Me: "No-one has ever suffered like I suffer!" The priest, pointing at the huge cross with a dying Jesus on it: "Jay, it is quite literally Good Friday today." Me: "I said nobody ever suffered 'LIKE' I suffer. Jesus never had to answer an email, did he?? Honestly! I think I'd rather be crucified!"

My favorite mother’s day cartoon from the stupendous @rosemarymosco.com

evangelicals have finally created. the golden calf. from the classic bible story “don’t create a golden calf”

The Seed Song

Beaverton gets this wrong as this type of census-nerd is, and remains, an absolute catch.

I know this describes a lot of people on here.

My Cat's in the Cradle hot take is that the son didn't actually grow up like his dad: the son is clearly off taking care of his own kids who have the flu, and the dad is too self-absorbed to see the caregiving work.

The previous owners of our house left a beautiful front garden for us. Unfortunately, they also planted multiple trumpet vine plants in this garden.

A reminder that this is why we make fun of The Odyssey. The book would not exist if Odysseus was not such a complete chaos goblin who was busy causing problems for himself by arguing with Gods and being a shit navigator. There is no way to make an extremely serious movie out of this material.

I know @actioncookbook.com just did a piece on this, but stuff like this breaks my heart. As seen on the NJ Reddit.

This kind of mixed use urban planning is illegal in America

oooh, but TIL that the planetarium at McMaster regularly has kid-friendly shows, so extra points for Hamilton.

This has been so depressing as a parent raising space-interested kids in this city. We got to go to the planetarium at the Ontario Science Centre once before it closed pre-COVID. ... meanwhile the only planetarium my youngest has been to is in Schenectady, NY.

Me, describing the cats: They are jerks and one of them pooped all over the floor. Him, not understanding the context: I told you not to listen to the news in the morning.

My grandfather was from Iroquois Ontario, a town that was entirely flooded by the Seaway. His childhood home was one of the only ones remaining from before.

“God, Collings, I hate to start a Monday with a case like this.”

I get a lot of AI slop book marketing emails, but this is the first time I have ever been . . . mistaken for Jane Austen.

Yes, this. Especially when we need to get anywhere fast. Our cargo bike is basically a substitute minivan.

I told my gyno about Yeeturus parties and she was delighted by the idea.

Doctor: I’m sorry to tell you that the best option for you is a hysterectomy. Middle-aged cis woman, hope slowly dawning in her eyes: …Yeeterus? Middle-aged cis woman’s friends, leaping out from behind the furniture and dangling from the ceiling: YEETERUS! YEETERUS! YEETERUS! YEETERUS!

Eleanor of Aquitaine

Kids in the UK combing the aisles for high-tech AI-spoofing software

Quebec artists: “How about we write a harrowing tale of the pitfalls of stardom and the loneliness that it brings once the excitement of novelty falls away and you realize you’ve abandoned all your friends and family—of course, told as the story of a seal that makes balls spin on its nose.”

We have an *extremely* important announcement to make. From Wednesday, we will be launching our puffin live cam, coming to you from the Farne Islands. So you can watch puffins all day long. In celebration, please enjoy this clip of puffins being really busy for 39 seconds straight.

embracing Canadian heritage to escape a dangerously destabilizing US: meh embracing Canadian heritage so i can be one of the Helens in the all tranny reboot of Kids in the Hall: *lasereyes Kevin McDonald*

I think about this a lot when it comes to childhood nostalgia. My five year old will run over to play at his friend's house after school where they will hunt worms and, yes, drink from a hose. It's like posts going "life was better when" and it's the Scholastic Book Fair, which is still a thing!

Sabres are Toronto’s team now. Oh Canada.

I think about this all the time.

"A recent study claiming to describe more than 1,600 possible cases of a “socially contagious syndrome” was retracted in June for failing to obtain ethics approval from an institutional review board."

.... What fresh hell is this

Writers will spend entire decades of their life trying to write something even a fraction as brilliant, punchy, and impact full as Chappell Roan writing "she's got, she's got a way/she got, she got away"

one day, I will remember if the "the" in front of Yukon is official or unofficial but today is not that day.

One of my favorite Oscar Wilde anecdotes is that he once did a reading and Q&A in a mine. With miners. Like down a mineshaft. He had this crazy idea that everybody of every occupation deserved and could benefit from art and information

Bring back the ancient knowledge

Happy May Day ✊

ANSWER: Why, it's the 2009 album "XXXX" by BC-based indie-rock/dance-punk outfit "You Say Party! We Say Die!" With 14M views, it's the 8th-most visited Wikipedia page for any album from 2007-2023. And the reason is because of accidental clicks from horny Googlers who typed "XXXX" instead of "XXX"

POP QUIZ: What is the most-visited Wikipedia page for a Canadian album in history? (If it's any consolation, you are never, ever going to guess the correct answer, it's not Bieber or Drake or Shania or anyone)

trying to play peekaboo with my child but he's a European diplomat: me: where'd daddy go? baby: we must articulate a post-daddy vision of strategic autonomy me: peekaboo! baby: my historic relationship with my father is stable despite recent troubles

Vivid childhood memory: the kids' baseball league would have an annual banquet and the air would be thick with smoke from all the parents. My mother would make us sit near the door in order for us to breathe.

TIL that the Sabres deliberately picked the Canadian spelling of their team name instead of "sabers"

I’ve seen enough, give the cup to the Sabres.

@slowseptember.bsky.social happy birthday!! I hope you're having a lovely day!

A British king named Charles lecturing the Americans about checks on executive power. Pour one out for the historians and satirists.

personally I believe that you should not be allowed to run for a elected office if you’ve never worked in the food service sector

The Temple Emanu-El-Beth Sholom in Westmount showing which religion matters most in Montréal.

It's the United States Army Old Guard Fife and Drum Corps. These are American troops, dumbass.

how many of you immediately see the shapes from Paddle to the Sea

It is free municipal compost season, aka the best season of the year.