my 'i left Epstein's island with all my children' t-shirt is prompting a lot of questions answered by the t-shirt

It's so cool how a bunch of kids realized there was a genocide in the middle east in 2023 and now suddenly every major company and government is tripping over their own dicks to turn the world into an Orwllian surveillance state so that never happens again.

please give us more personal data please please please please c’mon you’re being so mean dude. we only got breached like three times. we’re NOT going to sell it man please please please plus its for like safety? so you’re the one who looks stupid right now come on pleaaaaaase just one data point bro

'did Trump personally arrange Epstein's murder?' misses the point, not just because whether he killed himself or was assassinated, the death was very obviously facilitated by the authorities, but because nobody with that much power actually has to say 'kill this man for me'. it happens independently

you know I really think there's decent chance 2026 is the year the consent manufacturing machine overheats and explodes

watch as starmer suddenly soars to the new height of 'not constantly shooting himself in the feet for paedophiles'

I think this is it. The most guardian article to ever exist.

'my good friend the leader of the opposition wants to paint the picture that I knew about Sir Mandelson's public affiliation with the world's most powerful sex trafficker, but what she's once again failed to grasp is that there was unfortunately no way of knowing this public information at the time'

The Labour right would rather lose with the financial support of paedophiles than win without it.

watching elite consensus-makers egg each other on in seeing who is willing to put their name on the "pedophilia isnt that bad actually" article is so cool. that used to happen in private smoke-filled parlors! now it happens in substack comments sections. that's digital democracy in action

its really crazy just to think about how much of recent history has been about wealthy and powerful people demanding access to the bodies of young girls

The executions of Alex Pretti and Renée Good thoroughly demonstrate the precision and effectiveness of the Palantir system. by Peter Thiel

10 points to anybody who can place this obscure toy

CNN ANCHOR: As President Trump's approval ratings drop, how can Democrats harness the protest movements we see today? HAKEEM JEFFRIES: Well I call him President Parachute Pants ok? Too much ballroom. Yet he's fumbling the ball of protecting healthcare. So I urge all Americans to obey federal agents.

Honestly, all musical theatre is a compromise on quality. If you want good music, go to a concert. If you want good acting/writing see a play. If you want inferior versions of both, but simultaneously, check out musical theatre.

RFK JR (sitting alone in the dark imagining teenagers shooting unimpressive watery loads, as older men, mostly right around his own age, blast monster wads visibly teeming with powerful sperms): hey alexa, tell chatGPT to have my assistant schedule a press conference ALEXA: Sorry, I didn't get that.

what i don't understand is how I've got access to like 8 different streaming services and each of them only has 20 movies. there's more movies than that! if you made me guess I'd say there's WAY more than that!

been crying at this for the past hour

they can't think of anything better to do with the plagiarism robot they're just boiling the ocean to pass time

Don't you think Geert Wilders looks tired

My novel is a hopecore story using Found Frenemies, Smart But Dumb, and My God It's Full Of Stars tropes

A conspiracy theory I have is that people put hot sauces like Tabasco on everything not so much for the pepper as they do for the benefits of adding vinegar to a dish and that’s what they should be focusing on and recognizing. This conspiracy theory has not gotten traction due to “lack of interest”

my 'he's not calling for the murder of his political opponents' t-shirt is raising a lot of questions answered by the shirt

extremely weird that the House of Games contestant pretend that they've all gone home between episodes

absolute workhorse of a reaction image from over 100 years ago

It is an unacceptable personal violation for your private device to play adverts out loud where other people can hear them.

shiny new gallery page commissions open somebody hire us

You can’t call him Prince Andrew anymore. Because of Woking.

"i dont want to eat a kebab, i want fish and chips" well sorry little buddy but we're at the kebab shop and you're twelve

i don't think a promising young woman's life should be ruined just because some guy dressed up in flammable clothes, chose to be there, asked for it and then regretted after

dear AI please make me a movie. It must depict the deflating spirit of technological optimism with a focus on the toxification of interpersonal relationships through digital media. please make the movie surprising and confronting, and place it in the cultural context of an existing artist's career.

"wait, that Gareth Roberts?"

it's not FOR us

i like that reddit's added a little automated search-link function so that, if someone mentions a website, it turns the name of the site in their comment into a hyperlink, so that you can click it and be directed to a reddit internal search for the name of the website that says 'sorry, no results'

Mahmood yesterday, in response to the idea that protecting targeted communities from violence is more useful than arresting grannies, said 'I have no truck with the argument that, somehow, police resources are better deployed elsewhere' and my brain is a thin slurry dribbling off the tip of my chin

When it comes to intimidating racist protests including outside our homes or place of worship, Black and Asian people are supposed to just accept it and the government saying “we hear you” and “it is right to protest this” and “I love flags me”. No thought of “cumulative impact” for us!

Can't wait to see the blooper reels from Tilly Norwood's films, where she's meant to deliver a line a certain way, but instead - and we've all been there - she grows three extra fingers and mouths silent nonsense to nobody.

getting a lot of questions already answered by my t-shirt

Good writing is anything I read before leaving school.

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Nation’s 56,000 Acres Of Spinach Crops Cooked Down To Single Half-Cup Serving

in 6-3 decision, Supreme Court said "lol do you need us to write out some lawyer stuff. why are we all pretending? we didn't even look at what this one was about, trump wins"

they should invent a potato peeler you can find

Disney plus more like minus Disney *a crescendo of strings. sunlight, breaking through dark clouds swollen by rain, illuminates my proud visage. the masses cheer; they weep and become inconsolable. “Enthrone him!” they cry in one great, thundering voice. I am enthroned*

i have decided to have no opinion on will stancil other than that his name seems fun to play with. this weekend we're gonna grill stancil. gonna eat until we have our fill stancil. heartburn? we'll take a pill stancil. and so on

I think it's time to admit that our entire planet is at active war with fascism. And that the war is existential, not just for minorities, for everyone.

This is simply untenable. There is no way forward with media and political classes captured by the right. Every time someone commits a crime you have to pray it's not an undesirable or it's purge time, then when it turns out to be themselves again they just shrug and wait for the next one.