QRP with the doctor you’d trust leading the hantavirus response instead of RFK Jr.

Me every time I go to a boomer relative’s house:

Post a character that starts with the letter Y (first or last)

I’m gonna go move those boxes, but first I wanna have a word with you. What the hell you doing, you little asshat? Eh, you little stupid fucking piece of shit. Shut up. Okay. All right. I’m gonna be looking for you on the computer.

Kushner & Witkoff whenever a war pops off

Happy anniversary to “I Think You Should Leave,” which premiered on this date in 2019…

sure it's a tool of social control and surveillance owned and operated by fascists, but it writes work emails for me. on balance who's to say it's good or bad

a very Happy Birthday to our queen of comedy and facial expressions, our favorite Detroiter @itsshawntaydalon.bsky.social! 🥳🎊🎂🎊🥳

when they say I can’t have my McFlurry because the ice cream machine is broken

Anything can happen in this world. We really know very little.

Best Star Trek crew. wrong answers only.

*starting slow chant* coffin flop…coffin flop!…COFFIN FLOP…COFFIN FLOP!

🤷‍♂️

Jeff Chris, from Indiana.

He’s a dead man walking. He got no time left. He’s only eating burgers, the only thing he can afford.

I should have prepared for my presidency, but I just watched TV.

The only King I recognize. 👑

Also, there‘s no, like, cute restaurants in the neighborhood.

Hey, everybody! Look at me! I’m partying with the USA Men’s Hockey team!

@netflix.com comment below if you’re not going to renew detroiters. don’t comment if you are.

Donny found the Clownputer

I swear to god. I was having a beautiful time, solo on the surf board. I see this mako shark—it’s so fucking close to me. It’s like from me to that guy over there with the shark tooth necklace.

Patti is all of us

ICE agents rolling into major US airports tomorrow like:

there's this girl on tiktok that makes her own ITYSL sketches and i am obsessed with her ability to just nail it every time

Waking up every day like

Harrison Ford must be fuming right now. He was jokin’!

Wow. Glad he resigned, but based on the things this guy believed in, he’s fuckin’ nuts.

Leadership diagrams don’t usually include how they died.