in college I went to a drug store to try to buy a hypodermic needle because I was diabetic and they knew I was lying immediately so I admitted I wanted it so we could inject vodka into otter pops for a party and they decided that was too stupid for me to have made up and they gave me one

in the back of the honda minivan getting that odussy

the NYT decline continues apace

this is an important and sad article about my school but what we really need to talk about here is that ain't Reveille fam she only gots one eye

I can foresee a moment in my late career where I would add "able to do engineering without AI" to my resume

WHICH COUNTRIES ARE GOOD AT WHICH WINTER OLYMPICS SPORT screaming downhill faster than my car goes: any country containing some Alps pushing big rocks on ice: any country known for making whiskey sliding down an ice chute like a psychopath: former axis powers

wow I completely forgot that the 30-50 feral hogs tweet was originally a reply to jason isbell

We did an evening organized cycling ride together and rode 28 miles in downtown Houston, then we grabbed a margarita at a Mexican restaurant nearby. A year later we did the same ride for our anniversary except I proposed on the balcony of that restaurant.

tiktok videos have taught me that every single person who says "I know my rights" goes to jail because of how little they know their rights

even the car dealer today gave us a hard time for not having "my car" and "her car" today yall gotta calm down

someday chloe kim and myles garrett are going to have the hottest children to ever walk the planet

freebird.mp3

mad at everyone for introducing me to this game www.maptap.gg February 11 98🎯 98🎯 91👑 100🎯 91👑 Final score: 951

we need to talk about that Ring Super Bowl ad

WeRateDogs has always been a real one. We’ve known this since that time he bodied Bront for implying there are dogs that deserve less than a 10/10.

"Remove Your Ring Camera with a Claw Hammer," by @hamiltonnolan.bsky.social: www.hamiltonnolan.com/p/remove-you...

I'll take it www.maptap.gg February 10 100🎯 100🎯 100🎯 99🎯 83😁 Final score: 946

Age verification? I remember installing MS-DOS 3.0 and being very excited about it.

don't make fun of TPUSA they knew they couldn't realistically expect in their first attempt to compete directly with the pageantry, logistics, and organization of something as storied as the Puppy Bowl

anyone know how to buy a non-smart TV these days

to be fair this doesn't talk about the mid-90s when 97% of the ads were for American light beer and that shit has always been rock solid

Back when I was a car blogger in the early 2000s I went to an event for dealership owners in a big tent in a parking lot and Kid Rock performed and no one got out of their seats and it was so embarrassing but now everyone’s seen it so at least I’m not alone anymore.

today I learned bluesky is cooked

you couldn't pay me enough cash to visit a i dot com

"we spent sooooo much capital on this robot dick plz let us stick it somewhere pleeeeeeeease"

goddam they are so horny for us to use ai

If this game ends without a touchdown and you don't give the MVP to the kicker then this entire sport is bullshit.

going great already lmfaoo

the winter olympics are superior to the summer this is an objective fact

texas urinals built different yall

One of my all-time favorites, from @defnotchuck.bsky.social

overtrusting a fart and then needing everyone to immediately leave the room is the most relatable thing the president has ever done

Austin has a lot of breweries and the The Brewtorium is the best one sorry

He’s just describing The American Dream but you’re supposed to hate it for some reason

this site used to be just skeets of alf dick what happened to us

it's over for you dog hoes

*8 times.

I'm Kat Abughazaleh and I approve this message.

I just finished this 28-day program and it’s so good. All you need is a resistance band and dumbbells. It takes me 30 mins in the morning to knock the daily workout out. And it kicks my ass. www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/a689...

Listening to This Year by the Mountain Goats and feeling resolute and zen. 🎶I am gonna make it Through this year If it kills me🎶

Tell me something good about yourself. What's a thing about you that you like or are proud of?

Gift link to an important story about how the school I have been in complicated conflict with my entire life has gotten much worse lately. www.texasmonthly.com/news-politic...

Funny and brilliant for sure, but I have also always been struck by the confidence of Catherine O'Hara's acting. No matter the role, she knew exactly who her character was.

❤️

Tip for all you DMs out there: Max Verstappen's accent and affect make a great NPC shopkeeper who does not give a fuck if anyone buys anything ever.

this insane outfit has me convinced that young Frank Dux is not a fan of either team but rather the D&D concept of giants like large humanoid monsters

it is time