A gay is born

Well I was going to bake bread and maybe do that puzzle tonight but instead I think I earned wine in a coffee mug while I wash floor water covered towels and fold laundry

9 bath towels, a mop & bucket, and a box fan older than me later; Got it all cleaned up 😮‍💨. Now hopefully I can get someone by in the next day or two to take a look at my wall to determine if there’s any water damage

Also the kitchen in my apartment flooded while I was in the city today 🙃😭

Ummmmmmm last time I checked I didn’t have a roaring moat/creek in front of my apartment

Yourself, but as a cartoon.

Softie Saturday? Never heard of her

Should I do a deep dive and look up new underwear to buy despite not needing to spend money rn?

Because I took that short fucking nap earlier I can’t go to bed rn and my brain can’t stop thinking

What if I took at nap at 6pm? Huh? Like what then?

Blep blep

Wdym I’ve only been at work studying for a test for 4 hours?!?!

Since it’s supposed to rain tomorrow, what if I did my puzzle with hot black tea while I baked some bread……. 🤤

Why do I feel slightly weird about calling someone older than me good boy 😂

I can’t wait to go back home after work to get to more pressing matters #fcf

19 years ago, paramore released ‘misery business’

I’m a fan of fudge but who the fuck would order this

How to tell bloomf he’s been making consistent appearances in my dreams lately?……… asking for a friend……

I found a new song that I can’t stop listening to and it’s giving vibes that would’ve emotionally crushed myself when I was finding things out about myself in high school

Post an album you’ve listen to 100 times

I just heard a God Is A Woman x Tit For Tat mashup and I felt like I was levitating

PRIDE MONTH SKIRCLE I would do a bubbel but it’s not working at the moment

Ex neighbor boy gave me a late bday present (collar bone and 2 more hickeys). He also managed to find 1/3 places on my body that completely factory resets my body and turns me into a puddle of pleasure 🫠🤤😮‍💨

And……..the results are in…….. #humpday

I’ve been waiting all day for this chilled glass I put in the fridge last night before dl trade came over 🥵🤤

My coming back to all of my emails and notifications on my work laptop after vacation today:

Contrary to popular belief: I kinda like getting calls from coworkers and management because usually they know I’ll pick up my phone and get shit done despite being there less than a year compared to my other coworkers being there +2 years. Me feel good at job 😄

Quote with your Top 4 Jhoto Pokémon

If using the stair master for an hour after not using it for almost two weeks doesn’t make my ass pics look plump I’m suing

Just realized all the pics I’ve been taking are bush and dick. I don’t have anything new for hump day 🫪

Braums doesn’t have cookie dough mixers and I haven’t not had a large Dairy Queen cookie dough blizzard in almost 10 years for my bday so I had to make my own…… It’s more like a shake but it tastes about the same

I love DL trade

Do I jerk off a third time today………🤪

Bi* but specifically

I’m just staring at the last four crab rangoons in my sushi order from earlier rn. As if an 8 piece roll, 6 piece roll, an order of dumplings, and two of the 6 crab rangoons weren’t enough tn 😮‍💨

I’m about to make very questionable food decisions and I’m going to need everybody to be really open minded

Honestly love my bday presents from my parents 😭💚☺️

I’ve got two bottles from home left to open. Do I open the white one or the red one

As @theabroadotter.bsky.social stated perfectly: FUCK THE DENTIST

Well my day is off to a great start

One more year to go till I have my first quarter life crisis!!! 🎉🎂🥳

I thought that was the “girl who was going to be okay” meme and didn’t notice 💀💀💀

IM BACK HOME!!!!! 😝😭🥹 14 1/2 hour drive recap: -Stopped 3 times for gas -Ended up in a ditch, got out within 2 hours -Went to the bathroom at 2 of the places for gas -Only had an Alani, a footlong from Subway, a Coke Zero & two liters of water all day -🚫🩳&🩲for 2 hours - 15 Grindr albums collected

We are at about just two hours left of my drive thank God. Now do I listen to a podcast or listen to men moan while I focus on driving?

I need road head to stay awake

No bc God wanted me to kms by giving me IBS and a super sensitive butthole

I need biceps and pits to compensate for my bad morning

Had to add an hour and a half to my drive time today but I’m persisting with the horrors bitches 😝

Can someone please make a bisexual background for my profile picture this month 👉🏼👈🏼?

I’ve been through some shit already this morning but I’m not locked out of the app anymore