paige
@bonerwizard.bsky.social
📤 4571
📥 861
📝 871
replaced all my CPAP parts tonight
10 minutes ago
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Toddlers when you ask them if they pooped their diaper
about 12 hours ago
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this is who they’re selling the 50 yr mortgages to
1 day ago
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The Amish should sue her
1 day ago
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Imagine being these people and choosing to be in the public eye every few years. Imagine being these people and wanting to be perceived by anyone at all.
1 day ago
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3 days ago
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Pluribus good
4 days ago
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10
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*3yo, through tears* I’m running out of poop
5 days ago
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21
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I’m always saying this
5 days ago
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6 days ago
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would be more like The Long Talk if it were women right
6 days ago
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baby woke up at 4:30am again
7 days ago
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this song came on the random Christmas playlist we were listening to tonight and my 3yo said this song “has soul”?? I asked him to clarify several times and he said “soul”. Son what the fuck are you talkin about
7 days ago
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this is what Andrew Cuomo looks like to me
7 days ago
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loading . . .
7 days ago
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such a fine line between being comfortably caffeinated and what I call the🚨 heart attack danger zone 🚨
7 days ago
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9
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Here comes Lynne Cheney
8 days ago
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anybody got eyes on Klum
11 days ago
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3yo says he wants his s’mores “raw”. Hell yeah son. That’s easier for me.
11 days ago
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unlocked a memory of drawing the godsmack symbol around my belly button in 6th grade
12 days ago
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doing pelvic floor therapy and my woke therapist said I can’t piss hard and fast anymore
12 days ago
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Think I saw this one at a Cracker Barrel
14 days ago
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I don’t know if this is true and what I’m about to say will never happen BUT: picture in your mind’s eye if you will someone winning an Oscar for playing Kevin Federline.
17 days ago
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Wendy’s promise that it’s always fresh, never frozen 🌈
18 days ago
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god he’s sleeping with it
add a skeleton here at some point
22 days ago
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hell yeah
22 days ago
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3yo wanted this
23 days ago
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It’s crazy to me that kids are doing the 6-7 thing because is 69 not the funny number anymore? I don’t know what 67 means but I doubt it’s funnier than what 69 means.
24 days ago
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24 days ago
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3yo keeps misgendering the Chucky animatronic at Home Depot
25 days ago
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kinda wild they said this is a lion
26 days ago
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26 days ago
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don’t remember making this
27 days ago
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Raccoon Facebook group really paying off
27 days ago
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It’s Dude the cat
28 days ago
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bout to go rice mode
about 1 month ago
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I’m a little stoned trying to get my kid to go to bed and he keeps saying there’s a monster in here and I’m like… what if he’s right
about 1 month ago
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Me: can I take your picture by this cabin? 3yo: yep
about 1 month ago
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about 1 month ago
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ᵃ ᶠᵉʷ ˢᵐᵃˡˡ ᵇᵉᵉʳˢ
about 1 month ago
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12
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I’ll be your father figure I drink that brown liquor
about 1 month ago
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well ok
about 1 month ago
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12
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about 1 month ago
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9
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October 1st is the day I will watch Ma in my Ma shirt
about 1 month ago
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3yo loves listening to songs from the Disney haunted mansion ride. I hated it at first but now I’m kinda
about 1 month ago
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9
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Tom Cruise circling the White House in a chopper again
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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9
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he was so old that when he was born it was the church of early-day saints
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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about 1 month ago
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My 3yo may not look like me but every time he threads my phone charger through his toes I’m like…that’s my boy.
about 1 month ago
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about 2 months ago
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