Rewatching Death of Stalin and waiting for everyone else to be raptured so I can have the world to myself

My loves

I ate my weight in marshmallows and I would do it again

a swan flew by and honked like a trucker, startling me and my bun bud

Sitting in my car waiting to clock in and these two stopped by.

Things I’m capable of: Virtue signalling Controversial statements Rabble rousing Things I’m not capable of: Giving a shit if you don’t agree with me.

A portrait of Saint Catherine of Alexandria from the 4th Century. A study of a Caravaggio painting. She was the Patron Saint of, among other professions; potters, librarians, nurses, lawyers, mechanics, haberdashers, philosophers, preachers, scribes, secretaries, lacemakers and millers.

Who makes a dentist appointment for 9am on a Monday right after vacation? This idiot

Feeling controversial today. Pineapple on pizza is a Christmas movie.

I think I'll go to bed early tonight. That way, I can get up bright and early to start hating on everything first thing in the morning

This is for the lonely bored housewives out there, stop sending pics of your pussy to strange dudes online, not only does it make them think we all will do that but I'm tired of seeing you all angry and rage skeeting when it doesn't work out for you.

When in doubt.. stroke one out. *me as a motivational speaker

You guys, they didn't say rapture. A raptor will be spotted Tuesday. Probably a hawk or something.

The Night of the Hunter (1955)

last day of summer i'll be ok, just need a moment

I have this same trunk but it’s filled with cake and pie. Weird.

The OG Antifa Terrorist

No, it's okay, I didn't need to finish saying what I was saying.

Prelim sketch by Miki Montlló #dccomics

Wow you can calm the fuck down, she's not gonna fuck you.

I’m never going to be part of the New World Order but remain forever in the Joy Division

It's #BatmanDay2025 So here's a picture of the best Batman, the best Robin and the second best Robin by Frank Quitely. IYKYK.

Sweet sunshine on a Saturday in September

I bought this for my son as a joke and it worked, he turned bright red and was like WHY WOULD YOU BUY THIS FOR MEE

Earl Bailey talking about this is the last weekend of summer making me cry

Almost there!!!

Pop songs are like "First kiss, butterflies, I feel so lucky to have found this guy" Then the rap verse is like "BIG DICK PUSSY SLICK GO AHEAD AND TOUCH THE TIP, ASS FLAPPIN TITTY SLAPPIN YOUR BOYFRIEND GONNA SEE ME MACKIN"

good morning ☀️ it looks like a beautiful day to love yourself

I just want to get the fuck home already MOVE PEOPLE

People from West Virginia just LOVE driving slow in the fast lane in Pennsylvania...MOVE THE FUCK OVER

putting this on your timeline again

Only 3 hours to the Poconos!!!

the best of the best, all bow to the legend Eagly.

Every day is a gift, mostly white elephants

Your evening Comet pic

Eagly, o pato mais INSANO e lindo desse mundo!!! 💖

Hard to top.

There's a magnificent, very good boy in the hotel lobby

Hellraiser 2

13½ hours in the car today and I have space madness but at least we stopped for the night

"I know a lot of you like ketchup on your cheesesteaks, but I like mustard." Who TF puts either on them? I can see mustard, maybe, but ketchup?!

prefacing every sentence with “fuckin” & concluding with “,bro”

They really fucking love Courtney Love on lithium and she literally can't fucking sing..don't @ me she suucks.

I've been in the car 11 hours already today, I'm at the sing every song in a mocking tone part of my breakdown

my therapist told me I'm a really good radioactive listener (conversations with me should be kept as short as possible in order to avoid irreversible health damage)

sometimes I wake in the morning and I step outside and I take deep breath and I get real high and I scream from the top of my lungs 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬??

Quote post un filtered pic and say your age: 804