Think Tank Called ‘The Himmler Institute’ Assures Nation This All Legal https://bit.ly/44aNdkq

Financial Experts Recommend Putting Tax Return Toward Dream Sandwich https://bit.ly/4dycQ3t

Hell yes @drcamacho.bsky.social

United States Surgeon General Doctor Steven Brule

This is actually the perfect distillation of the right wing worldview. A predatory industry treats consumers unfairly so it must be immigrants' fault.

Supreme Court Overturns ‘Right v. Wrong’ https://theonion.com/supreme-court-overturns-right-v-wrong-1819573211/

Report: Nobody Fucking Cares https://theonion.com/report-nobody-fucking-cares-1819578909/

Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self -help films as Smoke Yourself Thin and Get Confident, Stupid! bsky.app/profile/nyti...

It makes them sticky. Saved you a click

The Gary Busey self care regimen is really working for him

Truly remarkable how many people have told the Pope, in some way or another, to "shut up and dribble." Or corrected him on the Bible, despite their thin education on theology. Or told him to stay out of US affairs, despite him being a US citizen. The hubris is amazing.

I don't know if young people these days understand that this kind of grotesque gutter racism was simply not acceptable in public... not that long ago!

Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto https://theonion.com/man-who-threw-molotov-cocktail-at-sam-altmans-home-claims-he-was-following-chatgpt-recipe-for-risotto/

as an aside to the whole pope fight … politicians aren’t celebrities or people to idolize. they’re nerds that need to be constantly bullied into taking positions that benefit their constituencies. weird as hell to treat them like stars when they work for you, relying on your money to do their job

What if the actual human being just talked to them and took questions on occasion instead?

Every day I ask myself if this is real.

I’m glad that he’s showing what (white) American Christianity is really about. The thirst for domination and power to the point of blasphemy. They’ve been calling him the chosen one, an avatar of God, because he allows them to hate marginalized people. He can do this because they won’t abandon him.

I can't stop laughing at this post. It's perfect.

having given it due consideration, i have decided that "government by the stupidest most hateful morons to ever walk, or really more of sort of ooze gelatinously, on the planet" is a bad form of government and we should try something different

Armageddon is terrible, but our only other option was diversity trainings at work.

yeah man i'll circle back to you on that agenda item from yesterday's all hands in just a sec. our pedophile king just threatened to destroy a whole civilization

We should be able to disable and uninstall an entertainment app

Found what Maverick's last wingman is up to these days. Bleak!

In theaters this summer: Cop Who Navigates Mid-life Crisis While Maintaining Principles starring Mark Ruffalo as Detective Rufus McSlovenly

CEO Explains How The Future Of Tech Is Himself Being Wealthy

Dead less than a week and Stinger is already rolling over in his grave 😭

your grandparents voting for reagan

House Hunters episode, circa 2033: Husband: "I am a Kalshi trader who specializes in which world leaders Chief Justice Kavanaugh will send dick pics to next" Wife: "and I'm the Measles Infection Coordinator for the Western district of Texas." together: "our budget is $525 billion"

“DUE TO TO THE TENOR AND DEPTH OF THIS FEMALE ANGEL’S LOVE MAKING, I ORGASMED MULTIPLE TIMES BEFORE WAKING UP NUDE IN HEAVEN. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! I DID NOT WEAR A CONDOM!” said President Trump

Rising Conservative Star Just Guy Wearing Nazi Armband And Crying https://theonion.com/rising-conservative-star-just-guy-wearing-nazi-armband-1849855062/

@defnotchuck.bsky.social browsing my contacts and remembered this era

he predicted our whole situation

ICE Agents Swab Passengers’ Hands To Test For Immigrant Residue

I’m at ICE HQ

Waking up every day and reading the news

Incredibly funny that the president of the United States can do this and retain command of the American Armed Forces, but I said it about a literal Nazi and got fired from a job writing superhero comics.

Christians who continue to support this are the least serious people on the planet.

2006 internet: RSS feeds, forums, communities of hobby blogs, where people post about interior design, fashion, and music for free 2026 internet: sponsored content, paid partnership, buy my merch, try my supplements, invest in my crypto, click link in bio to unlock the secrets of life for $30

I hope and pray that every single person involved is found out and never knows a single moment’s peace the rest of their miserable lives

I dislike this

Says a lot about him that he's still on twitter :/

for anyone who may be losing faith in himan progress, remember this: we invented the dildo 27,000 years before the gun.

EPA Unveils Plan To Make Water Chunkier https://theonion.com/epa-unveils-plan-to-make-water-chunkier/

Today's #headlines

hit ⬆️⬆️⬇️⬇️⬅️➡️🅱️🅰️⏹️▶️ to effect regime change

Maybe if we paid our educators better they wouldn't need side jobs www.ksat.com/news/ksat-in...