Idk man, could be that a bunch of 19-year-olds who were too young to cut their teeth on the eruptions in 2020 got organized in 2024-25, and then were battered mercilessly by police officers with batons and guns. They got expelled, suspended, sent to detention camps. That does something to someone

Exhausted Nation Lacks Strength To Form Opinion On Donald Glover Being Voice Of Yoshi https://theonion.com/exhausted-nation-lacks-strength-to-form-opinion-on-donald-glover-being-voice-of-yoshi/

The Defense Minister of Israel says it was "blood libel" to go after Israeli soldiers caught on camera raping a Palestinian.

Took me 20 seconds to find a campus protest nyunews.com/news/2026/03...

It’s funny to imagine this kind of breathless reporting of everything that dribbles out of a CEO’s mouth being applied to as-seen-on-TV products. Oh my God, with the Slap Chop, humans will never have to dice again. It’s possible that our hands will evolve into flippers within a generation.

"the genocide people" aka the people angry about the democrats arming a genocide. good lord

Why aren't we seeing widespread campus protests against the USA-Israeli war in Iran now that the Cheetoh is president? Hmm? Hmmmm? Methinks they all just hated Handsome Joe Biden.

Feed oil to salmon. Feed salmon to cannon.

DOM TORETTO: we’ve got one more mission HOBBS: [throws file on desk] JOHN CENA: … you’re gonna reopen the strait of Hormuz? Sounds like a suicide mission DOM [smiling wryly]: why do you think we’re here

personally I would not let the world know the US has run out of bombs

This might be the greatest split-screen ever broadcast. They’ll play this in museums in future. (🎥 LCI 🇫🇷)

Life on a microscope slide

honorable mention for "i think i'm qualified to determine which grants should be terminated bc i've read books" "oh yea, which books qualify you?" "there are no books"

Lawyer: You don't regret that people might have lost income? Cavanaugh (DOGE): No, I think it was more important to reduce the federal deficit from two trillion dollars to close to zero. Lawyer: Did you reduce the federal deficit? Cavanaugh: No, we didn't.

RIP Ea-nāṣir You would have loved ripping off tech component companies.

Aquatic dragon - process

"Where is Strait of Hormuz?" "Strait of Hormuz how get around?" "Strait of Hormuz, alternative?"

This was *the* case pro-Israel defenders would point at to say "See? Israel takes human rights violations seriously!" And after all that — including mobs of Israeli rioters and politicians storming a military base to protest the arrest of these soldiers — it's being dropped.

It's awesome that people still like to say that this is some liberal democracy with an independent justice system that holds people accountable

now would be a good time for some national football orgs to grow a fucking spine and say they’re going to boycott

Following “Islamic barbarism” with Stop Antisemitism really is a perfect encapsulation of the entire Zionist cause

“This is the nightmare that I’ve had—literally had nightmares woken up in a cold sweat about. The government has kidnapped one of my friends.”

National Guard units are still wandering around DC, and as far as I can tell they do... nothing. But this morning I saw a group of four CamoKids walking down the street, and when they got to the corner they did a little formation, and I just thought it was the funniest thing.

Krav MAGA

wait. wait. everyone hold on. i've solved it

This is a deranged thing to say to someone wtf. www.pcgamer.com/games/fps/ov...

Me driving the oil to the pick up point

Night bluesky

A good gag on Strip Law is the Italian-Irish-American bar has a neon flag on the wall where the red bar flips to orange and back again

Yeah well I mean, >85% of Democratic voters think this is a stupid fucking idea, >75% think negatively of Israel, and even >80% of Democratic members of Congress weren't stupid enough to vote against the WPR. Sorry but you're a sucker if you think you can just cry and appeal to "the big tent".

"U.S. officials called London insurers and brokers, trying to figure out how the market operates, industry insiders said." When applied to the current administration, I urge caution in using terms like "plans," "strategy," "policy," or "doctrine." www.wsj.com/finance/u-s-...

Hey, ya know what any DECENT reporter would do? Immediately, without waiting to be called on, go "Why haven't they been arrested yet then?"

At this point it's barely even a boycott, I've just stopped thinking of Target as a place to buy the things I used to buy at Target.

its only been like a week and this is already one of the stupidest things anyone's ever posted

tough look for a man with a line of antiperspirant deodorant

Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey vetoed a plan to give residents more time to pay their rent in the wake of the 12-week ICE surge that left many people scrambling to pay their bills.

A D.C. teacher’s aide pleaded guilty this week to forcing a nonverbal autistic student to eat hot sauce as punishment in a case that highlighted scrutiny of how the city’s schools treat students with disabilities. https://wapo.st/4uj9XuV

Great point — I said the Black Mage can be promoted to a Ninja. I was wrong, and you’re right to call me out on that. The Black Mage can be promoted to a Red Wizard.

“On Tuesday, [a 14-year-old] girl from #Marlborough with no criminal history was detained by immigration agents, [U.S. Rep. Lori Trahan] said. The girl was apparently used to ’coerce’ her father into turning himself in during an ’overnight attempt,’ according to Trahan.” #Massachusetts

i do not eat at chilis but the next time I'm in a shithole where it's the best place to eat I'm headed to the gas station to buy whatever's on the sausage rollers

I wrote about an all-time favorite media genre of mine: the Sleeper Cell Panic story. It addition to helping prop up the war effort against Iran and pressuring Dems to abandon their (token) DHS reforms, it has the added bonus of promoting mindless paranoia and racial profiling.

A New Hampshire Republican state representative from Hillsborough is refusing to apologize after using the term "Final Solution" to disparage an event being put on by a Jewish colleague.

omg

According to @status.news, another senior journalist, reporter Scott Macfarlane, has quit CBS rather than head in the direction Bari Weiss wants to go. A big factor: the network's meek treatment of January 6th. www.status.news/p/scott-macf... MacFarlane covered the Justice Department.

just checking in on ADL CEO jonathan greenblatt

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" "Chat, we were based, and chopped"