Ok I’m gonna say it. The Thursday Murder Club movie did Bogdan so dirty. Love the books. Hard to forgive.

The good news is, there are a lot of experienced, trained professionals on hand who can quickly gather all the appropriate facts and tell us exactly how this is bad news for the Democrats in the midterms.

It really isn't fair to expose Alex Jones to Tim Heidecker like this, the media equivalent of giving a medieval peasant Doritos.

Even as a critic who has tried to write about MJ’s legacy with nuance and grace, I appreciate the clarity the director of Leaving Neverland brings to the table

quitting my job and homeschooling my 3 y/o because I swear to god thats got to be easier than getting them ready and out the door in the morning.

my 3 y/o ‘s takeaway from the OG little mermaid movie: “THE OCTOPUS WITCH TOOK HER TAIL!”

A breaking update from @timheidecker.bsky.social.

omfg

We have a deal. theonion.com/at-long-last...

What if I told you it was actually the easiest situation anybody has ever been in?

Got in a little hometown jam So they put a rifle in my hand Send me off to a foreign land To go and eat the silver ham

Warby Parker tried to k*ll yourself Christine but it ended up milkshake ducking all over the place so it had to settle for a hard metaverse

It brings me no joy to say Fabletics is doing a Kill Yourself Christine

What if “kill yourself christine” became short hand for this kind of AI “pivot”

Dammit it’s already happening

I wear Allbirds almost everyday which I was supposed to probably feel bad about bc a lot of ppl wore them or something idk but my feet are weird and my feet really like them!

Allbirds in the coalmine

“Dying shoe company becomes compute provider” is easily the best bubble story we have seen so far

[scientist looking through microscope in disbelief] mother of god... it's... it's a reverse milkshake duck

Amia Srinivasan’s “Sex as Pedagogical Failure” should be required reading. Whenever a man in position of authority pursues a subordinate woman, he is changing her trajectory in that space forever. The research on how much even “consensual” affairs hurt the women involved is jaw dropping.

We'll all wake up when Tom Hanks runs out of oil.

It’s hard to overstate how much of this moment is driven by people who got a taste of accountability and were very, very mad about it.

Oh no I wanted to foster a dog but they gave me a bunny

Oh no I wanted to foster a dog but they gave me a bunny

Men get emotional about women sports,,, I just try do it in a positive way

yes. they pay more based on income in taxes for the thing that is then “free” for everyone. this is how public services work

KEVIN is on Prime starting on April 20th and I feel kinda bad that I’m letting them say this about my cat

objectively the funniest critique an american could level at another country

The only reason BlueSky even exists is that it's essentially Twitter methadone.

another banner day for "if you didn't know sports were real, ESPN headlines would be crazy"

the violin is simply too small to play

it’s always Project Hail Mary never Project Our Father SMDH default parent much?

securing the nun vote

I left something on the plane from PHL yesterday. A guy from the airline called today that they found it, and I said “marry me, (guy)!” I said i’d come get it, he told me to bring a diamond ring. I brought ring pops with me and put them on the counter. He turned around. He had no fingers.

i’ve been busy why are so may people talking about Harry potter today?

“SHORTAGE” is an interesting way to say “AVOIDABLE PSYCHOLIGICAL-WARFARE-INSPIRED PURGE”

The USPS IS NOT LOSING MONEY. THE USPS IS SPENDING TAX DOLLARS ALLOCATED TO IT BY THE BUDGET. THE USPS SHOULD NOT BE REQUIRED TO ZERO OUT ITS BALANCE SHEET IT IS NOT A BUSINESS IT DOES NOT HAVE SHAREHOLDERS. IF THE USPS IS OUTSPENDING ITS BUDGET IT SHOULD BE ALLOCATED MORE BUDGET.

daaaaaamnnnn

whenever irish americans are obsessed with being irish but are also racist i’m like ok cousin there’s been a misunderstanding

what I wish people meant when they said Biden was getting his Irish up or whatever they said

Pete Hegseth Questions What Girls Were Doing In School To Begin With https://theonion.com/pete-hegseth-questions-what-girls-were-doing-in-school-to-begin-with/

Women are now required to send her an email each week outlining every courage and risk we did.

Women are now required to send her an email each week outlining every courage and risk we did.

ok the time has come for you EU cuties to come up with a plan for getting me an EU passport. All my grandparents were, RUDELY, born in America (all first gen.) Please fig out it’s truly in your best interest.

if I was a lawyer and wanted to get very rich i’d get on the side of federal employees bc the lawsuits are gonna be huge.

Old Soviet joke: man goes to newsstand every day, picks up Pravda, looks at front page, puts it back. “Comrade,” says the new seller, “why do you do this every day?” “I’m looking for an obituary.” “But comrade, those are in the back of the paper!” “The one I am looking for won’t be.”

incredible comments and QTs

today I told my PT I’ve been doing farmer’s carries at the gym. PT: What are you thinking about during the farmer’s carries? Me: my farm, my crops, how I need to make it through the coming winter. PT: (polite chuckle then silence) Me: Also keeping shoulders down & transverse abs engaged. PT: Great!

Most accurate portrait of modern culture currently available

international women’s day