Dentist: have you been clenching your jaw lately? Me: have you been reading the news lately?

I’ve done some dumb shit for a hit of love.

Sorry I can’t make it again I got unexpected visitors. The visitors: Depression, anxiety, dehydration , childhood trauma & my bestie menstrual cramps.

There has to be some correlation between mental illness and compulsive cup buying.

Nothing like getting to therapy early so I can cry in my car to the Wicked soundtrack like I do every Thursday.

If you’re changing the definition of human rights, it means you plan on violating people’s human rights.

Sorry I called you a douchebag but it will happen again.

Get nailed on Good Friday, the way the lord intended

I'm a gangster in a situationship but an orchid in a relationship

Ewww. -me watching adults eat boneless wings.

Bed rest but no one is pregnant. It’s just me crying in bed while surrounded by empty Cheeto bags contemplating the meaning of life again.

Weddings are expensive. Can’t we just do a blood oath or something?

Remembering now why people really aren't my thing

DATING TIP: TELL THEM YOU WILL LOVE THEM UNTIL THE DAY THAT YOU DIE AND THEN DIE, LIKE RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF THEM

Corn dogs are morphologically similar to sausages on sticks, but that’s actually an example of convergent evolution.

These streets are messy someone get me a farm and make me a trad wife already.

Apparently adding “F Baby” to the end of everyones name at this PTA meeting is frowned upon.

My 7 year old just told me the whole country summoned Donald Trump by farting. Makes perfect sense.

*adds avocado to my Big Mac* - Wins the award for humanity.

Bsky is for inside thoughts just like an indoor cat being let out and surprised to be having a good ol’ time with other cats who were let out and surprised to be having a good ol’ time.

HER: "If you can't handle me at my worst, then-" ME: "I'm going to stop you right there. I can't. It's fine."

The important thing is that all the men at my job are scared of me

Remember the 90s when everybody only hurt sometimes.

Kendrick is a prime example why you don’t fuck with Geminis.

kendrick inspires me to hate more. i think of myself as a committed hater but i've never hated like that before

Me after saying “It’s Fine.” Before wreaking havoc on their life.

Kendrick Lamar is the reason why I keep a gang of Geminis in my corner.

Living to see Serena Williams crip walk to “Not Like Us” has been my greatest honor.

I'm never at my best this early in the apocalypse.

Enjoying this “We Read Smut” podcast episode where they’re discussing discovering Latinx romance authors and stories. Great recommendations and discussion. 📚💕 #BookSky #RomanceBookSky podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/w...

Where my #LatinX #Authors Mutuals at? I write Sci-Fi and Chicano-Futurism stories about A.I. and a future with BIPOC Characters 😎 #WritingCommunity #Bluesky #Sci-Fi #Romance

Read, share, act.

Damn boy… is that a fascist salute or are you just happy to see my entire worth as a Latina woman be stripped away so white men can have more power?

sorry i did jazz hands when you took off your bra

To each his own fries.

It’s a beautiful day to take a man for all he’s worth

Maybe alien invaders always attack the US because they want to save the world.

Never compare yourself to others; authenticity is rare and powerful.

Band name: “Dork side of the moon” “Ctrl Alt Delinquents” “The Geekend Warriors” “Wi-Fight the system”

here's today's post: "a dark day in America" — let’s be here for each other. thanks for reading, and please sign up for my daily newsletter so you never miss a post —

This man just offered me the moon so I’m running shit now witches.

welcome, exclusively young tiktok users! everyone on bluesky is very old. there are zero exceptions to this

Sounds like a plan

No words….

And guess what the Ku Klux Klan's slogan was in the 1920s? "AMERICA FIRST" I'm sure it's just a coincidence . . .