When the rubric said the paper needs to be at least two pages double spaced and you’re cutting it close with the statute of lim… I mean, deadline

CHOTINER: So you’re a barber. SWEENEY TODD: Yes sir. CHOTINER: With no repeat customers. TODD: I mean— CHOTINER: And the neighbor cook, Mrs. Lovett? TODD: First-rate cook— CHOTINER: No butchers sell her meat but she’s still got meat pies to sell? TODD: [jumps for lever by Chotiner’s chair]

Chotiner: So it says here you claimed you would die before denying Christ? Peter: *sigh* That’s correct C: And this was after Christ foretold your coming denials. P: Well, yes, but– C: Jesus Christ, true God, who cannot lie, and you still didn’t believe Him? P: Look man, you wanna lose an ear?

A few friendly reminders about autism: - Autism is not inherently a bad thing. - Autism is not a death sentence. - Autism is not a pejorative term. - Autism is not a moral failing. - Autism is not something to shame or ridicule. - Autism is not something to hide. - Autism is not a crime.

This letter is something every college student across the nation needs to read.

what the LAME STREAM MEDIA will leave out about this photo is that immediately before it was taken he had accepted a cigar from Bugs Bunny and started smoking it

So…Aaron Glenn’s sideline celebration is 🔥🔥🔥 with Earth, Wind & Fire attached to it.

I have the perfect solution to this whole stupid Tylenol thing, Bayer. Just tell the President that you replaced the acetaminophen with paracetamol and that it’s safe.

[Youth pastor voice]: Let me tell you about someone else who vanished for several days, only to return on the day of the Rapture

Tom Homan is doing corruption the right way By Ezra Klein

Just saw a commercial for Robitussin Gummies and I’m torn between it being an awful idea or a brilliant idea. I have to imagine they taste awful, but you could swallow it whole like a gel cap. But then again it’s like a less efficient gel cap.

“Dude, shit’s wild now, man. You hear about Kimmel? Can they do that?” [moments later] “Jamie, pull up that video of a gorilla getting hit in the dick again. Hahah listen to the sound he makes! Shits hilarious, play it again.”

so many dead canaries and we just keep on mining

I would have figured it was SpaceX ketamine

Was trying to think of some of the worst movies I’ve ever seen to look up on Rotten Tomatoes and yep this tracks

The amount of shit I got for this segment at the time was astronomical, and it was all from people who now stalk CVS employees to get them fired for insufficient online sadness. Cheering on political violence is both evil and not new, an outgrowth of an internet intentionally dismantled years ago.

Every time I see these goofy glasses, I can’t help but think of Mark Osborne’s incredible short “More” from 1998. If you haven’t seen it, it’s only 6 1/2 minutes and will stay with you the rest of your life. youtu.be/cCeeTfsm8bk

The media doesn't want you to know that like 92% of Americans died last year from illegal drugs. But we're not going to let them conceal the truth any longer.

When I finally check my phone and see we somehow won

This isn’t a subskeet or a correction of anyone’s posts today. Just know that the folks who have said that empathy is weakness did so because they wished to excuse their self-centeredness.

Do your mental health a favor and turn this on for today. You really don't want to watch this. It is awful.

Welcome to McCarthyism 2.0. The difference this time is that it’s not a relatively junior Senator doing it via committee hearings, but the White House doing it with full cooperation from virtually every arm of the federal and red state governments.

High efficiency urinal? More like… Streamlined

You come for me like this, in my own timeline…

Hey @jurancon.bsky.social @rickyv.bsky.social, I understand this is likely an absolute long shot, but do y’all know where I could find a copy of Jakob Lodwick’s essay “Tagwebs, Flickr, and the Human Brain” from 2005? I read it in the early CollegeHumor days, but the essay page is long gone.

Hate to see Texas drop to #2 next week after Ohio St stays #3 inexplicably

3M: “We’ve heard the latest craze for AI and have added it to all of our Post-it notes products!” Anthropomorphized Clippy stuck to Post-it: “…k…kill me, …please”

I thought they were overreacting but yeah I just saw the new Cracker Barrel logo and maybe the new rebrand really did miss the mark

chat,,,

oh my god chat points out - msnow.com - they didn't buy the main domain either, it's own by a korean snowmobile dealer

still not over how A. they didn't buy any of the domains before launching and B. the new name ("my source news opinion world") literally reads like one of those fake news sites your grandma sends you a link to about how salmon causes breast cancer

"It's not MSNBC anymore, Lemon. It's MS NOW. We bought the name off of a defunct multiple sclerosis awareness organization. It wasn't cheap, but we were able to save some money by selling Brian Williams to a Saudi prince who wanted to expand his harem."

You're probably going to have to be slightly more specific than this.

It is increasingly clear that the majority of federal law enforcement officers do little or no real work, hence having the time and resources to do what they've been doing under Trump. Whole agencies need to be zeroed out, with employees sued to pay back salaries and benefits wrongly obtained.

RIBS 2028: The Platform All Americans Will Eat Up

RJ Reynolds: You People Made Me Put Down Joe Camel Because Of “The Children”

When he stops and decides to go back at the 0:38 mark

That sub has done more to fight fascism in 2025 than Congress.