Your likes and reposts feel like the love I never received from my parents

This guy's penismenship is better than my penmenship.

Good morning only to the 2 or 3 men with money who haven't fucked kids

I'm really starting to worry about how many people can't spot AI slop when they see it.

Ummm that's a big city no for me

I've been trapped in a game of Simon says since 1986

Matt Berry

Feed me chicken tenders and tell me my band doesn’t suck

whoa, I keep finding free Raisinets on this deer path!

Drop a poster of one of your favorite horror movies from the year (2006)

My wedding video. Fortunately no poster.

Drop a poster of one of your favorite horror movies from the year (2006)

What is it called when you like each other's skeets at the same time? Mutual masterskeeting.

losing my fucking mind as a little treat

Woman who's career is built on exploiting other's tragedies is now the center of a tragedy film at 11.

You were such a self righteous bitch on your old account that you have to hide behind a fake account now but the asshole still shines through and yes people are treating you as such.

Post your favorite LOTR character. Wrong answers only:

Forrest Gump is the next James Bond

Post your favorite Lord of the rings character wrong answers only:

Post your favorite Lord of The Rings character wrong answers only

Chunky peanut butter sammich

No new pictures. where are you mentally:

No new pictures. Where are you mentally

Remember, if they wanted to, they would.

My son has started to look at apartments and while I'm dreading the eventual silence of the empty nest I am looking forward to not having to listen to him curse through clenched teeth on the other side of the living room wall because video games

Lizzie Borden was the first hacker...

I saw this movie on tv

is it racist when humans play vulcans

Out-of-this-world cuteness. Watch #PuppyBowl Sunday at 2pm ET | 11am PT on Animal Planet, and don’t miss #Supergirl in theaters June 26.

i’m sick of having to wear winter boots!!! they ruin all my fits!!!!

All this time I thought ‘hindsight’ meant looking at people’s butts

Terminally online and completely full of shit. How fucking lonely do you have to be irl to pretend to be American just to have something to post about.

Yo mamma said you ugly hey

I keep hearing a dog howling outside but it's just my sinuses.

Introduce yourself with the name your parents almost gave you Not the one we wanted but the only one they would give us.

So this old woman got abducted from the house and nobody knows? No cameras no nothing no footage or anything ?

If you try to help an asshole, you're gonna get shit on

You don't even have to be funny to get laid anymore, just not a rightwinger.

Ahhh, fish. The vegetable of meat.

I still hit the blue write a post button. I just can't bring myself to use the whats up?

I'm sad no one got my vague Ab Fab reference

Your Mom sent me a picture of her coochie. Reminded me that I need to clean my shag carpet.

edging (eating a bowl of cereal with a small spoon)

LOOK AT THAT ADORABLE FACE

think i’ll start being a huge bitch bc people won’t stop taking advantage of my kindness. sorry they ruined it for everyone else

yUr dEsPaIr sHoUlD bE mOrE eLoQuEnTeR

If I have fleas, it's because of you.

Hey speaking of Batgirl… New stickers going on sale soon. Stickers printed by www.ashleyriot.com/pages/custom...