make today your BEST day for the shareholders

ESPN Presents An Interview With Lane Kiffin Brought To You By The Texas Bowl

Fuck It, Let's Go Bowling Military Bowl

Making giblet gravy

The Onion Looks Back At 'It's A Wonderful Life'

On Donner! On, Blitzen! On Chuy! On Tavo! C'mon, Becto!

This is hateful football.

Let Cashius Howell kick field goals you cowards

[Sean Connery voice] Hand Smashed Angus Beef Sonic Pretzel Smasher?

Accidentally watched 5 seconds of GameDay and thought Brian Bosworth was Ed Harris

Hey Co-pilot, show me how to incinerate your sorry ass in the all-consuming hell of the surface of the sun

My response to anything over the next two weeks

Plz send your favorite photos of human feces to this man, he yearns to see inside all the bathrooms in the land bsky.app/profile/expr...

An absolute bedrock institution for understanding how the planet works, just civilization-scaled vandalism by the most incurious morons on Earth

[opens mandatory training module at work] robot voice: THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT

Genuinely think our society is lost if we can’t find a way to start caring that the ostensibly most powerful man in the world acts like this.

An absolute horrific nightmare of two AI bots caught in a loop with each other is the perfect example of the total nothingness of AI “brains”.

Gus Johnson Inside Voice Challenge 2025

DJ Smirkin'

Auburn rn

Lane Kiffin is going to troll us all by taking the Auburn job tonight

If you lose to DJ Durkin and 5-7 FSU in the same year you should be barred from the playoffs by law

TFW U RTDB 😊

I beat Sean McDonough is an absolute hoot out on Sixth Street

All these commercials for Hamnet have hastened the summoning of Night Ham

I think Pecan Pie is one of those things that is divisive now because it’s just a blob of sugar with nuts on it but to someone 150 years ago who ate shoes it was probably like having 12 orgasms at once

I could not create a better running back name than Tiger Riden

Let Cashius Howell kick field goals you cowards

lol NC State punter just recovered his own punt

what was this guy’s fucking problem

Gifted Khashoggi Head Mounted In Oval Office

The sabotage is happening everywhere all at once; a gang of supremacists, so convinced of their own superiority that they never bothered learning much about the sum total of human knowledge, and who now, faced with their own vast ignorance about human progress, have made human progress their enemy.

Can’t believe the whole country has to suffer through the return of Dickensian childhood diseases because the worst, most ignorant attention-demanders decided other people’s expertise makes them feel bad

Hmm. Lemme get the Crawfish Dynamite, order of Kushiage, a Godzilla Roll, two Key West rolls, and a bowl of Tori Zosui

Make that state trooper wear the avocado suit if he wants to stand on the sideline

Ran into Brian Cox at McDonald's earlier. Nice chap. Tried to order a 75-piece McNuggets

first half / second half

first half /second half

“Win, or I’ll die” - me

Professors at Texas A&M required to obtain prior approval from administration to discuss this half of football in class.

Look, I’ll say it. Texas A&M football looks like shit since they got rid of woke

New Texas A&M policy requires approval from the school president to beat South Carolina

Aggies