHIT

Tryin' to imagine makin' a billion dollars scribblin' about baby wizards and whatnot, then sittin' in my castle, rage-tweetin' at trans people all day. Guuurl you won at life. It's cool to just sign out and take everyone your ass has ever known to Wingstop.

“They call Los Angelus the city of angels …”

Every year, millions of Americans are born without the Knowing When You’re Standing Right in the Fucking Middle of the Grocery Store Aisle gene. Incurable, unfortunately

after days of grifters and con men at CES we stumbled upon the booth for VLC. they were all dressed as wizards and told us, "we have nothing to sell, we just decided to show up". i told them I'd been using their software to pirate media for 15 years and they said "keep doing that"

Advertise your account with one Simpsons image

Mr Trump, I recommend you watch "Hamilton" immediately, followed by Bob Burnman "Inside" -- You just might learn something.

Luigi, lying in state atop a local Mexican restaurant’s claw machine.

We've had video on Bluesky for quite some time now and I've yet to see someone transfer over the immortal "Barry Lyndon x 21 Savage" video.

“Fuck that! You can change somebody’s life!”

Will I understand Sonic 3 if I’ve never eaten at Sonic?

Homeschoolers should have to pay double property taxes to offset the cost of regular kids having to explain everything to them later

For five years, I have been covering what is unquestionably the biggest criminal justice scandal in American history. Today it ended when the most corrupt cop in history took his life. But it's not over. A thread.

they should make video games so that they listen through your mic for the sound of a beer opening and when it detects it your character in the game will also have a beer in their hand

costco should sell porno mags that are like 1000 pages

Yuko and I are at the pub for lunch. 1 fav = 1 chip for Yuko 1 rt = 1 sip of beer for Yuko

i converted it to a list so you can block em all bsky.app/profile/did:...

I don't think enough is made of how hilarious it is that the prize for the NBA in season tournament is $500k per player