my year of using the crying-and-laughing react on 100% of the texts I receive, without exceptions, has resulted in a 40% decrease in overall texts received. Strongest recommendation

tres bizarre

The reason people think the Democratic Party doesn't actually stand for anything is because it doesn't.

im sorry you cant have food but we gave all our money to one guy who “invented” 2 day shipping and another thats promising robot butlers so you can see how our hands are tied

they don’t want you to know how they treat prisoners because it will grieve you to know it, which is natural and human, and because of your normal human reaction you will want the system changed. It’s important to them that your natural aversion to how the system works not be engaged.

Folks, having a solid crew of comrades you can rely on in real life or virtually is always essential and in the coming years we are all going to need to lean on each other.

💯💯💯💯

"It turns out boredom is the Cadillac of feelings."

You’re much closer to becoming disabled or homeless than you are to becoming rich and wealthy. It’s not a moral failing. It’s not something you can “try harder” your way out of. We need robust social supports & safety nets to ensure everyone is properly cared for.

Hell yeah, fellow Annie

“Ego Death at the Verizon Store” is a song that Lana Del Rey should write

Tonight we let the old bay talk

I think part of the lure of these chatbots is the illusion that there's an easily accessible answer to every question. I'm a busy man, just tell me what the best laundry detergent is, and also whether climate change is real

🚨 HEY DC 🚨 if you can participate in tonight’s emergency ride to provide critical resources to your unhoused neighbors you should. MPD & feds are expected to sweep EVERY tent of EVERY encampment as soon as 6:30pm tonight. stand up for your community and show the feds whose streets these are

the intensity of my anger at those who would criminalize the homeless — a population literally created by the greed and callousness of the ruling class — is very hard to contain. it was you who dismantled the safety net. if you don’t like the results, put it back

we need to teach the 1930s properly so that people know the Reichstag Fire was exactly this stupid

I just can’t believe our Reichstag Fire is the Big Balls Beatdown.

Signs the Frog Has Been Boiled www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/sig...

your honor, it’s because of my Scorpio moon

every minute alive increases chances of death

She’s ten ones in a trench coat.

Sun thru Thurs nights, I am Toad.

The people yearn for I Think You Should Leave season 4

finally, a place to cry

I am once again begging people to realize that the law is words on paper and is not self executing. "That's illegal" is not and has never been synonymous with "that's impossible" or "that can't be done." "That's illegal" means "you might get in trouble for that depending on who you are."

happy tax day, america

Plants: like animals, but slower

My dog when she doesn't sit on command but I give her a treat anyway:

I see more people flying with their pets these days and I have to wonder who are these people and who are these pets, all my pets are chaos demons and if I put any of them on a plane they would chew straight through the fuselage in order to escape

"No one has so little energy that they can't cook for themselves" Wanna bet?

hapy new

2025 i’m turning my life around. a complete 360. i will be the exact same

Dangerous Nights Crew, today is our day. Slick that hair back, gas up the white Ferrari, and order a glass of water with your steak, because we’re slopping ‘em up tonight!

You know why I love reading? These days it’s one of the few respites from being constantly advertised to.

Hey all, I’ve been co-coordinating a journalism workshop for DMV-area high school students for the last few years and applications have opened for next year’s program. It’s completely free. Please share with someone you know!

This is so incredibly fucked up

miss me with this bullshit

for those of you also in DC bsky.app/profile/51st...

The government doesn’t want you to know that you probably already have the ingredients on hand for espinacas con garbanzos, a rich and wholesome vegan meal that will impress your friends, nourish your loved ones, and overawe your rivals

you actually can fill the void at the core of your being with worldly possessions if you're really, really good at buying stuff

There should be a Pulitzer for satire www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/her...

Democrats today:

And so we enter Brat Winter

I like that this column both gives actionable advice and directs people to orgs in the city: including Capital Area Food Bank and the Multi-Door Dispute Resolution Division ("resolving disputes without the drama")

Republican talking points in the final week of the campaign: