The only good thing to come out of the dipshit Odyssey discourse is that at one point I commented “if we’re worried about accuracy, then Jason Mantzoukas should be playing Odysseus,” and now I can’t get it out of my head 😄

The news is always "This absolute fool was dismantled in hearings today. He is manifestly unqualified for the position and would be an existential danger if confirmed. Disaster. He is set to be confirmed immediately." When you ask why everyone is furious and exhausted all the time, this is why.

Hey I’m in this! I posted this a little while ago but ICYMI, here’s a chunk of the argument such as it is!

Everyone who lives and dies by this sport is sick. This is sick.

I do get the sense that literal millions of people are screaming this at the tv right now

The most England looking man of all time scores to put England ahead. That’s just good writing.

I can’t unsee this now

If both sides agree, one player per team should get to take the field with a baseball bat

Living with a Brit rn is hearing, from upstairs, the tinny sounds of “it’s coming home” playing with zero irony from a phone as said Brit is changing into his jersey 🫠

I’m a poetry professor and my sibling is a pediatric psychiatrist so I’d probably be fine tbh

Every time I read a story about gynecology it's always something like "doctors discovered women could experience pain in 1989 but decided not to act on this knowledge for 20 years"

This does seem to get at the heart of it, yeah

please think about what explanation means

TOO MAD, turns out

May: oh boy, I'm going to get so much writing done this summer July: lol

Me: All I need is a seminar table. You know, a big rectangular table with enough seats for the students enrolled. Them: How about a TV screen in every direction you look? Me: Really, just a tabl— Them: Triangular tables so students aren't facing you OR each other? And with staggered heights?

"I'll Just Put the Game On in the Background": A Memoir

Good Lord

As women, we juggle so many responsibilities. Unfortunately, I don't know how to juggle and I'm throwing balls in every direction, hoping they don't come back.

As I was saying

Don’t like to make too much of this, but this whole game really has a lot of that everything-Trump-touches-turns-into-the-absolute-stupidest-shit-you’ve-ever-seen thing going on

Oh haha and now BEL are putting on their two most terrifying players. Neat

I’m usually bored by the “wait til they encounter a real test” discourse but, uh, welp

God there cannot be a national chant worse than the thudding boorishness of “U-S-A U-S-A” — just this absolute void of imagination, which actually doesn’t track for this country! That’s as patriotic as I’m going to be about it!

"I'm Johnny Knoxville and this is Mexico-England!"

Wow, this is chaos (complimentary)

Blessings to the person who referred to Haaland as “Norwegian megafauna”.

Despite being written off by many, Neymar steps up and proves he can still be a pure wank at the highest level

we’re about to see the first american struck by lightning, fireworks, and a fighter jet at the same time

July 4th is very rough on my dog (he is a royalist and considers George Washington a traitor)

sorry, we're deciding this one by goals per capita

Messi goal but for Cape Verde

SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going— SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti— SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE

American Pope has turned all our brains into scrambled eggs (complimentary)

We shall avenge the Congo and crush the perfidious Fleming and dastardly Walloon

Watching this with an English partner is a pain in the ass, in case anyone was wondering

I am so angry rn

fun fact: Balogun in Yoruba basically means "general" or "commander" but most literally translates to "war dad"

It's like watching Prince William climb into the octagon and start laying waste to professional MMA fighters. Your brain simply refuses to accept what your eyes are seeing

an incredible game, heartbreaking in the end but what is anybody supposed to do about kane!?

Anyone who played youth sports in essentially any capacity knows exactly the kind of parents being described and, uh, to put it lightly I do not think that we should be organizing public policy around their ‘concerns’

Greetings from the Rocky Mountains! The future is now. 🫤

canada haven’t advanced this far on US soil since the war of 1812

one reason teachers sometimes assign things that teenagers can't appreciate until decades later is they figure that at least they'll know it exists--for some kids, high school english is the last time they're assigned books