“There is an assertive agency to self destruction” - @jasonkirk.fyi

My apologies to the college football playoff committee, body clocks are real and mine is completely fucked right now

One of those things could be “because it would be funny”

"oh look at me, I'm Ben McKenzie, I was in the OC and then I got a degree in economics and crypto is a scam but no one was doing anything about it so I made a documentary also I’m married to Morena Baccarin" man good for you

CTRL + Z

How are people going to fuck this I wonder

Experts have long said that what’s really needed in the Middle East is for someone to just jump in and cause chaos with no plan. Muscle Confusion!

How many times and ways can he hint at using nuclear weapons without saying the word?

A woman told me I was diabetic because have enough faith in God

leaders like trump are why sun tzu had to write a bunch of advice like "don't write your enemy a letter detailing what tactics you really don't want them to do"

I hope it just one guy who buys the stock market back up because he believes something Trump says and everyone else is just like “Jesus, when is Rick going to learn” and then they all sell and Rick loses $50B.

To show my support for James Talarico I am also follow a bunch of onlyfans girls on socials.

Every day of life under Trump is waking up to a headline like, “Wyoming is missing”

Gonzo and Grover are the Hemsworth brothers of the puppet world.

can’t wait for this epic matchup!

@sirfahrenheit.bsky.social lolol

Someone go ask Phony Stark if I can drive a Tesla to the doctor to have my “bone spurs” checked out.

I am also thinking about taking over the Strait of Hormuz

Why does a social media app even need a CEO

By being the Raiders and not drafting him

rt if u hate nazis and love boobs

Chat, is it good when the theme of every election is “throw the bastards out”?

What did Windows gain from hiding the fucking recycle bin

Part of Trump’s mass appeal (and of why he’s so dangerous) is that he really seems to share Joe Barstool’s worldview that there are no complex problems: Everything has a simple brute solution, which previous leaders were somehow too stupid or weak to deploy.

Happy international women’s day @dualipa.bsky.social i hope your boyfriend didn’t forget

As soon as she said yes I would have loud quit because how quickly I told my job I was done would have broken the sound barrier. But good for you Travis, you’re doing great.

WH press secretary Karoline Leavitt tells Fox News that Trump won’t rule out allowing the angel of death to visit every household and kill every firstborn male child.

Sharks…

it’s International Women’s Day, if you’ve ever saved anything off my media tab for your personal use, feel free to hit my apps lol 💋💋 v e n m o @ jjc245 c a s h a p p $ jjc2455

Noticing that @mobute.bsky.social hasn’t posted all day

It’s kind of funny because for 25 years I’ve thought “we talk about going to war with Iran a lot and never do, I wonder why not” and now it’s like “ohhhhh, even Dick Cheney’s middle east war boner couldn’t get him excited about dealing with everything going to war with Iran would entail.

btw about that pixar thing, the reason why these people think having a conversation about gay people with kids is difficult is because they don't know a way to say to their kid "gay people are normal but you are not allowed to be one" without sounding like a bigot (there is a reason for that)

All I know about F1 came from watching the movie F1 so I’m expecting Aston Martin to bring on Michael Schumacher in a month or so and he’ll win the last race of the season

Yet another of the things we can mark on the line graph of shit that started with Reagan.

THREAD: I got laid off from NYMag/Vulture after 14 years. The family lost 75% of income + medical. Now mzs.press bookstore, once a side project. is do-or-die for Judith & I. I feel weird telling you this because others are doing much worse. But if you could like or share this, we'd be so grateful!

this is what happens in your mentions when you make a viral post

How is many saints of Newark not on HBO max

The first time I had a student with two moms, I thought I might end up answering questions for some of the other kids, and I did. Those conversations were “She has two moms? Oh! I have one mom. When are we going to the playground?”

Dreams can come true.

Can I call and get them to put me on this list?

Having some of the most thoroughly redacted thoughts of my life.

Hamas was hiding in there

They are really hitting water infrastructure

we're the only good cult

I will not vote for Newsom because he does not believe I deserve human rights. If it comes down to JD Vance vs Newsom, who are both rabidly transphobic & support ICE, I will vote for a third party candidate. Luckily Democrats have another 2 years to make sure we select a better, viable candidate!

IF Gavin Newsom is on a ballot THEN me and many others will refuse to vote for him THEREFORE instead of bitching at me and others like me YOU should take the *years* you have and make sure that doesn't happen if you actually fucking care BECAUSE my position is immutable

😤😤😤

Really fucking lame day on here, I think everyone is bummed about the weekend being an hour shorter. The only thing we’ve gotten all day is someone trying to get attention by saying she mutes wrestling fans.