Death By Lightning ripped, give that casting director every award

I have punished the chickens for their insolence today with shawarma

Texas has to give Arch a concussion at halftime if they wanna come back

A cool thing about almost certainly going into the Texas game 11-0 is that I already want to jump into a volcano

South Carolina has to just go home for the rest of the year imo

most of you need to either start going to church or stop going to church, but whatever you're doing isn't working.

/getting the most normal work request via email "C'mon man, why are you doing this to me?"

Every South Carolina matchup preview is so Jimbo-coded. Three or four different versions of "Player X is one of the most talented players in the country. They are not having a good season, but it really seems like they should be."

I've advocated for a long time that a functional justice system would look like the Chappelle's Show sketch where white collar and blue collar crime outcomes flip.

The last 2.5 years of Bluesky were a steady build up to "criticism of Jeffrey Epstein's writing ability is ableist." Congrats everyone, we did it.

Slaughterhouse Five affected me so much I bought a poster made out of the text years ago.

This burst from my skull fully formed like Athena

God help me, but in a fight between Brian Kelly and monied LSU boosters, I hope he gets every cent they owe him.

SEATTLE!!! We’ve now taken the lead by 91 votes! 🤯 This thing is certainly not over! Over 1,000 ballots have been challenged, so if you haven’t tracked your ballot yet get on it! Our trusty volunteers have been working hard to "cure" ballots so they count! We're so close!

People trying to dust off their old "Avatar had no cultural impact" posts after the second one also made a billion dollars are the Hiroo Onoda of movie discourse. Pack it in soldier, the war ended and you lost.

At brunch with a rowdy crowd

Tonight's movie is the 2010 True Grit, and it's still one of the best westerns ever made

It's upsetting how tense even blowouts feel when stakes are high

My wife's craftiness is reaching dangerous levels

Beating Drink and his stupid face always feels extra good

I think we might not go 8-4

Obviously the defense helped, but scoring 31 in against this team is impressive as hell

Owens called game

Elko you son of a bitch

Tell me someone grabbed a clip of that Boba Fett Mizzou fan punching his buddy in the nuts

KC fast

Mizzou is doing a lot of things well, but a true freshman making his first start vs Mike Elko is not fair

Lmao incredible play

Investing my $20 YTTV credit in the local economy

After playing Arky and LSU, Mizzou's ability to actually tackle stands out

Grunk-a Lunka dunketiana How the hell are you blowing this Indiana?

Perhaps it isn't actually that hard to not suck shit against Mississippi State

We’re on the right track! Make sure you track your ballot to confirm it is accepted, NOT challenged. Check our links in bio to do so! More votes will be counted on Monday!

Grocery flyers with threatening auras

They're rebooting The Prisoner again?

SMH, Tacoma got jealous of Seattle's bowmouth guitarfish and had to get one of their own

@foundingfahters u like what u see

So many people this week have stood up and said "no, this all fucking sucks, stop it"

"You've got long eyelashes, so you need to open your eyes extra wide" Ma'am, this is an optometrist office, not a bar, control yourself.

This is the inspiration I needed to continue ignoring FedEx every time they try to get me to pay a tariff on something they already delivered.

Now that it's over, we can safely say that dumbest people on earth blowing a bunch of money on polymarket because millenials delayed their early vote for a Halloween sticker is one of the funniest moments in American political history.

a guy just called into wnyc and spent the whole time saying “mamdani doesn’t have the experience to run this city” and then they asked him who he voted for and he said “oh i voted for zohran, i hate trump he’s a criminal” lol

Me right now

Manifesting a Katie Wilson election night lead so hard right now. Can't deal with a week of tracking last minute ballot drops

Last night, I hit the doors, taking nothing for granted. I’m proud of the campaign we’ve run, the coalition we’ve built, and the vision for our city that we’ve created together. Vote by 8 pm today by dropping your ballot in a dropbox. Find the dropbox nearest you at the link in bio. #thisisyourcity

Someday, this NYC mayoral election's gonna end

I was feeling kinda ambivalent about Cheney because it took so long, but then I saw the age, did some quick math, and felt better

I probably make this 15-20 times a year. If you eat it with some French bread, it makes a pretty solid 6 adult servings. www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alto...

The Millennial Mandate of Heaven has been upheld

All the jokes about Freeze not getting to lose to Pavia again are a significant factor in why Freeze isn't getting the chance to lose to Pavia again