i'm blowing all of you rn. via keith's friend club: https://fc.keith.is

Tell me it's October in a GIF

@cumslut269.bsky.social described me as a chaotic top so anyway it's in my bio now.

millennial here, i do not claim this.

i just realized, if anyone is trying to get ahold of me on snap, i'm not ignoring you i just got signed out a while back and i didn't sign back in, and i haven't really missed it. i have signal now though. DM me if you want my @

Story time! Let’s set the scene. The year is 2013. I was freshly 21. I had been with the same guy since I was 17. I decided to throw a birthday party and invite some people over, including a friend of mine and this chaotic bisexual guy she was hooking up with. (1/)

I would say my favorite thing about upgrading to windows 11 at work so far is that at least once a day, when I go to drag an icon to rearrange my taskbar, explorer.exe crashes, re-launches, and then all of my open windows are in the wrong order 🥲

Me and who?

My toxic trait is that we have one of those flip calendars in the office by the printer and when the date ends in anything other than 0 or 1, I like to flip the tens place to 3 when I walk past it.

I had them caught up for like a day 🥲 sorry if I haven’t gotten back to you yet

In case anyone is wondering how to turn me from a lead to a customer, I happen to respond very well to massages.

I decided to make my display name more spooky

Thank god this is still up though 🙏🏻

Currently really depressed because the CupcakKe remix of Running Up That Hill has been removed from YouTube

I wonder if when you have a beard and you get a cold, you could use your beard as a makeshift sneeze-guard? 🤔

If you wanna help me make this my mantra lmk

mmm, yes, a "content creator and model" 🤖

I have done this before. It was for a white elephant gift but still.

And to this, I have a simple question for Microsoft: Why did we need this?

I am begging my employer to please stop sending out three separate invitations for the same event at different times on both teams and outlook 🥲

happy october, i will be putting on the only actually good album Kim Petras has ever released to celebrate.

Happy #locktober to all my friends who celebrate

Feeling nostalgic and going through pictures of my move back in 2020 and damn I don’t miss this place 🥲 (ft Rain, But Make It Indoors)

Good morning. The horrors persist, but so do I

everyone else: "i went to the gym today" me: "Well i only ate 6 frozen taquitos for dinner instead of 10 tonight."

the way i am cackling rn 😭

ok fine i haven't done one of these in a while.

absolutely no context needed here.

thank god y'all can't hear me right now because this cold has me making some truly unsexy noises. yikes. 🤧

on my chin⁉️⁉️

tbh i prefer to consider myself as more of a cool cat. 😎

but what about Toptober?

i'm sorry but i play with my dick way too much to participate in locktober, so i will be sitting this one out.

please accept this photo as a token of how sorry i am. it's old, but i like it, and the internet has a very low collective attention span, so i'm reposting it.

i jerked off and i was gonna take a picture of it but then i realized i left my phone out in my living room. I hope you can forgive me.

Just put an egg in a tomato and you will be amazed

The thing is is that there is never such thing as a perfect candidate. But the right gets behind their candidates knowing they’re problematic, and they use them regardless to push society more right. The left keeps waiting for some perfect leftist messiah allowing the right to keep winning.

I know. You’re tired of seeing and reading about how she was right and would never But I’m tired of watching and seeing our freedoms crack and crumble under the weight of authoritarian fascist evil Where the most vulnerable are targeted for state sponsored terrorism

I cannot imagine this is remotely comfortable, but what do I know? I’m not a cat.

i did not go to work today. no regrets.

Hello can someone please come tuck me in and give me a good night kiss and then snuggle me to sleep?? 🥺

I have made the executive decision that I feel like microwaved shit and I will probably not be going to work tomorrow.

@midwestguy185.bsky.social you wanted to see this, here you go. someone else finally found it 🤣

Live, laugh, let me at that cock

getting this turned into a large "always kiss me goodnight" style banner and putting it above my bed.

it's nice how freely everyone is just posting nut vids with sound on now and not just artificially limiting themselves to Sundays. Keep doing that. i love that.

me back when i ran a facebook group

Your dick is looking for people who won’t be intimidated, who won’t back down from fear, who won’t give up because of disappointment, who won’t run because the giant is much bigger. Be a David. Do the hard thing.

i have never identified with something this strongly in my life. 😭