phenomenal stuff from grok here

Headlines That Look Like Shitposts

CHESTER BENNINGTON (chorus) I'm Elmo's 𝗗𝗔𝗗 I'm tall and 𝗥𝗘𝗗 MIKE SHINODA (quietly) Tall and red all the time still I can't believe the son is mine

Absolutely brutal report just out from National Association of Realtors on the utterly broken US housing market. First-time homebuyers fell to a historic low of just 21% of all homebuyers, and their median age was an all-time high of 40 years old. The American Dream is dead.

Her first film will be g rated

A few months ago @thelocal.to got a promising pitch from a writer with bylines in whole bunch of reputable publications—The Cut, The Guardian, Dwell, Architectural Digest, etc. Then I started investigating. Here's a story about fabulists in journalism's AI slop era. thelocal.to/investigatin...

Cristiano Ronaldo? The egomaniacal sex offender who was literally named after Ronald Reagan? You think you know someone…

math textbook covers for some reason:

its genuinely so funny how much space late night tv hosts occupy in trumps mind

My “T.I.’s friend never urinated on me” t-shirt has a lot of people asking questions already answered by my shirt

Asked for "Swan Boy but make it 90s bootleg Bart" & this is what I got. Can't recommend enough, 5 popcorn bags 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿

i'd love to read a real evolution of "stay woke" - i saw it evolve as: 1. in black culture, a way of pointing out structural racism 2. on black twitter, same thing but often a joke about something silly 3. white people adopt woke to mean generic antiracism 4. conservatives learn a new n-word

We’re gonna get some mileage out of this one from @lukeoneil47.bsky.social

a “Space Force”, if you will

Been back on a noir kick this week. Finally saw High and Low. Watched The Lady Vanishes last night. Anybody got recs? I've maybe watched 10 of the classics but always looking for a good rec.

Any post-Trump reconstruction project will necessarily need to include the full restoration of Datpiff

Dazzle-Ships in Drydock at Liverpool, 1919 by Edward Wadsworth

CHARLIE BROWN: The deal agreed upon today contains major concessions. Lucy, for example, has agreed to give me two attempts at kicking the football tomorrow. But to me? What matters most is that I can at last continue with my important work on the pitcher's mound

The Democrats are like the frog and the scorpion except the frog takes the scorpion across the river then drowns itself

theres a whole category of newstertainment thats gotta go. and its "ask a really rich freak who is also evil and directly stealing from you what hes seen on the computer lately that has made him feel bad." the only -- ONLY -- story about this guy worth exploring is: he is getting rich spying on you

New York millionaires: threatening to flee the city since 2009

great day for the legal theory of "not guilty if it's funny enough"

Time for the second installment of my semi-annual text exchange with my dad

Happened outside of my downtown office building last week. - Group of women exiting building for lunch - Guy on bike riding on sidewalk stops and starts gesturing like wtf - Friendly lady: ope! Where do you want us? - Bike Guy: on the PEDESTRIAN side! stfu loser it’s a sidewalk it’s all pedestrian

Saw someone say that the enraged radicalized wine moms are going to impose Sangria Law and honestly that’s pretty good

Can anyone on here think of an alternative to distributing whole ass turkeys for a non profit on a tight budget? I’m working towards a concept of thanksgiving to go bags for people that will have instant mashed potatoes, instant stuffing, canned green beans, cranberry sauce etc.

Younger coworker pointed out that my signature goodbye when I leave the office is a “sideways peace sign” and I realized as a Texan of a certain age I’ve been chunking up the deuce to my colleagues for the past 16 years or so

Rudy Giuliani today

Head in hands wondering how this could happen to me, the popular president who posted a video of myself shitting on everyone 2 weeks ago

ANUBIS: (presses button with paw) [guilty] OSIRIS: im sorry he does this when he's hungry ANUBIS: (button) [guilty] [bad] [food] OSIRIS: you already ate ANUBIS: (button) [bad] [bad] [bad] OSIRIS: he's right though we weighed your heart against the feather and its not looking good

every science news article is like "chinese researchers invent cure for hurting your back getting out of bed" and every science policy news article is like "uncomfortable bed lobby successfully lobbies trump admin with $500 bribe"

LBJ was the last president this concerned with "ball room".

Watching The Shining and my dog started growling at the nude woman from the bath tub slowly walking toward camera lmao

it's me, unnamed critter from bosch's triptych of the temptation of anthony!

Moke America Electric Moke

Genuinely thought this was a spam text from a mortgage company and not someone’s name

irl @pantspants.bsky.social comic

within the narrow parameters of american liberalism, dennis duffy mindset is becoming real

a lot of political “scandal” coverage is just the media making a decision about whether public opinion needs a corrective

Top google search for these was a reddit thread where some guy called them lame and everybody in the replies was like "these are 🔥 actually"

“A tiger, an elephant, a giraffe…”

when i was younger we had different things than the things people have now