my new webmaster/self-appointed marketing agent has requested i add demo videos to my toy lisings, squishing and/or hitting things with them. What do you want to see first?

hey bluesky wanna hear a cool noise? this is the Jellyfish 4 being popped.

okay so

fuck yeah, this rules

This post is in reference to the merch for my book tour btw

hey bluesky wanna hear a cool noise? this is the Jellyfish 4 being popped.

⚠️ Heads up, ESPECIALLY to sex workers and activists: Amazon is changing their public wishlist terms. Your address will soon be visible to gift purchasers in certain circumstances.

HEY YOU! i want you to support the first and only courtesan's union in us history i want you to support adalind and jupiter and paloma who were illegally fired (if you can do it with money, so much the better!) United Brothel Workers | CWA Local 9413 share.google/nXXXUhwJ20pY...

I feel like 87% of queer discourse online from pearl clutching about pup masks to being a felt mouth puppet about pronouns to concerns on intersectionality would be lessened if people learned and internalized about how much of queer prosecution has historically weaponized obscenity laws.

This is cool as hell: An app designed to ping people about nearby smartglasses. Also cool: The creator was inspired by @404media.co coverage, a great illustration of why their journalism is so essential. This kind of work is funded by paid subscribers so become one of those if you can.

i've been working on the dildos all the live long day i've been working on the dildos just to ship them all away can't you hear the wankers wanking filling up their holes can't you hear the jerkers jerking jerkers won't you blow your load!

genAI is dying repost to make it die faster

pouring NoFrillDos and printing molds today. if you're still waiting on an order with a NofrillDo in it, it'll go out tomorrow or wednesday.

After months of relentless rapid response in Minneapolis, members of Defend the 612 had a moment to breathe and reflect on the lessons they’ve learned, the grief they carry, and the citywide fellowship they hope will endure. The crisis is not over, and I’m grateful they made time to speak with me.

if you're awake and in the chunk of the east coast getting snow, do yourself a favor and look out the window for a minute or two

So it's been a while since I talked about safety, huh? I just saw someone express concern about the safety of NoFrillDos due to their cost, so here's EVERY COST CUTTING MEASURE I TOOK TO MAKE AFFORDABLE, SAFE DILDOS (a thread and guide)

The Pay-What-You-Can NoFrillDos are out of stock once again, but fear not! Regular NoFrillDos are affordable year-round! with options to leave choice of shape or color up to me that reduce the price further, you can still get a NoFrillDo for $30 or less, shipping included. funkittoys.com/nofrilldo

The Pay-What-You-Can NoFrillDos are out of stock once again, but fear not! Regular NoFrillDos are affordable year-round! with options to leave choice of shape or color up to me that reduce the price further, you can still get a NoFrillDo for $30 or less, shipping included. funkittoys.com/nofrilldo

Landlord's absurd prices getting you down? Rent due and you're just looking a way to say 'fuck this place'? Well, now you can!  Come fuck this building! https://www.gaudygryphon.com/product/Togepi_Ave/264

If you’re not actively in the fight to preserve Section 230 then I do not care about your thoughts on algospeak. The enactment of FOSTA/SESTA in 2018 was the first attack on Section 230, and it is directly to blame for online censorship of sexual language, even before algorithms made it worse.

an Recent Custom Swish.

an Recent Custom Swish.

PSA for Discord's new age verification! If you get hit by it and refuse to give them any ID or face scans as you should, here's a way to just... bypass it. Go to Settings - Family Centre and then just enter a date of birth that's 18+ It's really that simple. Give them nothing.

"We invented pornographic art tens of thousands of years before written language." - @funkittoys.bsky.social points out that history has always been ✨💕fucked💕✨, as illustrated by @erikamoen.bsky.social Public post with references: www.patreon.com/posts/150935...

"We invented pornographic art tens of thousands of years before written language." (Full size image) Words by @funkittoys.bsky.social, images by @erikamoen.bsky.social (and various uncredited prehistoric artists, craftspeople, and caveperverts) Full post: www.patreon.com/posts/150935...

On the @ohjoysextoy.bsky.social Patreon, I made a ✨free, public✨ post sharing the sexual history research I made for my @funkittoys.bsky.social collab: www.patreon.com/posts/150935... ⅘ of the OJST posts are free to see, but Patreon makes us keep them private from non-followers bc of sex content.

maryland my maryland

are you a real texture freak? cool. www.funkittoys.com/product-page...

45.4/50. I am a professional. dialed.gg?c=JPPLV5

are you a real texture freak? cool. www.funkittoys.com/product-page...

it eould be so pointless and impractical but i keep thinking about making an even bigger fish paddle it's at the max my printer can make it lengthwise, so the dream of a 400 dollar 6 pound fish will be dashed for now also no one would buy it

Mid month newsletter is out! Includes great deals from @woodhullfreedom.bsky.social. @funkittoys.bsky.social and Palace Project auntievice.substack.com/p/auntie-vic...

Out of Rs, just the G left! but of course regular NoFrillDos are available in 8 shapes at very affordable prices all the time, check them out too! funkittoys.com/nofrilldo

This is the Wikipedia equivalent to a five star gacha pull via the endless scroll Wikipedia: xikipedia.org

“is there a technology that the left is excited about?” Have you SEEN what vibrators can do now???

I will keep saying it: these are exceptional dildos, and you deserve exceptional dildos

nofrilldos are great for starters and experienced toy users! support small creators!

I love my toys from @funkittoys.bsky.social !!! Here is a great chance to get the no frills dils!

Good time to restock your toy box.

Dildos For The People Also, I am not telling you that this is an inexpensive way to get things to throw at ICE agents but some other, less ethical people out there might suggest that and I cannot in good conscience say that they are incorrect

Pay-What-You-Can NoFrillDos are back! I make these from leftover silicone from my other NoFrillicone pours, and since they're saved from becoming aste material, I let you decide how much they're worth! www.funkittoys.com/product-page...

i realized Funkit Toys is gonna be ten in a couple months. I should do something for that.

if you spent all day today making dildos you could pretend there wasn't a president, and it could have been pretty great

you ever look at a certain tire man mascot and think he's ribbed for your pleasure www.funkittoys.com/product-page...

as a sexuality educator, do not open the demon core at dick level or at all

roses are red screws have a twist remember when horny that sex toys exist funkittoys.com

roses are red money is saved i'm out of ideas burma-shave funkittoys.com

roses are red the president's addled pick up a fish and get yourself paddled www.funkittoys.com/impact

roses are red hockey has goals go and get something to put in your holes