tapas for everybody

banned from my familys watch party for yelling that the boys should kiss

U.S. Military To Test Troops’ Testosterone Levels https://theonion.com/u-s-military-to-test-troops-testosterone-levels/

They have a castle with a slide!

It has been criminally underreported but Kelsey Pfendler has just rowed solo across the Pacific Ocean from the US coast to Hawaii in record time. A 2,400-mile unsupported journey in 43 days, 17 hours, and 55 minutes. Notably beating the Men’s record by 9 whole days.

DAMN IT

I know it puts me out of step with a lot of liberals and progressives but I am 10000% against assisted dying. Our society just can't be trusted to only use it for easing the passing of the already dying. It turns "incurable conditions" almost instantly, including bpd which is now debated by psychs.

Everyone stop doing discourse and look at this Richard Scarry car rolling through town rn

can't stop thinking about this post. it's the most perfectly annoying amount of money to spend bc it so easily stacks to kick your fucking ass

At the Reflecting Pool and guys

Hot Water Summer

bisexual final boss

The people cry out for Jarnathan

“Half-men half-brioche are not the best suited for action”

A wonderful cat

Happy Mother's Day

Fair

This is the future that liberals want.

My progeny, many years in the future: This phone plan has been in our family for generations, ever since your great-great grandfather refused to grow up and get his own. And now it passes to you.

Aha, found it

being alive in 2026 is mostly just seeing if you can get out of the depressed anxious funk the last crisis put you in before the next one hits

i tried to watch a hockey game tonight but had to turn it off pretty quickly. within one minute flat they'd already broken basically every rule of basketball

BLOOB FOR THE BLOOB GOD!

Me: "What was that movie with the Dollar Store Slenderman and the kids..." @marshmallowknight.bsky.social: "FUCK THAT MOVIE!"* *The Tall Man (2012)

"I will face God and walk backwards into Hell"

Cite the deep magic to me, witch. I was there when it was written and I think it’s important to credit our sources.

Oh? Maybe this one that would work

this did numbers on tumblr and i feel it here a lot

We all seem to have forgotten one of the most truly delightful and surprising indie interactive fiction drops of the last decade. 17776 is ostensibly about football, which is why at first glance I thought I wouldn't like it. But it really makes me smile, and the world could use that right now.

friend, this is Marcus Junius Brutus CAESAR has declared himself DICTATOR FOR LIFE and MUST BE STOPPED can you rush a donation of ten denarii today to show that you STAND WITH THE REPUBLIC?

If you can't draw Rouge the Bat fucking three dudes at once what's even the point.

no it doesn't, 1996 was 10 years ago, tops. anyway it's a time travel movie, that probably the cause of the confusion

Opening AO3

Post a pic you took, no context, to bring some zen to the feed.

Normal people aren't allowed to write about erotica readers anymore I think

"Drop on the deck and flop like a fish, motherfucker."

I need this for mental health reasons

Had a dream that there was global panic about the world running out of oxygen, Nintendo was the only video game company to make a statement about it, and the internet collectively spent its final hours on Earth debating whether Nintendo was being genuine or not

Me at 20: I’ll have it all figured out by the time I’m 40. Me at 40: wtf do you mean they rearranged the grocery store

“I’m mad I can’t understand Bad Bunny’s lyrics because they’re not in English” my brother millions of metalheads around the world have been happily listening to incomprehensible Finnish shrieks and Japanese death grunts since we were teens, you’re just boring and racist

i think we all need to step back and realize that peak art was made when neolithic pot in the shape of a pig was fired

Guys I know everything is incredibly bad but please stop for a moment and enjoy this photo of my fucking amazing cat. Look at this shape. The box behind him is his thinking box, he sits in it and thinks

it is frankly exhausting to know that a better world is possible

My cancelable take on Sorcerer Twitter is that more people who do circle and rune work should get into civil engineering. We just need like 6 people who know how to lay out the Occult Lines of the Nazarite to get jobs in city planning. They make the bike trails the right shape, bam, everyone wins.