Indigo and violet being in the rainbow with heavy hitters like red and blue… wild

the specialty pharmacy is so insistent on never updating my address that now i'm starting to wonder if i actually moved or not

They can’t call it Saturday Night Live in England… it’ll be Sunday morning!

if i was like i'm going to name my son the word mail backwards you would be like that's crazy. but take a closer look

SHE WROTE THIS EPISODE FOLKS!! BREAKING THE GLASS CEILING!! (First person from Philly to learn to type)

Ok. No worries

Georgia Fort's is chilling, and it's being overshadowed by the equally chilling arrest of Don Lemon. A GoFundMe is being set up for Fort. In the meantime, you can support her work directly – without paying massive fundraising platform fees – through her website: www.georgiafort.com/support

I see no reason for the Zebra to not neigh. In fact, it could even make things easier

[handing my barber a photo of them from inside their home mere hours before my appointment] i want to look like this. but not have my wife abducted later today

the only OSCAR *I* care about is an Off Screen Car! (O.S. car). Anyway this account will provide this kind of thing plus women's humor and parenting humor

I wrote this in case you even CARE!!!! (Thank you for reading I love you) www.newyorker.com/humor/shouts...

Do not be fooled by the name. Not a single cartoon in Oliver Stone’s Platoon

wait why does the groundhog ever NOT have a shadow. what the hell is wrong with the groundhog

HEY GANG OUR DIRECT AID GROUP AT MAC PARK NEEDS SOME CASH IF YOU CAN THROW A FEW BUCKS MY WAY THAT WOULD BE WONDERFUL BC THEN PEOPLE CAN EAT A FRESH MEAL THANK YOU -BROTI GUPTA (Venmo @broti-gupta1)

ICE, get the fuck out of Minneapolis or we WILL lock up our own citizens

the in and out lists make a lot of sense when you remember that last year "being hard on yourself" was in and "having grace for yourself" was out

the plot twist of I'M CHEVY CHASE, AND YOU'RE NOT is so wild. turns out i actually AM chevy chase

well, bank, MY personal interest rate in all these costs is 0%!!!!!!!!

“Lizza? Nuzzi? Now IZZY? Boy, hope they don’t run out of z’s…” -my new character, guy who thinks that’s how things work

I don’t want to write a third bluesky post about Felching. That’s not what today is about

Happy thanksgiving to everyone. I am grateful that in order to learn that a sitting president faked his assassination attempt I had to pass the first challenge of learning what Felching is

@mattielubchansky.com I saw that you saw The Way We Were and so I wanted to let you know that I sang its title song at the seventh grade talent show

Sure I’ll tell you if the president faked his own assassination attempt — but at a price. Pull up google, type in the word “felching”…

arthritis runs in my family... and it's the only thing that can! haha - hope you are all having a great day. signing off

It gets crazier - Zohran Mamdani was 9 during 9/11. that's the first number of 9/11 -- another part of radical jihad plan?

Ah it looks like Dick Cheney went hunting with himself

If you lived in a trash can wouldn’t you be a grouch too?? Anyway that’s what I think is going on with my neighbor Chris

Best piece I’ve read about OBAA yet. Links our homie Christ with Benicio del Toro’s Sensei Sergio (the ❤️ of the film) AND Ta-Nehisi Coates’ vital perspective from his interview w Ezra Klein a couple wks ago. THIS IS HOW WE DO IT!! Please read this. bsky.app/profile/sojo...

It’s penis size

DEMS: "why losing every election might just be the way to win"

I'm thrilled to be Co-Runner & (1/3) writer of TREEHOUSE OF HORROR XXXVI, alongside brilliant writers @dangreaney.bsky.social @brotigupta.bsky.social, super-talented director Matt Faughnan and his team, and the great @kartoonistkelly.bsky.social (aka @wardsutton.bsky.social) Tonight at 8 on Fox!

Please purchase one of these BEFORE TOMORROW AT 8 PM to watch The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror XXXVI (pronounced IKSIKSIKSVEE). I wrote one of the segments which was a dream come true!!!!!!!!!!!!! On Monday you can return the TV

Zohran mamdani how would you handle the groundhog on Groundhog Day. And why haven’t you thought about it. It sounds like that means you would kill it - which is exactly what Hamas would do to the groundhog on Groundhog Day

I had the time of my life writing a segment for this, co-run by the wonderful Mike Price!!!!

ultimately frankenstein is also frankenstein's monster. due to the nightmare of "THE SELF"

Is space easier to provide service for than Los Angeles

so much of the american experience is being on hold with pharmacies for so long you decide it might just be easier to die

(person who doesn't really get what chimps are) jane goodall, you finally live with the chimps now ❤️

from the twisted mind that brought us "Brunchausen by Loxy", (@nanglish.bsky.social) comes a new episode, "Keep Chalm and Gary On" !!!!

“5:40 am. The perfect time to hone those communication skills” -the baby

been a while since i've heard of a new stereotype so here goes: all women have arthritis!

you guys aren't gonna believe this... they cancelled kimmel again because the FCC found out he isn't the carpool karaoke guy

i love the espresso because it looks like it could taste like chocolate but instead it tastes like stomach acid

criminals in DC? yeah, they live at friggen 1600 Pennsylvania Ave...........

pay no attention to the attached images I AM SELLING TEN MACBOOK PROS 600 DOLLARS EACH

say no more. im in

I have studied the targeting of journalists for many years, but the scale and public display of these killings is truly shocking: “Israel admits deliberate attack on the journalist, known for frontline coverage, in a strike on a tent outside al-Shifa hospital“ www.theguardian.com/world/2025/a...

This man wants a pierogi so bad you'd think it was a 14 year old girl

please donate here!!! please help feed the palestinian babies being starved and murdered with our taxes: chuffed.org/project/1142...