APRIL FOOL!

I want to be nicer, I do, but people don't make it easy, do they.

Ever wish you could be, like, strategically dead for a bit, like, to avoid something, then cone alive again later

Heed this, Dennis Bell. #hmhb

Yellow Mama, Alabama! Ding dong, sparks are gonna fly! #hmhb

Me, on the phone to the guide dogs charity: WHERE'S MY GODDAMN PUPDATES?

A very serious animal

BRRR was a solution in today's Guardian crossword, which I thought was cool.

Stop scrolling & post two characters who bring you happiness

www.theguardian.com/technology/2... Let's all ignore warning signs!

Idk who needs to hear this but ACAB includes landlords

#nw They Live

At least if people do watch this Harry Potter shit they'll probably keep it to themselves and not blather on about it too much.

Must be that time he tore up that carpet tile in the kitchen.

You can't park here, mate.

Dangerous fascist ideas expressed so casually. Essentially: 'Once we're in power, the main purpose of the criminal justice system will be to crush our political opponents, irrespective of the evidence.'

I love it but I'll admit I'm curious why that needs a cctv camera pointing at it.

At last, a deportation I could get behind.

Just done an old Paul cryptic from 2016. This one made me sweat blood. If anyone can get this without any letters I'll happily buy them a pint: Adverse reaction, as German behind bars injects man with vaccine from behind (8)

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/live... Complete with a lolsome quote from world's most egregious cunt Paul Mason.

We want the media and politicians to recognise that there is a large number of women who are supportive of the trans+ community. We call on them to report truthfully about the sources of violence against women and to address the systems that perpetuate harm. notinourname.org.uk/petition/not...

What can you do when your mum's in Rampton bouncing off the walls, singing, "Who's afraid of Virginia Wade?"

Bought a nice bit of shin to put in a ragu. When I buy shin, I always think of the film, Shin Godzilla, and imagine I'm eating Godzilla meat.

List of all the countries in the world that ban all Afghan women from studying in their sovereign Higher Education institutions: 1. Afghanistan 2. United Kingdom Must make you proud to wave your flags, UK patriots with legitimate concerns. Wave them!!!

2B Or Not 2B - Poetry by Anna Chen youtu.be/76TtjHmAcBQ?...

#OTD 50 years ago. The Reggae 7" singles chart as published in Black Echoes. Max Romeo is at No. 1 for the 2nd week. Lower down there seems to be confusion with the Burning Spear 7". It was a double A side promo but occupies two places in the chart! #reggae #reggaesky #vinylsky #vinyl #musicsky

Wish that Canadian woman yesterday hadn't blocked me so I could go and helpfully point out what a knobhead she is again.

Saudi Arabia urging US to keep up Iran attacks, intelligence source confirms www.theguardian.com/world/2026/m... I guess they must be concerned about Iran's human rights record.

Well I never did like the sound of that grok thing.

Any excuse. Song of the year so far. youtu.be/jQjHjlQKqe8?...

Western values mean nothing to her.

There's a bloke who works in our local cornershop who looks like David Hockney.

It is hardly reassuring, though, that the man with the nuclear football is a man inclined to overplay his hand.

Best track about venereal disease? Well, that's easy, Conditional Discharge by John Cooper Clarke.

Jesus

Am rather a Ray-Ban fan, it's a shame I'll have to boycott them just as I'm getting into the idea of spending several hundred pounds amassing a sunglasses collection.

Gotta preen

Jesus christ. Set upon by the cast of Degrassi Junior High

Yes, huge Potter fan, me. How well this fake-leftist tantrum-prone spoilt child understands me.

Scratch a white Canadian with a hobby for a job and apparently they're still oblivious to their grotesque levels of privilege.

Seems a bit harsh to call someone a fascist for mostly agreeing with you but also saying people in glass houses shouldn't walk round naked.

I mean, broadly, fair enough but "coloniser"? I think our colonies had names like "Canada", didn't they?

For me, it's not a proper map unless it has sea monsters.

www.theguardian.com/thefilter/20... Extensive guide to looking like a bell here. Why not wear your pyjamas outside?

www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crim... I mean, good on him, I guess?

'Til I burn up!

Stuck this on when I saw Mark post it, what an extraordinary album. Like a sort of New Orleans gothic. Tremendous and weird.

Pueraria suffocata, known as smotherwort, is the fastest-growing species of plant. This vine of the kudzu family can, under ideal conditions, spread 10 meters per day. People living in areas where this species is invasive are advised to close their windows at night to avoid accidental asphyxiation.