Hahahahahahahahahahhahahahaaasjkkasjskkaskskdllfjrkdod

None of these people will be immediately employable anywhere in the private sector outside of Fox News.

I’m into this content

Do we really want to live in a country where a guy can’t throw on a comically oversized rack and hang w friends on the internet?

Just had a Diet Coke from McDonald’s for the first time in my life and I think I get it now. This must be the thing keeping the entire franchise in business.

And they’d have been right to do so. End this awful carnival ride.

“Thank you for calling the Iranian Revolutionary Guard. Please press—“ “Agent.” “Im sorry, I didn’t get that. Press one if you’d like to—“ “Agent.” “I’m sorry, I didn’t g— “AGENT!” “Okay, it sounds like you want to talk to an agent of the Iranian Revolutionary Guard. Is that correct?”

This is one of those things where if you don’t know anything about Bob Dylan you go “yeah fine whatever”, and if you know a little about Bob Dylan you go “how could Bob Dylan do this?” and if you know a lot about Bob Dylan you go “yeah fine whatever”

Shot:

Update to this: my daughter just flew in from Philly and she's staying a long time so her suitcase was overweight, and I was like "oh did you have to pay" and she was like "no, they don't care anymore." She said security at Philly airport is generally lax, as per this report. She got through fast.

Oh wow. That’s the end of my bracket but 10/10 worth it.

Fuad’s is such a Houston treasure. Nothing like a drop ceiling strip mall piano bar with chandeliers and martinis.

Incredible LinkedIn wording here.

I’m not saying Hegseth is a nazi, I’m just saying he does a lot of nazi stuff.

It’s cool the way talk to text wrote “cock joint” instead of “caulk joint” given only one of these is an actual thing.

There are exactly three programs who can do this without being corny and not one of them is the University of Houston — whom I love.

Last time I ever believe in Nebraska athletics I can PROMISE you this.

Damn Texas got UH 1983’d.

HORRIFIC foul calls in this game. Glad it happened but my god

It was a fun and unexpected run from Texas. Hopefully something they can build on moving forward. (Said as a Sean Miller skeptic.)

As a person who grew up during the “bad boys” era of Detroit Pistons basketball, I’m having a very difficult time with what earns a flagrant foul designation in present day basketball.

Dude’s playing the hell out of that air accordion

I’ve been around my child so much that I am saying things like “what are you doing-aaahh”

Hopefully there’s one the size of 39 elephants on the way.

He has zero emotional intelligence nor any ability to empathize — both of which seem essential to meaningful diplomacy? He has no appreciation for context. He still thinks this a NY real estate deal. But the underlying motivation and the stakes — people’s lives — are much, much higher.

May she never know peace.

Me [looking at the weather app]: can you guess how close the nearest lighting strike is? Wife: ten thousand miles Me: ten THOUSAND miles? Wife: I don’t know, what the hell kind of question is that? Me: I don’t know. Wife: 500? Me: 776 Wife: Okay. Me: So this didn’t go the wa— Wife: GREAT to know.

It’s funny, yes, but I swear to God this entire country is run by children who value trolling over acting like adults — which I can’t imagine is a tenable way to exist as a high-functioning, pleasant society.

Should we start packing for re-education camp?

I hate how stupid everything is.

How long til the first anti-woke pol refers to delta as an “activist airline”

Thrice released “Black Honey” ten years ago and it feels just as poignant today as it was then — maybe more so. Because nothing changes. “Maybe this time I’ll get it right.” Nope. Not this time either.

Area Man Needs to Stop Eating Tamales

Hard to keep up. And bear with me because apparently I’m an idiot. If Iran did October 7th, why was Palestine reduced to rubble? If Palestinian operatives were working for Iran, wouldn’t it have made more sense to go straight to the source, first?

Dang man Virginia blew this one.

My child just asked what the c-word is and I just fumbled over words for what felt like too long before arriving at “why are you asking me this like how did you come to know a c-word even existed?”

“I love to be coached hard.” - Oluchi Okananwa

I'm sure cutting off energy supplies to actual humans in favor of powering the burgeoning chatbot sector will be a very popular decision with no downside

👀👀👀👀

Texas? 👀

I have Duke winning it all, but TCU knocking them out in the 32 would be funny as hell.

This footage is marvelous. To respond “I’m on a world tour“ when a cop asks what you were doing is absolutely incredible.

Good god been working since 530am, this morning. Time to settle in with this UH basketball game and a big beautiful carajillo.

Christians who continue to support this are the least serious people on the planet.

My instagram ads are so dialed in.

Been looking for a truck. But I think this is a few F-100s higher than I need.

Oh my god. Seriously. Oh my god.

*shrug*