Nobody here needs me to tell them not to do this but Jesus Christ in a Cadillac do not do this.

Please give me an example of a public figure of any level who exemplifies positive masculinity. I'll start with Greg Popovich, Dave Bautista, and Charles Barkley.

in a month and a half I'll be staying here and I just have to make it to then

I feel like I look a lot older than other 45 year olds 🫤

www.maptap.gg May 13 96🔥 96🔥 97🔥 100🎯 99🎯 Final score: 983

I always thank the teachers in the drop off line when they open the door for my kid. Today it was the school principal and I had that thank you chambered and ready but she spoke to my daughter first saying "have a great day sweetie" and I immediately said "thanks" and anyway I have to move now.

roses are red goo goo dolls sang iris and id give up forever to touch you cause you have the hantavirus

#Aggies @jaconthebrazos.bsky.social @defnotchuck.bsky.social

saw Episode IV special edition on and right before it started someone walked into the theater wearing a screen accurate Darth Vader costume and stood in front of the screen being all scary and it was almost as amazing as when someone yelled "down in front!" and hit him with a half full soda

a real one

honestly that last sentence is my most controversial and most correct star wars opinion

Stormtroopers are constantly asking people to identify themselves and taking prisoners, while rebels and resistance troops invariably kill on sight. The good guys are war criminals.

the collective noun for a group of cybertrucks is a "custody battle"

this is the horniest car I've ever seen

new cybertruck evolution released

listen I know it's a 1993 release but Betrayal At Kronder is still a high water mark

ahem 🩵

RESULT out of Texas. The Lake Travis school district in the Austin area become a focal point for book bans (see this story from 2024: www.kut.org/education/20...) Two conservatives school board members who were integral to that push just lost their reelection bids tonight, and are ousted.

we are 7 performances in at the synchronized swimming meet and 5 of them have been set to "Golden" from K Pop Demon Hunters

This kind of mixed use urban planning is illegal in America

mugger: *points gun* your money or your life me: sure thing *hands him my id* you got 2 kids and didn’t actually understand the matrix mugger: no i mean- me: *already running away* you’re late for steph’s recital

tim heidecker describes how to turn piss into gold youtu.be/Exu1SEZE9Ug

I assume the tale is that a drug smuggling operation was thwarted when the mule got into a fistfight over a middle seat armrest and threw a neck pillow at a flight attendant.

say what y'all want but spirit was the popeyes of airlines and I will miss it

Name your top 15 TV shows ever, gut instincts only Futurama Top Gear News Radio The New Girl Star Trek TNG Game of Thrones The Simpsons The Daily Show Drive To Survive Archer Ted Lasso House M.D. Narcos Andor Great British Bake Off

Google co-founder Sergey Brin — the third-richest man on the planet — is reportedly spending $57M to defeat California's proposed billionaire's tax. So he and his fellow oligarchs can't afford a wealth tax, but they'll spend a fortune buying elections? See the problem...

10 favorite films, off the top of my head Alien Aliens Alien³ Alien Resurrection Prometheus Alien: Covenant Alien: Romulus Alien vs. Predator Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem Weekend At Bernies

the fun thing about school board elections is the opportunity to actively vote against neighbors you know on a first name basis

$20/hr in 1998 translating recordings of people saying ten random digits in different languages to help program voice recognition software for cell phones.

secured that bag

Add me to the Aggies donating under PTKU cuz they dont deal me psychic damage every fall. $100 + Dat Nguyen's #9 jersey number (+ fees) cuz hes the greatest Aggie football player of all time and was born in a refugee center! #charitibundibowl @hollyanderson.bsky.social @edsbs.bsky.social

Sooooo 👀 Without going into too much detail, I can tell you we've had WELL into five figures' worth of A&M #CharitibundiBowl donations flipped to PTKU this week already ... .... and they're STILL about to double up Texas. Don't you think that's funny? I sure do. edsbscharitybowl.com

@jeffreykeese.bsky.social hey geoff they got you in here

Shel Silverstein gave the best and only relationship advice that anyone ever needed

bluesky videos are posting again tiktok thread ENGAGE

was gonna tiktok thread but bluesky ain't posting videos

I wish 1) that I didn't understand every single word of this and 2) that it wasn't true. Alas.

It’s weird that Texas can’t do this and I’m forced to believe it’s because they’re either poor or because football doesn’t matter enough to them.

We've been waiting for this project for over a year. All merch is on The Onion Store: store.theonion.com?srsltid=AfmB... Story: www.cnn.com/2026/04/20/m...

Do I worry that people in my area will not get the joke here and judge me (in many incorrect ways)? Yes. Am I gonna get the hat anyway? Also yes.

1) Return Of The Jedi 2) Empire Strikes Back 3) Rogue One 4) A New Hope 5) Force Awakens 6) Last Jedi 7) Solo 8) Revenge of the Sith 9) Attack of the Clones 10) Rise of Skywalker 11) Phantom Menace

Kids are asleep and I'm just waiting for the fire to burn out. The frogs are making a raucous chorus. Y'all have a good night.

Exactly one year ago today:

this is a horror movie

calling Admiral Ackbar's race "Mon Calamari" is no more dignified than calling them squidbillies

this is how to poast.

"Clavicular's friend Androgenic reveals the pentastack looksmaxxers use to stream"

they're nice clothes but all the MOLLE webbing does chafe