Happy national cake day!

gobble gobble who’s gonna stuff me?

🦃

I 🖤 leg day

Utahans will wake up to snow and still be like hell yeah shorts weather

If I ever send a Reel just know I’ve been kidnapped and there’s a gun to my head

Is there a girl-coded equivalent of a Chad? Why do I feel like it would be something like “Lacey?”

I can only eat paper but I can eat all the paper I want

gobble gobble who’s gonna stuff me?

Controversial post but Inside and Out by THE Leslie Feist > Inside and Out by The Bee Gees

Haven’t seen a good Call Me Crazy Susie TikTok in a minute

It’s 2025, I am not smoking a turkey for Thanksgiving - I am vaping it

I hope my whole family is ready for me to deliver a power point presentation on the Lizza/Nuzzi situation at Thanksgiving.

My moots never wanna see my butt 😞

I think we can safely say that the Leavitt's brother called ICE on his ex, the mother of his child, and I have to say: I have no desire to respect, find common ground or share the country with these monsters.

So a donor, a private industry you could say which is the GOP dream, offered to cover the Salt Lake county daycare program and Republicans like Aimee Winder Newton and Laurie Stringham still said “fuck them kids”

well, what we really need is an eleka-nahmenon? a what?? an ELEKA-NAHMENON!!

thankful my butt pics always flop thereby keeping me humble

well slap my ass and call me a turkey the way i’m ready to get stuffed.

Happy national cake day!

all my homies hate AI

please be a fast day 🙏🏻

My microwave sings a little song when my Hot Pocket is done. Should it have the right to vote?

being hot would fix me

All these men giving other men/they/them/she/her attention. What about me!

why can’t we have nice things too?

Man Who Thought Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’ Was Over In For Thrill Of His Fucking Life https://theonion.com/man-who-thought-fleetwood-macs-the-chain-was-over-in-for-thrill-of-his-fucking-life/

Ryan Murphy's next show:

it’s so gloomy today 😍

boop

I smell like onions who wanna smooch?

👇🏻👇🏻 having a little sale

💐

Nice guys finish inside you

me (sees a hot person): they can't keep getting away with this

boop

MAMDANI: And I just think that there are barriers, barricades, to helping Americans that we can break down TRUMP: Uh huh MAMDANI: And breaking down barriers? Reminds me of a certain Broadway show *smiling widely* where they worked together to break a barricade? TRUMP: *sitting bolt upright* Phantom

Find you a fascist who looks at you like this (then topple the motherfucker)

*attempting to flirt* So, are you into Schranz?

It’s fat cock Friday

A woman shouldn’t have to be hit by a car to learn she might have rabies

he’s zooted

It’s Trans Remembrance Day! 🏳️‍⚧️🫶🏻 If you don’t stand with and support the trans community get the fuck outta here!

you must continue to love the world even when it feels like too little of it loves you back. dogs and cats like you. animals outside can be befriended. some people are nice.

sorry for being in a bad mood it’s because I’m in a bad mood

man I used to be hot 😞

Frog and Toad was the blueprint for life, but y'all just -needed- your reality TV and now we're here

💙 www.boy-kingdom.com/shop/gays-an...

Dennis Hastert Just Going To Assume He Welcome Back In GOP