Me: I really should become more culturally current so I can better connect with my peers and the kids in my life. Also me, seeing that The Patty Duke Show has been added to Kanopy: 2026 can eat shit.

Hi. I'm on here because I'm procrastinating scrubbing the toilets. Each like gives me another reason to pay attention to my phone and ignore the toilets. Will being here make me happy? No. Every second that ticks by, I hate myself more for not doing the toilets. And you for enabling me.

I put off watching The Godfather for years because ugh, everyone loves it, it's on every list, how boring. Of course then I watched it and oh, it's brilliant, well naturally everyone loves it, not so boring after all.

Lotta well-read citizens of Bluesky getting riled by the bad opinions of anonymous strangers with under 300 followers. There's gotta be warnings about this type of behaviour in at least one of those hundred novels.

Wait you guys can read

Tonight's rewatch: THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO MUCH (1956). One of my favourite films as a kid, but I'd forgotten most of it and now have the original more fresh in my memory. Less cool than the '34 (no broken chairs, for starters), but gosh do I still enjoy Hitch in his leisurely colour era.

They should invent a mouse that doesn't want to be caught by your cat at midnight.

Norma Shearer in a publicity still for Strangers May Kiss (1931)

It might be the one below (HIGH AND LOW), with very tight competition from YOJIMBO.

That's why you'll never win a Nobel.

Am taking a first aid course and have learned that I shouldn't perform CPR if decapitation has occurred.

When Bluesky doesn't like my posts...

Write one sentence of an email, one little treat. Write second sentence of email, two little treats. And so forth.

Asking "Do I have anything in my teeth?" and then revealing a tooth-sized television playing THE GANG'S ALL HERE on a loop.

The original Black Christmas, its bleak hopelessness feels like a well worn-in cozy sweater.

Been driving around with a CD of Hitchcock scores this week and it makes my banal tasks feel full of threat and intrigue.

you guys gotta stop getting riled up by random accounts that only have 140 followers

Raising my hand to see if I actually need to participate in the first aid course because I watched the first three episodes of The Pitt.

What's unhinged is not THE SOUND OF MUSIC, but how many times I've watched it.

One of the great things about ROCKFORD is that it’s not in a hurry to get anywhere. Sometimes we just watch Jim drive around Southern California while some weird synthy version of the theme plays. Even the chases seem to be happening at a relaxed pace. Total hangout show.

Have had lots of reasons to think about loss recently, and the conclusion I'm coming to is we should be goofy as much and as often as we can get away with.

Setting up some security questions with the bank and they asked me for the name of my favourite childhood friend and I went "uhhhhhhhh" for about 10 seconds, not because I didn't have any friends, but because I didn't want to betray anyone every time I call the bank.

Close call this morning. Nearly confused Roger Miller and Roger Whittaker in casual conversation.

Went to a Mother's Day sing-along screening of Sound of Music at Vidiots yesterday. Tons of kids there, having the absolute time of their lives. At the part where Plummer threatens to take away his children's dinner, a little boy in the front yelled "Straight to dessert" & it absolutely CRUSHED.

Fennell's WUTHERING HEIGHTS. Baffling. Not because it's particularly weird or provoking, but because it has a clear aim to be both of those things and gives up on itself in every scene. Don't hate the disgust-eroticism connection forming a foundation of an adaptation. It just doesn't get there.

POTTING SEASON! I didn't buy every coleus variety the greenhouse had in some weirdly ascetic display of restraint, so I'm gonna have to go back.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms who are doing the best they can! And to everyone who is separated from their mom by death, by choice, or for any other reason: you are not alone. LIFE IS COMPLICATED!

My mom on her way to work at the hospital, 1986. She was usually the person behind the camera and was self-conscious about her smile, so photos like this are so special. She was the gentlest, most compassionate person you can imagine. I'm thinking about all the people that smile comforted today.

Have BritBox this month to watch a couple shows and it's just nice to see that every UK woman at retirement age is handed a bucket hat, a grey trenchcoat, and a handbook of facial expressions to use when you don't want to let on that you know you're serving tea to a murderer.

Drove an hour for a haircut that's actually two weeks from now, but on the plus side, I did use the trip to buy underwear in the totally wrong size, which I noticed after driving the hour home.

me when I say something utterly stupid to my brother and then frantically tell him he's not allowed to make fun of me

Every day I get up, announce that I am ready for retirement, and nobody does anything about it.

It started with a mission: build something that works better than you’d expect but ultimately doesn’t really help. Hi, I’m the guy that invented the magnets at the bottom of the shower curtain

Instead of Botox or face tape or slugging I’ve decided to hold my angry forehead scrunch in place with a chip clip every night to deepen the lines and more effectively speed up the goblinification process.

Alone in the office for a bit, so I can do all the aggressive chair shimmying to Aretha Franklin I want.

Do you ever forgot that your younger siblings can offer you wisdom? Oh right, you're nearly 40 and haven't done a Power Rangers kick to my gut in decades.

Joshua Henry, take me awaaaaaaaay.

Starting a charity to help rid people of internalized Bee Gees hatred.

I could never fall in love with an AI. A janky animatronic doing a bad Cary Grant impersonation? Yeah, probably.

Carole Lombard, press agent, 1938

I see your offering of "Mother's Day savings" and raise you "75% off if you've got a dead mom."

Imagine a totally fucking cool Canadian dog just turned up right now and sorted all of your problems out tho.x

Ah yes, signs of spring are in the air.

Alberta separatists separate Albertans from their privacy

Instead of falling in love with an AI, you could just keep saying goodnight to your childhood teddy bear like a normal person.

I hopped out of bed without pressing the snooze even once this morning. My productivity secret? I'd have to say it's the carbon dioxide I exhale to lure a single mosquito to my ear at 7:30 am.

The way I would throw it all away for one coffee machine designed in the 1970s

It isn't exactly the most relaxing view when you're trying to read in bed. #Caturday

Spaghetti aglio e olio, MVP of my life.

After an hour of speaking with TD Insurance robots, hold music, and crackly-phoned humans to whom I offered gobs of personal information before finally hearing that they couldn't help me, I'll admit that my closing "thank you" was perhaps less hearty than usual.