Human artists, use only one piece to convince people to follow you!

i get through the dark winter nights by taking the D every day

"I'm a great believer in fuck, and i find that the harder i wank, the more i have of it" -thomas jefferson, approximately

GLACIES delenda est.

A few days ago I got really pissed off about all the ICE kidnappings to the point that I needed to do an art about it. So when I say fuck ICE, i mean with this.

I've added two new sizes to the Proper Attire line to make it accessible to more than a fraction of the population! Sizes are now called Canon, Credible, and Compact, at 100%, 80%, and 60% scale. Full details on the listing. www.funkittoys.com/product-page...

T, is all the toys, that Kenton made to bring us joy LUST, with toys from funkittoys.com LUST, make playtime great for subs and doms Toys low cost as he can build 'em, any hole you have, they'll fill 'em Funkit toys were made to make you cum!

woth apologies to Nat King Cole: L, that Look you give and all it brings U, a pile of our Underthings S, is So So Sexy, getting Super messy T, is all the Things we - *fast advertisement voice* purchased at funkittoys.com to make fucking funnier and more enjoyable, go to funkittoys.com today

I've added two new sizes to the Proper Attire line to make it accessible to more than a fraction of the population! Sizes are now called Canon, Credible, and Compact, at 100%, 80%, and 60% scale. Full details on the listing. www.funkittoys.com/product-page...

❌ we don't support Creature Cocks in this house ❌ Creature Cocks has capitalized off indie toy companies for years - Bad Dragon, Monster Cocks, Darque Path, amongst others. if you want fantasy dildo recommendations, lmk. It's [partially] my job to know

these both sold already, but: gay dildos

once again, for the folks in the back: in the words of Tantus' early 2000s marketing, make dildos, not war

sorry everyone i'm quitting dildos, i found a bunch of these power line insulator baubles at the local secondhand store and they're gonna become my entire personality

The old april fools' classic is back. www.funkittoys.com/product-page...

there's a lot of good ones but for me it's gotta be "put baby in pelican mouth"

i was gonna make a new years' toy this year but i dropped the ball

i was gonna make a new years' toy this year but i dropped the ball

The old april fools' classic is back. www.funkittoys.com/product-page...

when i tripped and stumbled into my line of work, i already knew a bunch of sex educators from running Sex Geekdom DC. People already knew me as a funny sex nerd with interesting ideas, so when word got around i had started making toys, people heard about it from people they already trusted on this.

Apparently Paypal is now asking those who commissioned artists through invoices for feedback on the experience, Please never type anything, Its a trap. Just putting both yours and their accounts at risk of bans.

The past tense of vibrator is vibratored. The plural of vibrator is vibratrices.

for those who are new here:

oh hey, we getting another round of immigration here? hell yeah. Dildos.

merry christmas from my parents' cat, who missed me very much and is NOT willing to share

if selling dildos online becomes de facto illegal i'm pivoting to interior design on account of all my experience decorating your interiors

merry clitsmas, remember to flick the ceremonial bean and hang a menstrual cup from the mantle

one more day to pick these up before they vanish for the year!

if selling dildos online becomes de facto illegal i'm pivoting to interior design on account of all my experience decorating your interiors

If you aren't seeing skeets from some of your fave people, they might have been labeled "Rude" by bsky mods. Idk what they are thinking, I don't need a mommy to tell me who to be buddies with. Anyway, go into Settings > moderation > bluesky moderation (advanced) and turn Rude off.

I know it isn't as dysphoria friendly but "minimizing bras" are a totally normal and boring thing marketed to cis women. Binders are just "extra minimizing".

well, this is ominous, and certainly expected.

dildos

i feel like after your S.O. destroys your TV the first time you should've broken up but this second one's on you, neighbor

think i might put the InYouki Mishroom back in the store this week or so. i just unearthed the mold digging out the chess ones and it's a fun little toy.

Here comes Santa Claus here comes Santa Claus right on Ms. Claus' tits Pulling her hair and slapping her ass and fingering all her bits Bells are ringin' and she is singin' cause that's what Ms. Claus likes Hung like stockings and dressed in leather yeah Ms. Claus comes tonight #clitsmascarols

@alsobrooks.senate.gov started losing my trust over the course of many phone calls. A person who is unwilling to hire staff to answer phones does not work for the people. I have always been sent immediately to voicemail. This is the final nail in the coffin. She is no senator of mine, or anyone.

In the wise words of @tantus.bsky.social' early 2000's advertising, make dildos, not war. What i'd give to see a society that condemned violence more than sex.

You better strap up, you better find lube you better be good you sexy fuck you Santa Cocks is coming, *lyric mumbled away from mic* He's making some dicks, checking them twice putting them in the naughty and nice Santa Cocks is coming, [caption missing] #clitsmascarols

In the wise words of @tantus.bsky.social' early 2000's advertising, make dildos, not war. What i'd give to see a society that condemned violence more than sex.

HO HO HO! HO HO HO! Let's go fuck ourselves. Let's go fuck ourselves, Let's fill up our shelves, with sex toys for folks to enjoy Oh, let's go fuck ourselves. We jerk hard all day, With ourselves we play, Lubes we try out, Until they dry out, Let's go fuck ourselves. #clitsmascarols

Oh, IUD, oh, IUD, you help us not get pregnant Oh IUD, oh, IUD, with period prevention This T shaped thing, prevents alarm With plastic string, and plastic arms Oh, IUD, oh, IUD, you make sex more protected #clitsmascarols

"You shouldn't make art for the money" buddy I'll take it one step further and say we shouldn't have to labor for capital at all but in the meantime pay an artist

I dunno, man. If I have to keep calling my representative and screaming at them to not vote for stuff like the Nailing Babies to Wolverines Act, and if I don't they'll vote to nail babies to wolverines, then it seems to me that person shouldn't be my representative.

i did this, and because i left lengthy messages it took ten minutes. If you DM me a screenshot of the call in your phone history i'll give you a code for ten percent off in my shop.

PLEASE Call your Reps! Kids Safety is important and should worked on BUT not at the risk and degradation of the internet for everyone! Keep the Internet Free and Open for EVERYONE!

anyone who lives in the state this senator lives in, tell her why KOSA and other so-called child safety bills don't protect kids, and these are in-fact a danger to the LGBTQ community

i guess it's december, which means the christmas toys are back! www.funkittoys.com/product-page... www.funkittoys.com/product-page...

seriously, i made a few hundred bucks vending today and when i walked into my house i announced to my roommate "LOOK TO THE [local pizzaria] MENU, TONIGHT WE FEAST"

Thanks to everyone who came out to the Erotic Market today! I had a great day and it was lovely talking to all of you

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